I stared at the human before me, my surroundings forgotten.

I didn’t know if I should laugh, cry, or fight. Another Chosen Catalyst, popping out of nowhere.

“Isn’t this the second time one of ‘yer little rivals has come to you fer help? Didja ever work things out with beastboy?” Balin asked. “Want me to knock this one out ta make things easier? I don’t need an axe ta’ smack a giant in tha’ nards.”

I held up my hand in a halting gesture. “No. But I am scheduled to meet Ambassador Falith soon,” I grumbled. “And I don’t see why it always has to be me. Fine, I’ll hear you out, but keep it to five hundred words or less and if I don’t like the answer I’m leaving.”

Val gave an effeminate twitter. “You drive a rough bargain Mr. Roughtuff. Very well. My purpose here as Yearn’s representative is a bit unique from the rest of you. The Gods brought us to enact change, but I was not Chosen to enact change, but to facilitate it. There’s currently a tectonic shift in the way souls are governed in Erd, and it’s happening right below everyone’s nose. While you, Raspberrysyrup, Joseph, Marco, and Harmsson have been running about trying to fulfill your own desires, I’ve been doing my utmost to prevent the complete collapse of society as the laws underpinning reincarnation shift and buckle.”

He drew himself up proudly.

I stared. Balin stared. Val again. Kirk looked bored, like he’d heard this a dozen times before.

There was a crunching sound, and I glanced over to see Jeremiah munching on popcorn while watching us. “Don’t mind me, you bloody lunatics,” he said cheerily.

“This is entertaining to you?” I asked, my bushy eyebrows drawing together.

Jeremiah hit the bottom of his bag, frowned, then reached over and pulled mine out of my unresisting hands. “Ach. See, it’s that face you’re making there. Consternated and flummoxed. It’s pure poetry. Do you know how often I got that face when I was dealing with ‘yer bullshit back in Minnova? So don’t mind me, human. Keep doing what you were doing.”

Val curtsied. “Why thank you, kind dwarf. What you need to know, Lord Roughtuff, is that not all the monsters of the dungeons of Erd are exactly monsters anymore. With the aid of Midna, Yearn has managed to inspire sapience within a few of the monster races. The orcs of Spiral Pass and Wildfire Dungeons. The goblins of Spitfire Mountain, and Bonekeep. The kobolds of Deepcore, the Mushfolk of Greentree, and the Tender Sprites of Anima. Those are only a few of those that have awoken. I’ve spent the last few years sneaking into dungeons and observing them for a while, then doing my best to teach them about civilization.”

I really, really didn’t have the Intelligence to puzzle out all the possible ramifications of what I was hearing, so I popped off a [Flash of Insight].

Memories flooded through my mind in rapid succession. The Boss shift in Greentree, when the monsters in the dungeon had been forced to reorganize. The kobold assaults in Kinshasa, where the kobolds had broken out of the dungeon only to run off with tools and supplies. The attack by the Tender Sprites and their odd ability to handle magical items. Stories of orc movements in the south, and an increase in Dungeon Breaks and Stampedes. A certain sentient goat.

I felt a massive headache coming on. “So you’ve been, what, running around going into dungeons and talking to monsters? Like some kind of diplomat?”

“Yes. As an [Invisible Man] I have free reign of the world’s teleportation circles and I can access any dungeon I wish without a license. The [Otherworldly] aspects grant me the ability to talk with monsters and some certain diplomatic powers.”

Balin blinked. “You can talk to monsters?”

“Only some. I’ve met with a few orc tribes, a pair of goblin tribes, the mushfolk, the kobolds, and the tender sprites. Pete should be able to as well, if he tried.” Val frowned. “The mushfolk never really took

though. Maybe because they’re plants? They seem to be a dead end. And the goblins are thus far hopelessly antagonistic. But the orcs and kobolds look to be promising additions to the races of Erd. I’m headed to Hive next, to meet with the beedles.”

The full horrific implications of what Val had said were slowly dawning on me. Some of the most popular and populous dungeous were suddenly full of sentient, intelligent, civilized creatures. “So many people are going to die,” I whispered.

“That’s what I’m trying to prevent,” Val begged. “If the world governments discover it before the various tribes are fully capable of defending themselves, they may decide to wipe all the intelligent monsters out. But they have such unique cultures! So much to offer the world! We can’t let them be destroyed!”

“Do you have any idea what intelligent tribes of monsters in the dungeons could do to adventurers??” Balin growled.

“Do you have any idea what intelligent tribes of monsters in the dungeons could do to help adventurers?” Val countered. “They’re already part of the dungeon, so the heightened Mana doesn’t affect them. They can live there, and provide guides, materials, and aid in ways no ragtag groups of adventurers or an external guild ever could!”

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I put a hand on Balin’s shoulder. “Okay. Fine. Let’s assume I believe you. Why do you need me?”

Val said, a note of desperation in his voice. “Because one of the new tribes is in Cascadia. And they’re about to be wiped out.”

—

A short while later, we were wandering the alleyways of Tree near the arena looking for an out of the way place to put a door to the Liminal Inn.

“I’m not really allowed to just open a door willy-nilly,” I explained. “I have certain agreements with Awemedinand. I also don’t think the arena would be very happy about me stealing their customers.”

Val clapped me on the back. “Again, thank you so much. I assure you that you won’t regret this.”

I gave the giant a look. Which is difficult to do while craning your neck. “This had better not be some kind of scam, Val. If that’s even your real name. I’m having a friend check your story before we set a single step into the dungeon.”

Val crossed his arms across his chest and huffed. “It’s actually a common name back in my world. Since names have power, Valarienne I was back in Alfheim, and Valarienne I am here.” Val grimaced. “Pity this was the only being on this planet with a similar name. I was one of the most beautiful maidens in the realm, the Archdruidess of the church of Freyer, and the bridge between the natural and the immortal. And now I’m this hairy, itchy thing.”

“I still can’t believe it. Alfheim. As in the realm of the elves? It was real?” I didn’t know much Norse mythology, but I did know certain places from games and pop culture. Like Jotunheim, the realm of the giants, and Alfheim, home of the elves.

Valarienne nodded. “Yes. Though we were nothing like the elves in Erd. We were golden light spun into flesh.” He sighed. “I miss not having to shave the most.” He scratched at his chin and grimaced.

We found a good out-of-the-way alcove and I swung open my emergency door to Cascadia.

As we poured into the tavern, I nabbed a surprised Herder and told him to guard the door and not let anyone else in. Then I stomped over to find Aqua.

She was waitressing at the far end of the tavern, and yelped in surprise as I nabbed her and dragged her, protesting, to the Goldstone caverns.

“Weren’t you all at the game? What’s wrong?” She asked when we were finally somewhere private.

“I need you to check if this person is telling the truth.” I pointed at Val.

Aqua frowned. “You of all people know it’s possible to trick [Truespeech]. You just need to believe it, or use weasel words.”

“Sure, sure. But this is just a quick, rough check.” I pointed at Balin. “Go downstairs and get the rest of Brighstar. If we’re heading into the dungeon, especially to find a bunch of monsters, I want their help. They should be practicing with Elijah’s team in the training room. But only bring Brightstar!”

Balin ran off, and I turned to Val. “Okay. Spill it to Aqua.”

Val smiled cheekily and gave a regal bow. “Greetings fair maiden. I am the elven Archdruidess of Freryr, Valarienne Dawnsong, brought to this world by the Goddess Yearn to act as a bridge between the mortal races and the new monster races that she has created. I need Peter’s help because one of those races is in his dungeon, and they are under attack.”

Aqua threw up her hands. “You know what? I’m not even surprised if that’s all true. You’re either as barmy as Pete or just like him.”

Balin and the rest of Team Brighstar arrived at that moment, clanging and clatter and adjusting their armour and weapons.

“What’s the hurry, Pete?” Starshine asked, looking at Val with interest.

Brightstar had served as my guards in Awemedinand for over a year now, so when I snapped, “Everyone. I need you at the ready!” they immediately drew their weapons, looking confused, but deadly.

I drew my own mace and held it out. “Val, did you plan, or were you involved with, or were you responsible for the Tender Sprite attack on Tree during the Spring Ball?”

Val’s face was a picture of a stone wall.

“WHAT!?” Aqua shrieked.

“You have ten seconds…” I muttered, hefting my mace.

Everyone turned stone silent and turned to stare daggers at Val. Including Kirk – interesting.

Val’s eyes flicked around, considering. Then he deflated. “No. But I did act as a go between for the Sprites and King Ezarael. I thought things were going so well! The Sprites aren’t like most of the other monster tribes; they’re natural caretakers and an already appreciated part of Anima. They were in the middle of peace talks with King Ezrael when they told me they’d arranged a deal with him that would allow them to be recognized by the Awmedinand government. I had no knowledge of the contents of the deal, but by all the Gods I wish I had been; I would’ve done everything I could to stop it!”

“True…” Aqua whispered into the silence. “Gods.”

“Why weren’t you involved?” I asked.

Val looked ready to weep. “King Ezrael was one of the most accomplished linguists in the world. He could talk to anything, so he cut me out early in the peace talks.”

“True.” Aqua whispered.

I slowly lowered my mace, and team Brightstar followed suit.

“Pete…” Starshine muttered. “What by the horrific stench of Solen’s Stinky Socks is going on??”

I sighed. “Apparently, we’re heading into the dungeon to rescue a group of unknown monsters.”

“Not rescue, just… help move, maybe.” Val coughed, pink tinging his cheeks. “And they're not completely unknown. You’ve actually seen some of their handiwork. They’re quite taken with your maple syrup.”

Balin, Brighstar, and I shouted at the exact same instant. “The Maple Syrup bandits!!!”

*Bing!*