CHAPTER 158: DEAFENING

[ Corridor leading to Autumn’s room ]

Velor and Kieran walked side by side.

Torchlight flickered in the winding corridor.The air smelled faintly of herbs and smoke, and far ahead, a single door stood ajar.

Velor paused just short of it.

Turning to Kieran, he lowered his voice, leaning in close. His hand rested on Kieran’s back...camaraderie? Caution? It was anybody’s guess!

"Just remember," he whispered, his lips barely moving, "we are still at Skarthheim."

His gaze lingered on Kieran’s expressionless face for a beat longer before he gave a tight nod and turned on his heel.

The moment Velor’s shadow vanished behind the corner, Kieran turned to the door.

It was unguarded...oddly so...and that made something in his gut twist. His fingers brushed the edge of the door, pushing it gently open. The hinges creaked softly.

And there she was.

His Autumn!!!

She had indeed moved.

Bathed in the golden glow of an oil lamp, she lay curled slightly on her right side, a thick fur tucked beneath her chin. Her breathing was steady, her skin soft with warmth. She moved again the moment he entered...not really moved...may be squirmed. But that was something.No ! It was a lot. A lot for Kieran. It meant she wasn’t just a shell anymore... she could feel him.

Inside him, there was a F5 level tornado brewing.

But outside...he remained still.

Every step towards her was cautious, reverent. Like the ground might vanish if he rushed... like she might vanish...gone from his sight again.

Kieran hadn’t noticed or overlooked, but the two maids were sitting on either side of her bed. Going on with their usual routine. One combing her hair, the other burning the incense by her bedside.

"Hmm," the older maid muttered, eyeing him from beside the bed. "This must be one of the freaks."

The younger one looked up, brushing back a lock of hair behind her ear. She sized Kieran from head to toe...slow, appreciative.

"Doesn’t look like one," she whispered. "He looks... fine."

The older woman snorted and gave the younger one a playful nudge. "Stop drooling. He is mute and deaf. Besides,he is here to serve her, not you. Get your eyes off him."

The younger maid bit her lip, cheeks flushing crimson. She turned back and resumed combing Autumn’s hair with forced...neutral focus.

Kieran, of course, didn’t hear a word of it.

He couldn’t hear their giggles. Couldn’t hear the breeze ruffling the silken curtains. Couldn’t hear the crackle of the burning incense in the little brass bowl.

All he could see was Autumn.

Her presence was all consuming. She looked so small in that massive bed, yet it was him who felt insignificant. Like a ghost trespassing into a shrine.

One foot after another, he moved towards her. Slowly. Like each step carried a thousand memories. And yet he wasn’t ready to face her.

"Hey, freak," the older maid called out, lips curled into a smirk. "What are you going to do today, huh?What trick do you have up your sleeves? "

But Kieran said nothing. His eyes didn’t even shift. She frowned a little. "He is really deaf, huh!!" she muttered under her breath.

Just then the two of them received an urgent summon.

The maids shared a glance, then quickly rose.

"Don’t do anything stupid while we are gone," the older one said, wagging a teasing finger at Kieran. "Alpha Thorgar will skin you alive if anything happens to his beloved..."

But she didn’t get to finish the sentence.The younger one pulled her along and giggled, already halfway to the door. "He is too pretty to be dangerous anyway."

They shut the door behind them with a soft click.

And then there was silence.

Kieran stood there.

Still.

Unbreathing.

Unmoving.

Then... he dropped to his knees at Autumn’s feet.

The sound of his body hitting the floor was soft, but in that silence, it felt deafening.

He inched forward and reached for her feet under the covers. His fingers trembled as they found her familiar warmth. And then... the Alpha broke down... completely.

The sob didn’t come in waves.

It exploded from him like something he had swallowed years ago had finally torn its way out of his chest.

His forehead pressed against her shins as his hands clutched at her feet. A strangled, silent scream wracked his body. His shoulders shook violently. His mouth opened but no sound came out.

He cried silently , but his pain was loud.

Louder than war.

Louder than any fury.

Louder than anything he had ever known.

Tears poured without rhythm, soaking into the rug, the fur, his sleeves. He wept like a man who had been holding his breath for years and didn’t know how to stop anymore.

Not for a second did he try to wipe his tears.

He let them come.

Because in this room, in front of her, there was no more pretending to be strong... no more ifs and buts... and whatever had torn them apart.

"You weren’t supposed to leave me," he sobbed. "You weren’t supposed to go where I couldn’t follow."

His mind flashed images of her laughter in his room, her hand clutching his as he kissed her, the way she whispered his name at midnight...

" I looked for you everywhere, Autumn! But... you didn’t want to have me? " His sobs were so deep they made his heartbeat irregular. " I know... I know you can never forgive me after what I did... maybe I would never forgive myself too... but Autumn... I can’t do this without you!!! It’s... it’s not like I am just saying it. I tried... when you weren’t there beside me... I tried living... but I can’t! " His grip tightened. " I just can’t breathe without you Autumn! I wish I could tell you earlier... I wish I could make things... different... love you like you deserve... rewrite our fate... rewrite everything... take away all your pain... I really do! "

He placed her toes over his eyes, and pressed them, soaking in her touch... soaking in the feel like a thirsty traveller finally seeing a mirage in the burning heat of a cruel desert.

" Autumn, I will tell you everything... why I did whatever I did... but I know nothing will justify what you had to bear... and our babies... " His fingers trembled as he leaned forward a little, trying to move the cover from her middle.