CHAPTER 87: _ NEVER GOOD ENOUGH

Heidi pulls her hips closer, rubbing her wet heat against his thigh. He lets out a sharp, choked noise. Something one could call the sound of profound agony. He tries to take a step back, to pull away, but her hand holds him fast. Her fingers stroke his throbbing length again slowly. The pleasure is a razor’s edge, a torment that’s too delicious to bear... she knows because he can’t move.

"Tell me," she demands, cat eyes boring into his in the most seductive glare.

He lets out a shuddering breath. The silence stretches heavily between them. His chest heaves, his muscles are taut with the struggle to maintain control. However, it’s evident he’s losing the battle.

Finally, he groans out a sound of defeat. "Stop. Stop touching me, and I’ll tell you everything. You don’t understand what you’re doing to me right now."

H-he’ll tell her? It works? Did she just break the Amias Bellamy himself? Hehe... it seems the strength that comes with being a werewolf promotes such unbounded courage that she doesn’t even know she has.

She lets go instantly and takes a half-step back, though her body still screams to be closer. The heat between them remains palpable.

Amias closes his eyes for a moment, gathering himself, his chest still heaving. He looks tormented as his jaw is tight, and his broad shoulders are slumped slightly, as if carrying an invisible weight. When he opens his eyes, they are still burning, but they hold a new kind of raw honesty.

"First of all," he begins in a low, coarse whisper, "if I had sex with you... If I claimed you right now... I would definitely mark you. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. The moment I entered you, I’d be compelled to mark you. It’s instinct. It’s what my wolf wants, and it would be too powerful to resist."

Heidi knows she’s been wanting to reject them. Hell, she even planned to—before Ms. Vesper made it known that people like her can not reject people like Amias, that is. However, regardless, she didn’t want him or any of his assholes brothers.

Now that she’s feeling the real bond, now that the moon has indeed fated them, she questions what she thought she knew or felt. This burning need and longing, it’ll kill her from within if she tries to resist it. His mere hesitation alone is painting anguish in her heart, now, imagine a rejection.

No. They must make this work... somehow. She doesn’t care if they have to do it in secret since it’s forbidden to be fated to four men, not to mention Alphas, at once. As much as she isn’t ready to suffer from the sorrow of a rejection, she also most definitely isn’t ready for whatever punishment the pack might have in waiting for being the bearer of such a curse.

That being said, she doesn’t care if Amias marks her or not.

"Yes, we don’t. We NEED that mark." Her wolf affirms.

Heidi’s brow furrows in confusion. "But... I thought mates were supposed to be marked," she blurts out the bewildered question.

He shakes his head, and Heidi can see the profound sorrow he’s trying to mask. Something tells her his pain goes beyond them.

Just what in the hell could have bruised this man to this very extent? On the outside, one would think he’s a guy who has it all. However, on a more personal note, Heidi can feel all that distress hidden behind his stoic facade.

"Mates are supposed to be marked, together, and in love in a perfect world. A mate marks their partner. It’s a promise, an absolute claim. But Heidi... remember Lira."

L-Lira?! Heidi sputters internally. The name lances a laser of pain across her every fiber. Her body, which had been humming with unfulfilled desire just seconds ago, now goes cold. A sharp, ugly spear of jealousy stabs at her heart, and she recoils as if she’s been burned. The image of the school’s sweetheart, Amias’s known girlfriend, flashes in her mind.

Perfect Queen Lira.

A bitter laugh tears from her throat. It’s a harsh, humorless sound that scrapes against the stillness of the night.

She throws her hands in the air, the devastating sadness clouding her eyes. "Oh, that’s it. You can’t claim your mate because of your super amazing girlfriend. You won’t risk what you have with her for me."

Amias tries to reach for her, his eyes filled with a pained urgency. "Heidi, it’s not like that..."

She jerks away from his touch, a wave of hurt and betrayal sweeping through her. The heat that had been consuming her is now a cold, biting fury. Her wolf which was just a moment ago full of delight and triumph, now snarls in the back of her mind.

"Let’s kill her, Heidi!" She howls out a frustrated and wounded sound.

Kill her? Heidi would have taken a moment to wonder just what kind of blood-lusted wolf the Moon Goddess has cursed her with after cursing her with four mates who are ALPHAS!

Bloody Alphas! Whoever or whatever the entity up there is... they must definitely hate her—she decides.

"Don’t touch me!" she yells at Amias, taking another step back.

"Her eyes are burning with a sudden rush of tears. "Don’t you dare touch me again! First, you try to put me off with a stick, then you tell me you can’t have me because you’re already claimed?"

Her body trembles, but this time, it’s from rage and heartbreak. The night feels colder now. The air is a sharp, unforgiving slap on her skin. She wants to run, scream, and lash out. Her wolf is urging her to do just that.

"Let’s bite Lira. We need to tear her apart. Heidi, you must let the rage consume her completely!"

Amias looks utterly lost. His face which was so full of controlled desire a moment ago is now one of pure desperation.

"Heidi, listen to me," he pleads. "It’s not what you think. It’s not about Lira. Not like that. It’s... It’s complicated."

COMPLICATED?!

Well, everything about them is complicated, and she is still willing to damn all consequences and explore this bond with him. If she’s asked, Heidi knows she has more to lose.

Hence, Amias Bellamy has no excuse. Just like his younger brothers, he thinks she’s not good enough for him.

She will never be good enough for the Bellamy brothers. She hates them. All of them.