CHAPTER 14: CHAPTER 14: EVEN AT THE EDGE OF DEATH

The tires screeched. The wheel jerked. The world flipped. Metal crashed against metal, and shattered glass rained down like cruel stars. The sound was deafening. My body jolted, slammed, and twisted until everything went still.

For a moment, I thought, this is it. I really thought I was going to die. And a part of me wasn’t even afraid. A part of me thought maybe that would be easier... than surviving this heartbreak.

When I woke up days later, I was in the hospital bandaged, sore, and shattered in more ways than one.

Every breath sent a dull ache through my ribs, but the real pain wasn’t physical. It was the weight inside me, the hollowness that settled in my chest like a storm that refused to pass.

My mother sat by my bedside, her face pale and streaked with dried tears. My father stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed tightly, eyes shadowed with words he couldn’t or wouldn’t say.

Mom tried to smile through the pain, brushing the hair off my forehead as she offered me water she held up to my lips.I opened my mouth to drink, I could see both were trying not be weak. And that broke me even more.

The doctor walked in shortly after, clipboard in hand. He spoke calmly, kindly, mostly to my parents.

"There’s no internal bleeding, and the scans look clean," he said gently. "The bruises will heal, and your child will recover physically with rest. It’s a miracle the injuries weren’t more severe. Just give them time. The most important thing right now is support and emotional stability."

Emotional stability? I wanted to laugh. Or scream. I didn’t even want to exist.

After the doctor left, Chrisly walked in. My father had already gone, probably unable to bear the sight of me like this. I expected nothing warm from Chrisly, and of course, he didn’t disappoint.

He stood at the foot of the bed, arms folded. "Good thing you woke up," he said with a smirk. "Not because I care. But Mom’s been crying for two damn days. Can’t stand to see her like that."

"Two days?" I blinked at him.

"Yeah. You’ve been out cold for two days," he replied casually. "Like I said, good thing you woke up. Not for me. I honestly wouldn’t have felt much if you hadn’t. But I didn’t want to see Mom break down like that again."

I knew Chrisly didn’t like me. We’d never been close. But I also knew, deep down, he didn’t want me dead either. As cold as his words were, I could hear the truth beneath them, he must’ve been scared too. Maybe he even cried when he first heard. He’d never admit it, though. Not in a million years.

After a while, when the room grew quiet again, I glanced at the clock. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing from Nicki.

He had to have heard about the accident. Right? News like that travels fast, especially among people who claim to care. So why wasn’t he here? Why hadn’t he called? Not even a message. Nothing. The silence was louder than any crash.

Then my mom said she was going home to freshen up, and Chrisly offered to stay behind. After she left, a few minutes later, Chrisly said he needed to grab something and stepped out.

Alone, with my heart pounding in a terrible rhythm, I reached for my phone. My fingers trembled as I dialled Nicki’s number. I didn’t know what I was hoping for, maybe his voice, some concern, a sign that he cared.

He picked up after two rings. "Hello?"

I swallowed hard, my voice barely audible. "Nicki... I was in an accident. I almost died."

Silence.

Long, cold silence.

Then he spoke. His voice was sharp and emotionless. "Don’t call me again. Ever."

The line went dead.

And so did a part of me.

I stared at the screen, blinking back the sting in my eyes. I couldn’t understand it. Why was he so cold? He cheated on me, and I still begged him to stay. I forgave him, even when I shouldn’t have. I was willing to do anything everything to make it work.

Even now, when I could’ve died, he still didn’t care.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

My chest tightened, and before I knew it, the sobs tore out of me like a storm that had been caged too long. I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. The pain of the crash didn’t even compare to this.

Chrisly walked back in and froze at the doorway. I expected him to mock me or leave me to cry alone, but instead, for the first time ever, he stepped closer.

He sat down beside me and pulled me into a hug awkward, unsure, but real. "Let it out," he whispered. "It’s okay. Just cry it out. You’ll be fine."

And I did. I cried into his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his shirt like I was drowning, and he was the only thing holding me above water. I cried until I couldn’t anymore.

At some point, my temperature spiked. I could hear Chrisly calling for the nurse, his voice tight with panic. I felt the cool touch of hands on my forehead, heard the shuffle of feet, and then, nothing.

They gave me something. I don’t know what. But sleep took over quickly. Even in that sleep, the pain followed me, deep, aching, unrelenting.

Because Nicki wasn’t just a guy I loved.

He was everything I ever wanted in a partner.

And he left me like I meant nothing.

When I woke up again, Nuala was already sitting beside me. Her face was red, eyes swollen like she’d been crying for hours. Chrisly sat on the chair by the window, pressing his phone like he couldn’t care less.

The moment I stirred, Nuala leaned in. "Brother... are you okay?"

I shook my head slowly. "No... I’m not okay." My voice cracked. I didn’t even realize tears were already streaming down my face again.

I spoke to her softly, my voice trembling "Nicki... he broke my heart, Nuala. I did nothing to him."

I looked at Nuala, my chest tightening with every word. "I’ve tried to think, over and over, what I could have possibly done to make him treat me like this. But there’s nothing, Nuala. Nothing makes sense."

I swallowed hard, my voice cracking. "You know how much I loved him. I talked to you about him all the time. I believed in him... in us."

My eyes burned. "I know Nicki loved me too. I felt it. I saw it. There has to be something that went wrong... something I missed. But I don’t know where I wronged him."

She reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. "It’s okay," she whispered. "You’ll get through this. You’ll find someone who truly deserves you."

Chrisly didn’t even look up. "He said I’m not pitying you or anything, but damn... stop crying," he muttered. "You’re watering the hospital bed and your sobbing is disturbing my ears."

I turned to him, too drained to be angry. I knew Chrisly. He never showed affection the normal way, but deep down, I knew he cared. He just... sucked at showing it.

Nuala glared at him. "If you have nothing good to say, then just shut up. Or at least say it properly."

They started bickering quietly beside me, but I couldn’t focus on them. My thoughts were still wrapped around Nicki. My heart still ached in places pain hadn’t reached before. Then, without another word, Nuala leaned in and hugged me gently.

I spent weeks in the hospital. Every single day, I hoped Nicki would walk through the door. But he never did.

He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was the only friend I had. The only person I trusted with every part of me.

The day I was finally discharged, Nuala helped pack my things. My mom was waiting to take me home. She was the one who nursed me back to strength, along with Nuala. Chrisly also showed up now and then, mostly to piss me off, stepping on my toes with his bluntness, but I was still glad he was there. He was my only brother, after all.

When I got home, everything felt... off.

My dad wouldn’t look at me for long. If I was asleep in my room, I’d sometimes wake to find him sitting there, just quietly watching me. But the moment I opened my eyes, he would stand up without a word and leave. I didn’t know why he was like that or maybe I just didn’t have the strength to ask.

My sister would come in sometimes, sit beside me and try to talk. I’d listen, maybe nod, maybe not. I appreciated her being there, but I couldn’t bring myself to say much. Most days, I just stayed in my room, buried under my blanket, alone with my thoughts.

Days passed.

I kept trying to call Nicki, but he wouldn’t pick up anymore.

Weeks turned to a month.

And when I finally felt strong enough, I went back to school, hoping I could at least see him. Talk to him. Understand why.

And that was the day I regretted ever meeting Nicki.