CHAPTER 642: 600 LITTLE BOWLS OF CONTRADICTION

I turned around and saw Little Bowl.

She was standing a few meters behind me, and the sounds of a gathering dinner were coming from afar. Even though others had superhuman hearing, they couldn’t hear our conversation here. The ability to make others unable to hear if I don’t want them to can be possessed by those with the Power of Heaven and Earth, like Little Bowl and me.

"You want to tell Sister Mazao that you actually look forward to Doomsday?" Little Bowl asked again.

"This is what we agreed upon in the past, isn’t it? After returning to the real world, I must tell Mazao my true feelings," I said. "Perhaps this will make Mazao choose to become my enemy... no, she will certainly choose that. She cannot choose any stance other than ’saving the world’, and we will inevitably become enemies. Even so, I must tell her my true feelings. I have made my decision."

"Won’t you be sad breaking up with Sister Mazao?" Little Bowl asked.

In my mind, images of our previous gatherings flashed by. Mazao sitting on my lap, her face blushing as she ate the food I fed her, the lively sounds all around us. Such scenes may never happen again in the future.

Meanwhile, my heart was also painting a dramatic confrontation with Mazao, eagerly and fervently looking forward to it.

Sadness and anticipation intertwined, tearing at my heart. If I want to escape from this vortex, I must make a decision quickly. I cannot think of any reason to stand still. Even if destruction awaits me ahead, I must embrace it. This is the path I have chosen for myself, with no turning back, no regrets allowed. I permit myself to do anything, except to regret.

"Will you still choose to stand by my side?" I asked.

"Just like Brother Zhuang Cheng has to keep his promise, I must keep mine. At the same time, I will not take back what I said before. Brother Zhuang Cheng is the embodiment of my dream, and I will believe in Brother Zhuang Cheng just as I believe in myself." Little Bowl said.

"Even if I will break with Mazao next, you still believe I can bring happiness to Mazao?" I retorted.

Little Bowl sighed and said, "Brother Zhuang Cheng, it seems that you’ve forgotten some of the things I said."

"Forgotten?"

I was very surprised, then quickly searched my memory. There were no gaps in my memory, and it would be impossible to have lost anything due to Frenzy during the Post-mortem World adventure.

"It’s okay, you will remember soon enough," Little Bowl said with a smile. "I came after you, not to stop you, nor to confirm your determination. I wanted to thank you. Thank you for not stopping me earlier."

I replied knowingly, "You mean the mission accomplishment part. Although you will disappear after fulfilling it, since it’s a decision you’ve made with strong willpower, I will stand by you and help you just as you helped me."

Little Bowl said happily, "Then I owe Brother Zhuang Cheng a lot, don’t I?"

"But, even if I am to fall in love with Zhu Shi, I can’t fall in love so quickly, can I? Besides, I am a man who is clueless about romance; even if I do fall in love, I may not be able to create a romantic atmosphere with Zhu Shi. As for Zhu Shi, you can see that she is hardly a character associated with the word romance either." I said.

"In this regard, it will require Brother Zhuang Cheng to be proactive. Hmm, to increase your enthusiasm, let’s add some stakes. For instance..." Little Bowl pondered deliberately before saying seriously, "If you pursue Zhu Shi now, Little Bowl could be a bonus, how about that?

"Zhu Shi previously called me mom. Not only can you have the charming female college student swordsman in your house, but you can also pursue her adorable mom, accomplishing a mother-daughter double harvest in a way!"

"How can you ask me how it is... calling me brother while claiming to be a mom, isn’t that a bit chaotic?" I teased, "Besides, you look only ten years old, isn’t that a little too young anyway?"

"Is that so? I’m the popular young mother type now, can even this not move Brother Zhuang Cheng’s heart?" Little Bowl seemed to absorb some peculiar knowledge from Zhu Shi. "Moreover, last time when I cushioned your knee, you seemed comfortable; was I wrong about that?"

"At that time, you were healing me, of course, I felt better," I changed the subject, "Besides, didn’t you want me to like Zhu Shi? By promoting your benefits to me like this, my increased favorability would mostly be towards you, not Zhu Shi, right?"

"That’s true... a two-person three-legged strategy might have problems? But with just Zhu Shi alone, achieving a balance of forces with Sister Mazao seems impossible; after all, I still need to assist her from the side..." Little Bowl seriously contemplated.

It was only at this moment that I noticed a blind spot, one that shouldn’t have been overlooked.

"Little Bowl, I have a question," I said.

Little Bowl looked into my eyes, paused slightly, then asked, "What is the question?"

I slowly asked, "Why must fulfilling your innate mission require me to fall in love with Zhu Shi?"

Back then, Zhu Jiu gave her existence to her daughter’s Dream Avatar, which incidentally led to the birth of today’s Little Bowl. Although this wasn’t Zhu Jiu’s intended conscious act, the purpose that could be achieved simply by making her daughter Zhu Shi, who was already living in the real world, happy doesn’t require transferring her existence to the Dream Avatar from the start.

Moreover, the current Zhu Shi doesn’t necessarily have the desire for love; that part of the obsession resides in Little Bowl.

In other words—

"To fulfill the ’childhood Zhu Shi’s pursuit of love and happiness’ obsessions attributed to you, shouldn’t it be for me to love you?" I asked.

On careful thought, this is a question that should have been noticed earlier. Why did I only realize it now? A little analysis will reveal that it’s probably because Little Bowl emphasized from the beginning that she is an existence neither Zhu Jiu nor Zhu Shi.

Little Bowl’s self-awareness doesn’t lean towards either Zhu Jiu or Zhu Shi, which should be a fact. However, the fact may occasionally cause a deviation in one’s thoughts. The reasoning "because I am not Zhu Shi, I am beyond the target range" seems straightforward but is, in fact, untenable.

Little Bowl is not completely independent from the childhood Zhu Shi, rather, she acknowledges that she is an extension of childhood Zhu Shi, her Dream Avatar, and acknowledges her mission as a Dream Avatar, even having the childhood Zhu Shi’s obessions embedded within herself. Reaching this point, no matter how much self-awareness is discussed, she must admit that "she is the character symbolizing childhood Zhu Shi", or what do those missions have to do with her?

Therefore, she certainly has the qualification to achieve childhood Zhu Shi’s dream by gaining love and happiness for herself.

It is for this purpose that Zhu Jiu would yield her existence.

"...Brother Zhuang Cheng, I’m just such a small little girl, to talk about love and being loved all of a sudden..."

At this moment, Little Bowl instead exchanged positions with me just now, becoming evasive.

"But this is much more reasonable than having me fall in love with Zhu Shi. Zhu Shi’s romantic feelings reside in you, right?" I said, "Since you are a Dream Avatar with emphasis on a certain side, representing the lost romantic feelings and dreams of Zhu Shi, you should have the corresponding yearning.

"This has nothing to do with whether your body is that of a little girl or not, you must have that ’even if so, also wishing to love and be loved’ impulse.

"I am not saying that helping Zhu Shi is insufficient to complete your innate mission, but from the perspective of efficiency, it should be a secondary choice. I hope you can honestly tell me why you are unwilling for me to love you?"