CHAPTER 18: _ WAY TO THE COLLEGE

Amias closes his eyes, gritting his teeth. The worst part is that Vark isn’t wrong. There’s something about Heidi that draws him like a moth to a goddamn forest fire. But it’s a trap, all of it. Whatever the Moon Goddess is cooking with this sick joke, it’s nothing good... he knows.

"Even if I did feel something, so what?" He hisses. "Marking her would make me a laughingstock. You know why none of us have gone near her? Because we’d be crucified for it. You think Grayson and Morgan would let me live it down? You think the Alpha would nod in approval while I tie myself to some fragile nobody?"

"Darien kissed her," Vark says simply.

Heidi’s words ring in his head once again; Darien kissed me. For some reason, it makes the veins on Amias’s forehead pop. His head jerks up, his lips curling. "What does that have to do with this conversation?"

"He kissed her. On the lips. You know... mouth on mouth, tongue probably involved."

"I know what a kiss is, Vark! He was probably playing with her. You know Darien. Mr. Honor and Dignity. He’ll do anything to look good in front of people. It doesn’t mean anything." Amias bellows, heart pounding hard.

"Or..." Vark’s voice softens, "he knows the truth. He knows that pretending the bond doesn’t exist only makes it worse. That denying it will ruin all of you."

Amias stares at the ground. Stares at the broken leaves, the shattered bark, the blood drying on his hands. He’s but a broken little mosaic of a boy lost inside himself. He hates how that sits in his chest.

"I’m not some desperate idiot looking for a way out," he mutters. "I’m not like him."

Vark agrees, "No, you’re worse."

That burns. Amias shoots to his feet, rage flaring again. "You think this is a game? That I’m just scared of commitment?"

"I think," Vark replies thoughtfully, "you’re scared of being vulnerable. Of wanting someone who might look at you and see you. And I think you’re afraid she’ll choose one of your brothers instead of you because you don’t think you’re worthy of being chosen."

The silence is heavy. Amias’s chest hurts. He can feel the air filling up his lungs. "I don’t want her," He asserts.

"You’re lying."

"I don’t!" he roars, voice echoing through the trees like a wound torn open. "I don’t want her. I don’t want any of this!"

The wind rustles the trees as if whispering back: liar.

But Amias doesn’t wait to hear more. He storms down the path, brushing twigs from his jacket, shoulders squared, jaw locked. He’s had enough of running. Darien can play the saint. Let the estate whisper. He’ll play the villain if that’s what they need.

Today, he’ll get in the car, sit beside his fake girlfriend, and pretend like none of this matters. Like Heidi doesn’t haunt him every time he closes his eyes.

And maybe... he’ll believe the lie.

.

.

With that, Amias heads back to his brothers because whether he liked it or not, they were always together and he isn’t going to be the one to break that brotherly facade they maintain outside.

Amias stalks toward the row of sleek black cars waiting under the estate’s oaks. Usually, the four brothers pile into one of the SUVs, laughing and trading barbs like it’s some sitcom rerun. Or sometimes they take their own cars, flaunting the latest sports models like badges of honor.

However, today, Amias wants none of that.

He slides into the driver’s seat of his own, shuts the door hard, ignoring his brothers who have been waiting for him to join them. He craves the silence and distance.

But no such luck.

Before he can turn the ignition, the soft tap tap of high heels echoes on the driveway. Lira’s voice floats through the open window. "Amias, wait. You can’t seriously ride alone. Let’s take my car instead."

He exhales, leaning back with a scowl. "No."

Her smile is honey laced with threat, the kind that fools no one. "Please? You know it’s safer, and besides, I want to drive. You always get to drive, so now it’s my turn to torture you."

Amias rolls his eyes but relents because arguing with Lira is forever pointless. "Fine. But don’t think I’m doing this because I want to listen to you talk your ear off about some scholarship again."

Her grin broadens like she’s won a game he didn’t even know they were playing.

"You’re the best, Amias. You know that, right?" She hops into the passenger seat, bouncing lightly like a kid on sugar.

The engine hums to life, and as they pull away from the estate, Lira immediately breaks into her favorite topic.

"Did I tell you about the new scholarship abroad I turned down? Again. It was from Cambridge this time! The professor said my research proposal was ’exceptional.’ I mean, who does that?" Her voice bubbles with glee. "But I can’t leave yet—not when there’s still so much to do here. And besides..." She leans closer, rubbing a palm around his abs. I want to be with you."

Does she realize it’s school morning and they are headed to school, not a hotel?

He doesn’t respond because he’s tried before( pointing out how unhealthy, unnecessary, completely delusional that is—but it only fuels her poetic tirades.

His wolf groans. "She smells like desperation. I hate her."

"Shut up," Amias groans.

Lira blinks at him. "I didn’t say anything."

"I wasn’t talking to you."

"...Oookay," she sings. "Anyway, I got another offer from Germany, but I’m holding off. Just in case..."

And so, she rambles on and on to an absent-minded Amias who doesn’t even catch a single whiff of her words anymore.

He thinks of Darien, of the way his father’s expression always softens when he looks at him. Thinks of Inés’s subtle nod of pride. Thinks of how Heidi smelled that day in the hallway like sugar, storms, and something he never got to have.

He hates how his wolf wants her. Hates how he can’t stop thinking about her. Hates that he’s being forced into a marriage with a girl he doesn’t want to impress a father he’ll never please.

He hates everything.

By the time they pull into the school lot, Lira is still talking. Something about how the school board is so obsessed with her. Amias’s head is pounding.

Students are already loitering at the entrance. A group of girls, mostly, with freshly done hair, shiny phones, and voices full of gossip and glee. The moment Lira steps out, a few of them squeal her name like she’s just descended from Olympus.

"Smile." Lira points out to him. "People are watching."

Amias steps out after her, taller, and of course, all the attention turns to him. Whispers trail after his boots.

"Goshhhh! They came to school together! Amias didn’t ride with his brothers today because he’s such a sweet boyfriend to Lira!"

"God, he’s so broody."

"Did you hear he punched his brother this morning?"

"I’d let him punch me."

"Do you think he smells woody or musky?"

He ignores them. All of them.

At that moment, his brothers’ SUV pulls up, doors swinging open like a coordinated movie scene. Grayson hops out first with his sunglasses and cockiness. Then Morgan tosses a basketball from hand to hand. Darien steps out last, adjusting his backpack and raking a hand through his hair.

The crowd of students collectively shrieks. Amias shuts his eyes to keep them all out. Sometimes, he usually enjoys the attention. However, now, he just wants them all gone. His kind is too occupied with thoughts of one person.

One lowly, filthy girl...

And that’s when he sees her.

She’s up ahead by her locker—Heidi.

She’s got her back to them, reaching into the narrow space. Her skirt sways slightly with the breeze, and the halo of light catching in her butterscotch hair makes her look... unreal.

Amias’s wolf sits up. "There she is. Let her heal your hurt this morning. Go, Amias. Go."