CHAPTER 230: CHAPTER 229: DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE

Chapter 229: Different Kind of Love

After Gu Yijin finished his private conversation with his parents, he called the two and introduced them as his friends. Both Han Suwen and Qin An bowed and offered respects before they left and just slowly walked around the large cemetery.

There was only silence between them but unlike in the past, there was no awkwardness amidst and their expressions just remained calm and relaxed.

It was not until Qin An himself broke it and spoke.

"I’m still confused," said the young man with a hesitant face. "Why does every time I almost understand something, it will be changed again after looking at others?" he asked.

Truthfully, Qin An had seen different circumstances now between families.

He had seen others being happy together with their family members while some had unfortunate fate like these two.

Qin An understands that there will always be like this.

But what he cannot comprehend is what really ’love’ means?

He meant like he thought that love was like when He Yan and his mother caring gently for each other, or the patience and responsibilities that Nan Moyi put towards his siblings, maybe like Yao Jiali’s sacrifice for Han Suwen’s future, maybe like how Gu Yijin’s parents do?

There had been many situations that happened in front of him that he couldn’t understand, especially for Gu Yijin actually.

If his parents really love him... then why do they choose to leave and sacrifice themselves to the war even knowing that their son will be left alone and helpless? Rather, why choose the world over your own family members?

He doesn’t mean to put discord about these thoughts but based on everyone’s situation, it seems that everyone has been doing things for their family. Be it how Nan Moyi took care of his siblings or how Yao Jiali sacrificed her eyes for her son. Then, does that mean that Gu Yijin’s parents put more love to the country than himself?

Then whom did his parents love more?

After hearing Qin An’s thoughts, Gu Yijin went silent for a few seconds before sighing a bit.

"I’ll be honest here," he confessed while looking at the green grass on the ground. "I resented a lot when I was a kid. Just like you, I couldn’t understand their choice. Was being a soldier really that important that they could just leave me behind? I remember beggingly asking them if maybe just one member could go out there so someone will be left behind for me. I was scared so I asked them... but my parents got disappointed."

Gu Yijin looked a bit dazed while remembering that time.

In such desperation and fear of loneliness, he actually dared to say that. Gu Yijin can still remember the shock and disappointment from his parents when he asked them to do that. He really couldn’t understand and felt that they didn’t love him enough more than the country.

Everyday when his parents are away, his little past would always resent the world for pulling away his parents’ time for him, what’s more when it was their life was at cost? He resented the world for taking them away permanently.

"But I just realized that it was just a selfish thought." He chuckles bitterly. "Before I came, their world was the world itself."

Qin An was stunned by his words.

"What would happen if I succeeded in stopping them? Will I always watch them regret not protecting the world which they oathed for the rest of their lives? Will I always watch them grief in pain upon seeing how many deaths were sacrificed? Qin An, being a soldier means devoting their own lives to the world, no matter what life you have at present." Gu Yijin faced him with solemnity.

"I don’t dare to see them in the worst state,"

"Even if it means losing them?" Qin An asked softly.

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. "It’s just how Nan Moyi sacrificed his dreams to take care of his family and how Aunt gave up her eyes for Suwen. It’s just in different situations but all are the same— with love."

Han Suwen nodded and patted Qin An’s shoulder. "Anan, there are many ways on how to express love. That’s just how they showed it. However, everyone has the same reasons for doing so. Don’t you do something in your life too for the sake of others? Even if it’s not for your blood relationship, as long as it means sacrificing for them or just doing something to make them happy, that’s a form of love already."

Qin An didn’t know what to say.

Han Suwen chuckles. "Why are you so worried? Don’t make things so complicated. Love is love. Whatever reasons you think of it, as long as it delivers warmth from your heart, it is what it is."

"... really?" he whispered.

Was this just like how he chose to be a grim reaper? Was his choice back then a means of love like they say? Was his choice called a sacrifice because of love?

Qin An just didn’t want to see He Yan and others being burdened by the resentment again, especially when he saw their silent pain everyday.

That drove him to accept the job again.

... was that love?

If that is so... he just thought, what about the others?

Do they love him too?

Was he important too?

Qin An lowered his eyes silently with his deep thoughts and didn’t notice the concerned gaze from the two.

Gu Yijin and Han Suwen looked at each other and both sighed silently.

*****

When they arrived back at the training camp building, Director Qian immediately called Qin An for the surprise live broadcast for his fans exclusively.

They had already gathered fans that are real supporters for the young man and just told them about a meeting about Qin An. They didn’t state the reasons but since they are fans, those netizens didn’t doubt and promised to attend the meeting.

"Are you ready?" Qian Jin asked. The young man just nodded so they quickly left the room and entered the start of broadcasting.

This kind of private live broadcast is very different from the ancient past where they could only watch through the screen and communicate through pushing comments and such. In this era, everyone can virtually meet as if they are really in front of you personally. In addition, with the help of the five-senses technology, it was more realistic than ever.

For this meeting, the company only prepared at least 50 personal fans to meet Qin An. These netizens quickly entered the private live meeting and was stunned in bewilderment when they saw the familiar figure sitting in front of them.

"!!!"

Qin An?

Wait— Qin An?!

Gasps of excitement and shock filled the entire virtual room as they stared at the young man. Is this even true?!

Qin An also stiffened when his eyes met numerous pairs of eyes looking at him intently but force himself to stay calm and greeted them instead first.

"Good evening," he greeted.

"!!!!"

"S-Shit!"

"Oh dammit!"

A series of curses quickly engulfed the room when they heard that voice and came back to their senses upon realizing what was happening.

The fans squealed in delight as they felt like sitting in needles because they couldn’t sit properly due to extreme excitement and happiness all of the sudden.

"Qin An, is this really you?!"

The young man nodded. "Yes,"

"Ahhh!" A young girl screamed in joy. Her face turned red as she looked mesmerized by the good-looking appearance of the young man.

"Anan, it’s really you!"

"Omy!I’m so glad that I came tonight!"

"Cub! Cub! The day has finally come!"

The fans also knew the young man’s personality so they forced themselves to calm down. This private life is obviously just a short meeting so they wasted no time and arranged for everyone to speak fast to him. If dean’t matter if Qin An will respond but they just wanted to say what’s on their hearts and cheer for him.

"Anan, I’m really glad to meet you! I’ve been a fan since day one and I’m also one of the fans who voted for you as always to show support. You had been doing super great, Anan! You can definitely debut!"

"Cub, how are you doing? Please remember to take a rest. Eat properly and drink water in between the practice. I know you’re very tired from all the work. Don’t worry too much and just do what you want without regrets because we are here."

"Qin An, you’ve been my greatest motivation these days. I really like how you grew inside the competition and I’m so happy seeing your smiles. I’m glad that I know you! Please always be well!"

"Anan, I really really like you. I hope to see you more on stage. We’ll be waiting for your debut soon and don’t worry because we will be there. Anan, you have to remember to do what you want for yourself to be happy, okay? It’s a must!"

Cheers and motivational short messages suddenly came towards Qin An and he was left stunned. He stayed sitting as he listened to the various encouragement from the fans.

He could see their smiles and the genuine concern and admiration in their eyes as they looked at him.

It feels surprisingly warm and it sends a feeling of gentle caress inside his heart, making him feel its loud beating.

Qin An remembered how Qian in and others said that there were many people who wanted to meet him because they simply liked him. Without any complicated reasons, they just love him.

And hearing their concerns and efforts for him to stay in this competition, Qin An just knew starting from that moment;

Of how beautiful the love they gave for someone like him.

*****