[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice
Chapter 69: The Fight That Healed Us
CHAPTER 69: CHAPTER 69: THE FIGHT THAT HEALED US
The words hit me harder than the smoke ever could.
For the first time, I felt something I couldn’t name, fear, maybe, or the realization that there were parts of him I didn’t know at all.
"Worse?" I echoed, my voice unsteady.
He gave a short, humorless laugh and took another drag. "Yeah. Worse. But you don’t care, do you? You’re too busy texting someone else to notice."
"What do you mean?" I asked, uneasy.
He gave a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "What do I mean? You don’t get it, do you, Zayn? You sit there texting some girl right in front of me, letting the sound of those damn notifications fill the room like I don’t even exist. And you ask me what I mean?"
My chest tightened. I opened my mouth to speak, but he didn’t let me.
"I watch you nod at her like she means something, while I stand beside you holding myself back. Do you know what that feels like? To want someone so much and see them choose distractions instead of you?" His voice cracked, not with weakness but with anger buried too long.
"Evric..."
"No, let me finish!" he snapped, slamming the glass so hard it rattled against the table. "You think I’m patient? You think I’m calm? No. I’m jealous, Zayn. Every damn time someone else gets your attention, I feel like I’m losing a part of you I never even got to have fully. You can’t even look at me the way you look at your phone when she texts you."
Then silence pressed down on the room. He dragged another breath from the smoke, his hand shaking.
"You ask if I smoke? I do worse," Evric said hoarsely, his gaze finally locking on mine. His voice was raw, almost breaking. "I’m burning myself alive with feelings you don’t even see."
I stared at him, my chest tensed, but I forced myself to keep my tone sharp. "Good... since you want to burn your feelings with smoke, that’s perfect. Just make sure you don’t burn your house down with it."
Turning away, I muttered, "I’ll head upstairs, change my clothes, and go back to my house."
I left him there, the weight of his words pressing on me, and went upstairs. I was halfway through buttoning my shirt when the door suddenly shut behind me. Evric stood there, calm but dangerous, his hand still on the knob as he locked it.
"Where are you going?" His voice was low, too calm, which only made it more unsettling.
I turned to face him. "I told you, I’m going back to my house."
He smiled then, but it wasn’t a soft smile. It was the kind of smile that carried possession, the kind that reminded me exactly who he was.
"Zayn," he murmured, stepping closer, "you can only step outside this house if I allow it. Did you forget that?"
My fists coiled at my sides. "Who cares," I snapped. "I’m leaving here..."
Evric walked closer, his eyes burning into mine. "Can’t you let me feel you’re also scared of losing me, just once?" he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Show me love... I want to know how big my love is in your heart."
I exhaled sharply, fighting the sting in his words. "Don’t bring that tone right now, Evric. Don’t bring that voice of yours here. You were angry just now, weren’t you?"
He caught himself, no, I wasn’t angry. I was jealous.
"Zayn..." he called my name softly, almost trembling. "You know why I still get scared like this when you’re with a woman. You should know better."
I turned to face him, my voice steady but edged with hurt. "You have to stop that way of thinking. Just because you know I was with women in the past doesn’t mean I’ll go back there."
His jaw clenched, but I pushed on. "You could’ve just asked me nicely... ’Who is she?’ But no, you don’t. Every time, you jump straight into jealousy. Every time you see me with a woman, it’s like you forget everything."
I took a breath, frustration surging through me. "Do you even remember the kind of work I do? I own a restaurant. A lot of women come in to eat. Are you saying I should send them away, or not attend to them, just because I want to be with you?"
Evric’s lips parted, but no words came out at first. He just stood there, staring at me as if every breath I took was a threat to him.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low and breaking. "You think it’s easy for me? To see you smile at them? To watch them lean close, touch your hand, laugh at your words? Do you know what that does to me, Zayn?"
I shook my head, anger pushing against the ache in my chest. "That’s not my fault. That’s your fear, Evric. You put those thoughts in your head."
He stepped closer, until his breath brushed my skin. "Because I love you that much. Because losing you is the only thing I can’t survive."
My heart stuttered, but I clenched my fists tighter. "Then love me in a way that doesn’t chain me down. Love me in a way that trusts me, not breaks me."
For a moment, silence stretched between us, heavy, suffocating. Then Evric’s hand reached up, trembling slightly, and rested against my jaw. His eyes glistened with something raw and unguarded.
"Teach me, then," he whispered. "Teach me how to love you right, because all I know is this madness inside me whenever you’re not mine alone."
His words hit me like a weight. My anger wavered, my chest tightening. I swallowed hard, torn between pushing him away and pulling him close.
"Evric..." I whispered, but I didn’t know what else to say.
He searched my face, his thumb brushing the corner of my jaw. "I’m not asking you to stop being who you are, Zayn. I’m just... I’m terrified. I can’t stand the thought of you choosing someone else over me. Every time I see you with them, it feels like my heart is being ripped apart."
I closed my eyes, a sigh escaping me. His honesty, raw and unpolished, chipped away at my defenses.
"You don’t need to fight me to prove you love me," I murmured, opening my eyes again. "I chose you already. Isn’t that enough?"
Evric’s jaw tightened. Babe, it’s not enough... because you know things weren’t that cool between us. You asked for time, to come around back to me. All of this, everything we’ve been through, terrifies me.
I held his gaze, steady. "Okay, fine. But after I asked for time, or even distance... did I leave you? Did I ever separate myself from you?"
His lips pressed into a thin line as he shook his head.
"Then stop being afraid I’ll leave, Evric. I’m right here."
He looked at me, eyes softened by the weight of my words. I let out a small, wry smile. "But hey, good thing we had this fight... at least now I know you smoke."
His expression flickered with guilt. You make me go back to it, Zayn. I had stopped smoking for a while.
That hit deeper than I wanted to admit. "What else are you doing that I don’t know about?"
His voice lowered. I’ve stopped doing every other thing too.
I leaned closer, making sure he heard the seriousness in my tone. "Evric... if there’s anything you’re doing, anything you know is bad, tell me. Don’t hide it. Because if I ever find out you’ve done something behind my back again, just like tonight..." I touched his chest firmly. "I’ll fight you harder for it. Is that clear?"
He nodded, eyes dropping. Yes, baby.
For a moment, silence stretched between us, heavy but calmer than before. Then he leaned in, slow and careful, as though one wrong move would shatter the fragile peace we’d found. His lips brushed mine, tentative at first.
I didn’t pull away.
Our mouths met fully, and the kiss wasn’t fiery or desperate, it was grounding. It was all the apologies, all the promises we hadn’t spoken out loud. His arms circled me, strong yet trembling, and I sank against him, breathing him in.
When we finally parted, I rested my forehead against his. My voice was soft but firm. "This... this is how you keep me. Not with chains, not with jealousy. With this."
His smile was soft, but it reached his eyes.
He kissed me once more, then took my hand and guided it down, pressing it against the hardness straining inside him. His eyes searched mine, hopeful, pleading.
I smirked and whispered, "No, we’re not doing it."
He nodded without argument, still smiling despite the rejection, and turned toward the bathroom. His shoulders hunched as though he was trying to swallow the ache of holding himself back.
"Evric."
He stopped. Slowly, he turned, uncertainty flashing in his eyes.
"I’ll allow you," I said, my voice steady. "Once."
The change in him was instant. His face lit up, his eyes glowing like someone who’d been given the very thing he’d dreamed of. Once is more than enough, baby, he said, breathless with relief.
In seconds, he was back in front of me, kissing me with urgency and joy. Hands trembling, he undressed me carefully, piece by piece, as though each layer was a gift he didn’t deserve to unwrap. His clothes fell away with less patience, his need too great to hide.
When we were bare before each other, he kissed me again, long, deep, reverent, before guiding me toward the chair beside the table. He sat down, his hard cock standing proud between us.
"Baby," he said in a husky voice, "you’re riding on me tonight. That’s how I can have all of you at once."
Heat rushed through me. I nodded, breathless, and slowly swung my leg over him, straddling his lap.