CHAPTER 61: 61: THE WORLD WAS RELENTLESS

Another day of walking down the highway had Zara ready to pull her hair out and scream in frustration. They weren’t getting anywhere and we’re still out in the open. Her grip on Leo’s small hand tightened as she cast a wary glance over her shoulder. No signs of movement. Not yet.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Leo’s voice, small and hesitant, broke through the quiet.

Zara looked down at her son. His wide brown eyes were fixed on her, filled with a worry that no three-year-old should have to carry. He was still scared from the near collision they’d escaped with some zombies, she was still shaken too.

She forced a smile, though the sharp throbbing in her temple threatened to break her composure. "I’m fine, sweetheart," she lied, brushing a lock of his dark hair away from his face. "Just tired."

Leo frowned, his little hand tugging at hers. "You said you were tired yesterday too. Does your head still hurt?"

"A little," she admitted, crouching to his level. She didn’t want to lie outright. "But don’t worry about me, okay? I’m tough. Like you." She gave his nose a gentle tap, drawing a faint giggle.

"You need a nap, like me."

A laugh escaped her despite the pain. "I wish I could nap like you, kiddo. But we need to keep moving, we’ll find somewhere to stay once it’s dark then I can take a nap."

Leo nodded solemnly, his tiny shoulders straightening as though he needed to prove her right. "I’ll help. You don’t have to fight the bad guys by yourself."

Her throat tightened. "You already help me, Leo. You’re my superhero, remember?"

He grinned at that, clearly pleased with the title. "Hmm! I am!"

Zara tried not to laugh out loud again. So typical of a child to loose track of what was being said seconds ago in favour of being a hero.

*****

They paused under the skeletal remains of a rusting billboard. Zara slung her bag to the ground and knelt beside it, pulling out a battered water bottle. Leo sat cross-legged on the cold asphalt, watching her with curiousity.

She wanted to get in some "training" at any point she could get. She didn’t want him hurting himself or giving away his powers to others once they encounter people.

"Have a drink baby and let’s try it again," she said, handing him the bottle.

Leo’s face lit up as he took the bottle. After a few sips, he placed it in his lap and closed his eyes.

Zara watched as his little brows furrowed in concentration, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, with a faint shimmer, the bottle disappeared.

"It’s in!" Leo said, beaming.

"Good job, baby," Zara said, ruffling his hair. "Now, can you take it back out?"

Leo nodded, sticking his tongue out slightly as he focused. A moment later, the bottle popped back into existence in his hands.

"Perfect," Zara praised. "Now, let’s try something new. I want you to go inside with the bottle, okay? Just like before."

Leo hesitated, glancing around as if expecting the shadows to leap out at him. "Do I have to stay long?"

"Not long," Zara promised. "Just a few seconds. And I’ll be right here."

He nodded, closing his eyes again. This time, his body shimmered before fading completely. Zara reached out instinctively, her hand passing through the air where he’d been.

"Leo?" she called softly.

"Here, Mommy," came his faint reply, though it sounded distant, same as last time.

So communication wasn’t an issue, great.

Zara frowned, focusing on his voice. "What do you see?"

"I’m in my happy place," Leo said, his voice muffled but clear enough. "It’s still cosy-dark. There’s a little light, but it’s not scary. It’s... soft."

"Soft?" Zara repeated, her curiosity piqued.

"Like the moon," Leo said thoughtfully. "Not the big scary one outside, the little one in the goodnight book."

It took Zara a moment to get what he was saying and she tried not to laugh again. Before the world went to shit, they had a bedtime story routine and one of his Favourite books was the one where the moon turned out to be made of cotton candy.

She was not surprised he still remembered it with how much he loves listening to it. "Okay, Leo. Come back to me now."

A moment later, he reappeared in front of her, blinking up at her with a proud smile.

"I did it again!"

"You did," Zara said, scooping him into a hug. Her chest tightened as she held him, his warmth grounding her in a way nothing else could. "You’re amazing, you know that?"

He giggled, nuzzling into her neck. "Yup! I’m your superhero."

This time, Zara did laugh. "Yes you are," he was the only thing saving her in this cruel, different world.

*****

They resumed their walk, the highway seeming to stretch endlessly before them. Leo held her hand, skipping occasionally as they walked. Zara was happy to see he wasn’t too terrified from the experience that night.

"Mommy?" Leo said, pulling at her hand lightly.

"Yes baby?"

"Can-can I have a snack?"

Zara noticed his hesitation and remembered he had complained about the meal choice last time. "Sure baby," she patted his head, "let me get it out of the bag for you."

"I have some in my happy place! Can I have that?" He asked again.

"Oh? What type?" She wondered when he had put them in his space.

"Lots and lots!" He spread his hands to show how many there supposedly was.

"Hmmm," Zara pretended to think, resisting the urge to squeeze his cheeks as he pouted. "I guess you could have them, but only if I see them and you promise to not eat it all at once."

"Okay," Leo said, his tone serious. "I’ll give you some too."

Zara blinked at the glass jar of biscuits that had appeared in his hand. It was a brand they had at home before the apocalypse, one of the first things to go missing after. She wondered what else Leo had taken from their house.

"You need to be careful with that baby, want mummy to hold it for you?"

"No! I can carry it myself!" He huffed, struggling to hold it with his left hand and hold Zara with his right.

Zara shook her head in amusement, wondering how he was going to open and ear from the jar with one hand.

No sinner had she thought that did it happen. Leo tripped, his grip on her hand slipping as he stumbled. The sound of shattering glass echoed in the stillness, and Zara’s blood ran cold.

"Leo," she whispered, pulling him to his feet. "Are you hurt?"

Leo’s bottom lip quivered, tears pooling in his wide, frightened eyes. "The bottle," he stammered, pointing at the shards on the ground. "It fell out of my hand, Mommy. I—I didn’t mean to..."

Her chest tightened at his trembling voice, but she forced herself to stay calm. "It’s okay, sweetheart," she said, scanning his small frame for injuries. "Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, sniffling.

Before she could reassure him further, a low, guttural groan pierced the air. They both tensed at the sound.

"Mommy..." Leo grabbed the hem of her coat, eyes wide with fear.

"Leo baby, listen to me," Zara said, her voice firm as she kept her eyes on the road. "You need to go into your room now. Stay there until I say it’s safe."

"But, Mommy—"

"Now, Leo."

Tears welled in his eyes, but he nodded, disappearing into his space with a faint shimmer.

Zara exhaled shakily, gripping the pipe as the groans grew louder.

’I might need a better weapon,’ she thought, shifting her stance.

The first zombie staggered into view, its decaying body swaying unnaturally. Zara’s grip tightened, her heartbeat hammering in her ears.

"Come on," she muttered, stepping forward.

The creature lunged, its jaws snapping inches from her face. A memory surfaced—her first kill. She’d sobbed, retching at the gore, haunted by the thought that these creatures were once people.

For days, guilt had consumed her.

Now, there was no hesitation.

Zara sidestepped, plunging the sharp edge of her pipe into its temple. It collapsed with a wet thud, but more were coming.

Two more figures staggered into view, their hollow groans sending shivers down her spine. Zara’s migraine pulsed fiercely, blurring her vision, but she gritted her teeth and steadied herself.

"Not now," she whispered through gritted teeth.

The first of the two lurched forward, its filthy hands reaching for her. Zara swung the pipe again, this time catching it under the jaw. The impact sent its head snapping back with a wet crack, and it collapsed in a heap.

Before she could recover, the second zombie was on her. Its claws raked across her sleeve, tearing the fabric as she dodged. Zara kicked it in the knee, sending it stumbling backward.

She followed up with a downward strike, the pipe smashing into its skull with a nauseating squelch.

She staggered, breathing hard. Her arms ached, and her head felt like it was splitting apart. Her vision swam for a moment, and she blinked furiously to clear it.

The smell of the rotting corpses only aggravated her nausea.

Another groan. A third zombie appeared.

Zara adjusted her grip on the pipe, her knuckles white. "Just one more," she muttered, trying to psych herself up.

The creature shambled closer, its rotted flesh falling off as it moved. Zara waited until it was almost on her, then lunged, jamming the pipe upward into its temple. The zombie went limp, sliding off the pipe and onto the ground with a thud.

Silence.

Zara stood amidst the carnage, her chest heaving and her hands trembling. Blood and gore dripped from the pipe, and the smell of rot clung to the air. Her stomach didn’t twist anymore at the sight. Her hands didn’t tremble.

She glanced down at the dismembered bodies and felt nothing. The girl she’d been—who cried over her first kill and had nightmares about the faces of the infected—was gone.

"Am I losing my humanity?" she whispered as the wind whipped through her hair.

The sound of faint shuffling broke her thoughts. Another groan echoed nearby, farther off but still too close for comfort.

"Leo," she called, her voice hoarse. "It’s safe now. Come out."

A faint shimmer appeared, and Leo materialized a few feet away. His face was pale, his small body shaking as he ran to her and threw his arms around her waist.

"Mommy!" He cried out, squeezing her leg tightly.

Zara quickly snatched him off the ground and rushed away from the scene. She would comfort him once she made sure they were relatively safe.

They found shelter in another abandoned car away from the carnage, the windows frosted over but intact. Zara sat in the backseat with Leo curled against her, his small body trembling.

"Sorry mommy," he whispered. "I didn’t mean to drop it."

"Hey," Zara said gently, cupping his cheek. "It’s not your fault, Leo. Accidents happen."

"But the bad guys came," he said, his voice cracking.

"And I took care of them," she reminded him, brushing his hair back. "We’re safe now. That’s all that matters."

Leo nodded, though his lip quivered. "I don’t like when you fight. What if you get a bobo?"

Her chest tightened, he was probably too frightened to notice the blood on her shoulder was hers. "I’ll do everything I can to keep us both safe. You don’t have to worry about me, okay? That’s my job."

"But I’m your superhero," he said, his tone sad as tears welled up in his eyes.

She smiled faintly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You are. And you did great today, Leo. You went into your room just like I asked. That’s how you help me, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly, snuggling closer.

Zara frowned as she glanced down at herself and then at Leo, who was snuggled against her side, his tiny hands clutching her coat. They were both filthy. Blood, sweat, and grime clung to their skin and clothes. She shifted uncomfortably, the dried gore flaking off with every movement, and her nose wrinkled in disgust.

Her eyes lingered on Leo, his soft, cherubic face marred with smudges of dirt and streaks of tears. Her heart clenched as she wiped them away. A child didn’t deserve to be caked in filth and surrounded by decay.

Zara pressed her lips together, a knot tightening in her chest. He can’t fall sick. She wouldn’t allow it. The memory of him being unresponsive while his powers evolved filled her with dread. She wasn’t sure she could go through that again, much less alone.

She couldn’t afford to let anything happen to him. A bath, even a quick wipe-down, was essential. But where? How?

She sighed heavily as she leant her head against the chair, thinking about the bath in that base she had been in that time.

It already felt so long ago.

Her brows furrowed at the memory, her fingers twitching involuntarily as she recalled the warm water of the bath, the brief, stolen luxury of being clean for once.

Thoughts of the base made her think of the person who took her there.

Winter.

She hasn’t seen him since they escaped from the base with their loot. He hadn’t said much, as always, but his presence had been... grounding.

Where is he now?

She did think she had heard his voice in the cache but had it been real? Or was she slowly losing her mind, conjuring his presence out of desperation?

Her lips pressed into a thin line, irritation sparking in her chest. That man, Zara? Really? She had far more pressing things to worry about than a man who’d been little more than an ally. An ally with sharp eyes, a voice that lingered too long in her thoughts, and a way of looking at her that made her feel seen in a way she didn’t know she wanted...

She clenched her fists. "Ridiculous," she muttered under her breath, shaking her head as if to dispel the thought.

She rubbed at her temples. This wasn’t helping. She couldn’t afford to lose focus.

A small hand tugged at her, breaking her from the spiral. Zara opened her eyes, glancing at Leo, who was sleepily fiddling with the button of her coat.

"Mommy?" he asked, his voice small. "Why do we smell so yucky?"

A laugh bubbled up before she could stop it, lightening the heaviness in her chest. She reached over and ruffled his hair. "Because we’re dirty, sweetheart. That’s what happens when you fight zombies and run all day."

Leo scrunched his nose. "I don’t like it."

"Me neither," she admitted, pulling him onto her lap. "We’ll figure something out soon, okay? I don’t want you getting sick."

"Ok," he yawned, nuzzling against her chest as he fell asleep.

As Leo’s breathing evened out against her chest, Zara’s vision blurred again. Her hand moved instinctively to her shoulder, and when it came away, it was slick with blood. She needed to get that checked before it led to something else.