CHAPTER 34: MASTER, I MISS YOU

Sword Empress’s POV

’...What do I even want?’

Every time I resolved to find that boy and apologize, I found myself denying the possibility that someone else might be him. To think that even at this level, I still couldn’t fully grasp my own heart.

’...Maybe it’s because so much time has passed.’

It’s been ten years. A span long enough that it’s more likely he couldn’t endure the harshness of the world and lost his life. Honestly, even if I found him now, I wouldn’t know what to say. I kept telling myself I’d apologize, but I couldn’t clearly say how I’d make up for his ruined life and lost time. With each passing year, the words I’d prepared lost their meaning.

For a boy not yet of age back then, ten years was a precious time—too valuable to casually claim I could compensate for. It was the golden period of his life, and I’d ruined it because of my own fault.

Even if I found him now, how could I possibly repay that debt? No—wouldn’t it be rude to even show my face to him? What if he’d overcome his pain and was living well now, a young man—wouldn’t I just dredge up old wounds for no reason?

’What good is reaching this level... when I’m still so lacking at dealing with people?’

My master was right—people are harder than the sword. Not a single word of hers was wrong.

"Miss, are you in there?"

Startle.

I’d been so lost in self-reproach, neglecting my surroundings, that I hadn’t even noticed the Masked Golden Ghost approaching outside the carriage.

"Ahem, what’s up?"

"Mind if I come in?"

"Do as you like."

He parted the tent flap and stepped inside. Seeing him in the midst of my turmoil made my heart ache even more.

"I noticed earlier you couldn’t eat properly because of me, so I brought some food. If the drinking crowd’s too much, you can eat in here."

He held a plate piled with food. I waved it off without looking closely. At my level, skipping a few meals wasn’t a bother, and as a Taoist, I avoided rich or meaty dishes—leaving little I could eat from a rowdy men’s drinking party.

"I appreciate the thought, but a Taoist—"

"I heard you avoid rich food and meat, so I asked and picked stuff accordingly. I brought it anyway, but if it’s still inconvenient, just leave it."

"..."

Sure enough, it was mostly grains and vegetables, minimally seasoned. And then—

"Where’d you get fruit...?"

There was a red fruit I hadn’t seen earlier.

"They’re merchants, aren’t they? I figured they might have fruit among their goods, so I bought some. Luckily, it’s fresh."

"Fruit’s expensive this time of year, isn’t it?"

"Thanks to you, I’m riding for free, right? And you’re covering my drinks—would I skimp on this much?"

Though I couldn’t see his face under the hood, I felt him smiling.

"We’re traveling to Anhui together, aren’t we? If there’s anything uncomfortable or to avoid, we should adjust for each other. A one-sided relationship where only one sacrifices isn’t good. I’d like to get closer to you, Miss."

"W-What...!"

"Haha, I don’t have many acquaintances in the secular world, so don’t take it too seriously."

A common ploy. I’d dealt with tricks like this plenty of times before.

Flap flap.

’Me, a man! How dare he flirt so shamelessly!’

That’s how it should’ve been, but my face flushed red. I’d long mastered resisting heat and cold, yet my body felt warm. As I fanned myself with my hand to cool off, he set the plate down and stepped out.

"Oh, and Miss, don’t worry too much about what I said earlier."

"I barely remember her now. That woman."

Swish.

With that, he left the carriage.

"...Was that consideration?"

I’d scolded him without knowing his story first, yet he came to comfort me because I seemed troubled.

’T-The younger generation these days must be taught this stuff separately.’

Flap flap.

I thought I’d gotten used to it, but the heat rising to my face wouldn’t subside easily.

"Hoo..."

To think I’d feel this way at my age. He was a scary one. I hadn’t heard rumors of him being a womanizer, but this wasn’t the work of an amateur. The emotions he stirred felt pure, yet his skill was undeniable.

Crunch.

To calm myself, I picked up the food he’d brought and took a bite. It wasn’t amazing, but it was decent enough. And the fruit—

Crunch.

The juice was wonderfully sweet. A lingering sweetness danced in my mouth.

+

Protagonist’s POV again

’Befriending a peak master can’t hurt.’

Most martial artists never reach that realm in their lifetime. She looked barely in her twenties yet had that level of skill—a true monster among monsters. How high she’d climb in the future was exciting to think about... but that wasn’t my concern, since I’d return to the mountains anyway.

’Come to think of it, someone like her might have a nickname.’

I wasn’t well-versed in the Central Plains’ affairs, but a figure of her caliber—unless she hid her skills tightly—surely had a title.

’She’s from Huashan, uses a sword, and is a young woman... Sword Peak? Sword Flower?’

Honestly, I didn’t know how nicknames worked, so those were my only guesses. Though "Sword Flower" gave me an eerie chill for some reason—not a title with good vibes. It felt like one that’d bring bad luck to whoever had it or once did. I didn’t want to get close to it. I’m a fortune teller, after all—I can sense vibes like this.

’Since she promised to cover drinks... I should stick close in Henan.’

She said she’d pay for liquor until Anhui, so that should include sightseeing in Henan too. She seemed familiar with Henan, so if I played it right, she might even guide me. Even if she didn’t know much, just tagging along was a win.

A peak master, after all. I’d considered hiring a guard for safety before this trip, but she blew that worry away just by being here. Sticking by her side guaranteed my safety in Henan, and building rapport now might let me suggest places to visit later. I didn’t say we should adjust to each other’s comforts for nothing.

That’s why I’d picked up a knife after so long. Ten years of cooking weeds in the mountains had taught me how to coax decent flavor from minimal seasoning. It couldn’t match secular cuisine, but it wasn’t inedible. Even Master praised it sometimes.

"Judging by how you sliced those veggies earlier, you’ve cooked a lot, huh?"

"A lot, yeah."

"Haha, whoever your wife is, she must be well-loved. There’s real affection in your knife work."

"..."

Affection? Don’t make me laugh. I felt no affection for that wretched woman.

["See that tree? You planted it when you came of age, and now it’s grown taller than you. Back then, it barely reached your knees."]

That woman...

"..."

...Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to look for a gift women might like in Anhui.