CHAPTER 163: _ HER WOLF

"Ask them for help... our mates."

"Absolutely not." Heidi blurts out instantly.

The wolf’s tone grows impatient. "Why not?"

"Because that’s not how this works." She sits up, brushing her hair out of her face. "They have their own reputations to protect. If they get involved, the NAY boys might get involved too and things might escalate beyond thoughts. Grayson and Morgan are probably already in trouble for coming to the Labyrinth because of me. I’m not adding more."

"That’s their job, Heidi. To protect you. To stand by you."

"Yeah, well, maybe I’d like to stand on my own two feet for once."

"I’m serious."

"You’re always serious."

"That’s because they’re your mates, Heidi. Their job is to look after you. You keep pretending you don’t need them, but you can’t win this race against Sierra alone."

Heidi sits up, wipes her face roughly with the back of her sleeve once again. "I don’t need them."

"You do."

"I don’t!" she snaps, glaring at nothing. "I’ve gotten this far on my own."

"Barely."

Her mouth falls open. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Heidi narrows her eyes. "You’re supposed to be on my side."

"I am on your side. Which is why I’m telling you the truth."

Heidi scoffs, standing and pacing the room. "Oh, ye of little faith."

"I’d rather be real than hold onto feeble faith," the wolf replies.

That makes Heidi stop. She glares into empty space. "You really have a way with pep talks, you know that?"

"I’m not here to comfort you," the wolf says dryly.

"Clearly."

"You’d be dead if I were just here to comfort you."

Heidi throws her hands up. "Wonderful! Love that confidence boost. Really keeps me going."

There’s a pause... then, unexpectedly, a low rumble of chuckle vibrates through her.

"Funny," her wolf murmurs. "You always act like you’re the only one allowed to be stubborn."

"Oh, don’t start."

"I’m just saying, it’s ironic."

Heidi pinches the bridge of her nose, trying not to laugh. "You’re so annoying."

"Correction," the wolf says smoothly. "I’m you. Or at least, part of you."

"Really? Because last time I checked, I don’t go around lecturing myself in a voice that sounds like it eats lesser wolves for breakfast."

"That’s unfair," the wolf says mildly.

She barks out a laugh despite herself, pausing to stare up at the faint water stain above her. "You know, it’s funny. You share none of my traits. Not one. You’re like... some old monk who’s been forced to live in my head rent-free."

Her wolf scoffs. "That’s not entirely true."

Heidi pauses in her step, raising an eyebrow. "Do we now?"

"Yes."

"Name one."

"We’re both reckless."

"Excuse you..."

"And loud," the wolf continues. "And you have no sense of self-preservation. Which, I suppose, comes from me."

Heidi laughs despite herself, the sound cracking the heaviness in her chest. "Wow. You’re really proud of that, huh?"

"Pride is for those with something to prove. I already know what I am."

"Enlighten me."

That draws a sharp nasal intake from her. "A survivor."

That shuts her up. For a heartbeat, all she hears is her breathing, and somewhere deep inside, the steady rhythm of her wolf’s presence pulsing like a heartbeat beneath her own.

"There’s one more." Her wolf suddenly pipes up.

Heidi rolls her eyes. "What?"

"We both care too much, though we pretend not to."

That one hits home. She swallows, jumps on her friend’s bed, and turns her face into Val’s pillow. It smells like lavender detergent and Val’s hairspray. It’s stupidly comforting. "Yeah. Maybe you’re right about that."

A quiet beat passes between them. Then curiosity wins over her exhaustion. "You know, I just realized something."

"Hmm?"

"I don’t even know your name."

Her wolf tilts his head inside her mind; she can almost feel the motion. "I don’t have one."

Heidi frowns. "Everyone has a name."

"I don’t care for one."

"Well, I do." She crosses her arms again. "I need to call you something. I can’t just keep saying ’wolf’ every time you pop into my head. It’s weird. Like talking to Siri with emotional baggage."

The wolf chuckles lowly. "You’re insistent."

"Guilty."

Heidi taps her chin thoughtfully, pacing again. "Okay, something strong. Maybe... ILLYTHIA? No, that sounds too elegant. Hmm, maybe..."

"No way! Maybe nothing!"

She stops mid-pace. "What do you mean, no? I didn’t even finish."

"That name is too feminine. Come on!"

Heidi blinks. "That’s... kind of the point?"

"I’m not feminine."

Her jaw drops. "Excuse me?"

"I’m a male wolf," he says, calm as the moonlight.

For a second, Heidi just stares at the empty room, like maybe she misheard him. Then she bursts out laughing. "Yeah, right."

"I’m serious."

"Okay, ha-ha. Very funny."

The sounds of chatters from the corridor drifts randomly into Heidi’s ears, making her ache for the sense of normalcy once again. To be a student whose worries are her thesis and how to meet up with the curriculum while she struggles to keep up with part-time jobs.

Not with a difficult wolf who is obviously trying to make her life more abominable than it already is.

"Oh, come on! Female wolves don’t get male wolves."

"Well," her wolf says, sounding distinctly smug, "you did."

Heidi sits back down on her bed, blinking like her brain just skipped a step. "That’s not—no, that’s not how this works."

"I don’t know how it works," he admits. "I only know what I am."

"A male wolf," she repeats slowly.

"Yes."

She rubs her face with both hands. "Great. Fantastic. My life’s already a circus, might as well throw this into the mix."

"I could change if it makes you uncomfortable," he offers lightly.

"What—change what?"

"Gender. I can shift either way. I simply prefer being male."

WHAT THE HECK?!

Heidi gapes. "You can what?"

"Shift," he says again, patient as ever. "Male, female... it doesn’t matter. I am what I need to be. But I prefer male. Feels... right."

"Right," Heidi echoes faintly. "You can change gender. Because that’s totally normal."

He doesn’t reply immediately, and when he does, there’s a note of wry amusement in his tone. "I’m not a normal wolf."