CHAPTER 91: _ PLANNING FOR FAILURE

It feels like a sick joke. No, it’s definitely a cruel test designed to weed out the weak and break the spirit of the few who dare to try. She had to succumb to her new reality here because the human world is no reality for a beast like her, not to be matched to her own execution.

Her wolf, a voice she’s starting to get to know, whines in her mind. "Let’s run away. Let’s go with our mates. We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to be their pawn."

Heidi shakes her head, her eyes burning with a sudden, devastating sense of betrayal. The people who were supposed to be their protectors, the system they were forced to become a part of, are just a bunch of hypocrites.

"This is insane! This is horrible. What kind of system is this? Matching us to our execution, just because we’re Moon-blessed?" She scoffs, throwing her hands in the air.

Now, she vividly understands why Lucan wanted her to choose the fate of being perceived as weak rather than being strong and matched to her own death. Morgan and Grayson... even they had told her not to hit the sticker back then.

Heidi doesn’t believe it, but it is starting to seem like even they might care a teeny tiny bit about her well-being.

Amias’s current expression is grim. His face is a hard mask of resignation. He seems to be a man who has heard this all before and has grown tired of it. He takes a step closer, and a single, thick strand of her butterscotch-colored hair curls around his finger.

"Expect worse, Heidi. Expect worse if you fail to rise in the hierarchy. This is the only thing that could guarantee a stress-free life in this school and pack at large because even if you don’t seek trouble out, it would seek you just for being weak."

He sighs heavily. "You think this is horrible? Try to remain a low-ranked Omega, a charity case, or a Moon-blessed with no character growth. If you don’t find a way to become powerful, you will become a victim of a system that is far worse than what you’ve just experienced. They will eat you alive, Heidi. They will use you until you are nothing but a shell of a person, and then they’ll discard you. The labyrinth is your only chance to prove that you are not weak."

Heidi scoffs, the sound is a mix of disbelief and anger. "How am I supposed to fight? I don’t even know how to fight. I don’t even know how to control this... this beast inside me."

She gestures to her body, to the trembling hands and the aching bones which are a physical manifestation of her fear and her power. Amias’s eyes soften a little, the contempt from a moment ago melts away, leaving behind a profound and unyielding determination.

He rubs his hands together slowly. "The first thing you do is you learn to control your wolf. As a newly awakened wolf like yours would want to lord over you. It would want to be in control, to take over your body, to use its power to its advantage, but you have to show her who the boss is. You have to show her that you are the master of your own body, your own mind, and your own life."

He drops his hand from her hair, but his gaze remains locked on hers with a fierce, serious look on his face. He takes a deep breath, and his gaze travels from her eyes, to her trembling body, and then back to her eyes. A flash of raw desire, so intense it takes her breath away, flickers in his silver depths. He pushes it down, burying it deep, and then he begins to talk.

"Your wolf wants to be a wild thing, but you must teach it discipline. Every time it gets too excited, too angry, too frustrated, you must tell it to calm down. You must tell it that you are in control. It’s a simple command, but it’s the most powerful one you will ever learn. You must tell your wolf what to do, not the other way around. The more you do it, the more your wolf will listen. It’s a battle of will, Heidi. And you must win."

Heidi listens while her mind absorbs every word. Her wolf is a part of her, a beautiful, terrifying thing that she needs to learn to control. It’s a part of her that she never even thought could exist, but it’s also a part of her she now knows she must master.

Amias glances up at the sky, his eyes scanning the inky blackness. "The full moon is still out, which means you have a few hours to learn to control it. For the labyrinth tomorrow, you must be able to shift at your own will and since you still have the moon behind you tomorrow, shifting is still possible."

Shifting? Heidi is traumatized by that concept already. Her wolf hasn’t given her much of a first-time experience and the last thing she wants is to harm innocent people—demons or Moon Blessed. And did he just say to control her wolf?

Hell, there’s no controlling that unhinged beast inside of her. Heidi doesn’t think there’s ever a method possible for achieving that.

"This is the first step into surviving what’s awaiting you in there. You must be able to shift without losing your mind."

He holds a finger out. "You will think about a calm, peaceful place. Your happy place. It could be anything. A memory of a day you were a child, a place you’ve always wanted to go, or a feeling you’ve always wanted to feel. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes you feel safe, calm, and in control."

He pauses, and his gaze is now so intense that it makes her heart pound. "Once you have that place in your mind, you will close your eyes. You will take a deep breath. You will find the center of your being, the place where your wolf resides, and you will tell it to shift. You will tell it to be a part of you, not the other way around. You will be in control of the shift. You will not lose your mind. You will not lose yourself. You will be a hybrid. Half human, half wolf. You will be the master of both."

Heidi takes a deep breath, her mind whirling with the sheer weight of what he’s asking her to do. It sounds impossible. It sounds like a fairy tale. But a part of her, the part that has always been a fighter and a survivor, knows that she has to try.

"Now, I’m going to show you some combat training. You can’t just rely on your wolf to fight your battles. You have to be a warrior yourself. You have to be a force to be reckoned with."

Every word and motion of Amias’s only makes Heidi’s fear grow. If she has to learn so much under such a short time frame, isn’t that the same as planning for failure?

Hahaha... a nervous laugh resounds in her mind. The other Moon Blessed and she are all going to die.