BLEACH: UNOHANA RETSU IS MY WIFE
Chapter 78 CHAPTER 78
The 11th Division's barracks...
Though calling it a "barracks" was generous—it resembled more of a ruined swordsmanship dojo.
Aside from the massive "swordsmanship dojo," the rest of the area had been completely razed by the construction crew. This crew had been dispatched by the Shihōin family, while the funding came from the Ōmaeda family. According to Chihiro, the money was "tuition" for Araki's children's education...
What's more, several of the surrounding streets were purchased by the Ōmaeda family and gifted to Araki as a welcome present for joining the 11th Division. This made Araki curse inwardly:
"A bunch of rich bastards..."
Inside the dojo, Araki faced off against the young Shihōin Yoruichi.
"I haven't acknowledged you yet!"
The radish-headed Yoruichi declared arrogantly, arms folded across her flat chest.
"Doesn't matter. I don't acknowledge you either."
Araki, never one to take a loss, shot back immediately.
"If you want me to acknowledge you, beat me first!"
Yoruichi challenged, noting Araki's calm demeanor.
"No need. I'm not interested in your acknowledgment."
"Once the Heavenly Pillar Chariot descends from the sky, I'll send you off myself."
Araki waved casually, clearly looking forward to parting ways with the child who had already worn out his patience.
"Take this!"
But Yoruichi wasn't done yet. With lightning-fast movement, she blurred into a pitch-black shadow and lunged at Araki.
"That speed… Not bad for a child of the Shihōin family."
Araki praised her calmly, though his expression remained unchanged.
Yoruichi's speed was indeed impressive—for her age.
"Of course! Watch out!"
With that shout, Yoruichi split into four afterimages, attacking Araki from four directions at once.
Swish! Swish! Swish!
Araki, facing all four afterimages, calmly drew the scabbard of Ruriko and slashed through three of them without effort.
"Here!"
Yoruichi's real body had circled behind him.
"Got you!"
She grinned, driving her tiny fist toward the back of Araki's head.
Buzz!
But just as her fist made contact, Araki vanished—replaced by a broom.
"Huh?!"
Yoruichi stood frozen, holding the broom, completely bewildered. Araki had vanished from sight.
"Looking for someone?"
A cold breath brushed against the back of her neck. A strong hand seized her—Araki was already behind her.
Despite not being skilled in Shunpo, Araki was a master of Teleportation.
"When did you get behind me?!"
Yoruichi was stunned. It made no sense.
In high-speed combat, whether Shinigami Shunpo or Quincy Hirenkyaku, every step generates spiritual pressure. True masters detect those shifts instinctively.
Even among experts, sneaking up with Shunpo alone was nearly impossible.
That's what left Yoruichi so shocked—Araki had evaded all spiritual pressure detection entirely.
"You don't know?"
Araki asked dryly, expression blank, as if teasing a child.
"I want to learn this!"
Yoruichi's eyes lit up. She puffed her cheeks and stared at Araki, trying to act cute enough to win him over.
"You've tried so hard..."
"But unfortunately, this isn't something you can learn."
Araki shook his head. He wasn't being mean—he was just telling the truth.
"Flaw!"
Suddenly, Yoruichi shouted and flicked a dart at Araki from point-blank range.
The dart flew like a bullet, its speed amplified by their close distance. It raced straight for Araki's face—
Clang.
Araki raised two fingers and caught it mid-flight with ease.
No matter how much Yoruichi willed that dart forward—just one centimeter more, just one graze—it didn't budge. Even a millimeter was wishful thinking.
Snap.
Araki applied the slightest pressure. The dart cracked with a soft metallic sound and broke in two, the pieces falling at Yoruichi's feet.
He glanced at her.
A naughty child like her definitely needed discipline—
"Now's my chance!"
"Secret Footwork: Shifū Part Three—Utsukane!"
Before Araki could speak, Yoruichi shouted again. In a flash, she slipped from Araki's grasp like a slick loach, leaving only a thin black nightgown behind.
"Huh?!"
Araki frowned, glancing at the cloth in his hand.
Looking up, he saw Yoruichi standing a few meters away, her chest puffed out in victory, arms akimbo. She grinned with pride.
"Hahaha!"
"See that, Araki?!"
"This is my true escape route!"
Yoruichi laughed wildly.
Even Araki—known as Kenpachi—couldn't catch her! Shihoin Yoruichi was the fastest woman in the Shihoin clan!
"Buzz!"
Araki activated his power once more. Yoruichi, still laughing uncontrollably, suddenly reappeared before Araki—her nightgown fluttering to the ground where she once stood.
"Ha... ha..."
Yoruichi looked at Araki, who now stood mere inches away. The corners of her mouth twitched. She could no longer laugh.
"So, is taking off your clothes your new habit now?"
Araki, unfazed, tucked the little carrot under his armpit and used his free hand to smack Yoruichi on the backside.
"Pa! Pa! Pa!"
At that moment, Araki resembled an exasperated father—disciplining his unruly daughter with a twisted sense of "love."
"Wuwuwu..."
Yoruichi endured the first two strikes, but by the third, her eyes were brimming with tears, her voice cracking.
"I'll teach you a lesson! I'll teach you a lesson!"
Araki shouted furiously, smacking her one last time with spiritual pressure-laced discipline.
"Master Araki! I was wrong! Wuwuwu..."
Yoruichi could take no more and finally begged for mercy.
"Are you going to keep throwing off your clothes again?!"
Araki demanded sternly.
"No!"
Yoruichi looked utterly defeated. She had only wanted to drop her outer layer to escape, but Araki's power was too overwhelming. If she didn't remove everything, there'd be no way to slip away.
"Put your clothes back on."
Araki, hearing her admission, casually tossed her near the nightgown with a backhand flick.
"Hmph."
Yoruichi wiped her tears and put the nightgown back on, wearing an expression full of grievance.
She felt wronged too! After all, this was how the elders of the Shihoin family had taught her—this was the "secret technique" of Taijutsu refined over generations!
"Sigh…"
Araki looked at the sulking Yoruichi, then at the rapidly expanding 11th Division barracks. He exhaled heavily.
He never imagined he'd be bribed, but it wasn't his fault. The Shihoin family had given him far too much…
"Let's go. I'll take you somewhere nice…"
Araki beckoned, gesturing for Yoruichi to follow.
"Where are we going?"
Yoruichi asked cautiously. She had developed a fear of Araki—now asking about everything he did in case he tried to sell her off.
After all, Shihoin Yoruichi was incredibly adorable.
"A place where you can improve your Shunpo. Come with me?"
Araki asked with a rare, gentle smile.
"A place to improve my Shunpo?! Of course!!"
Yoruichi's large eyes lit up, nodding eagerly in anticipation.
"Good."
Araki turned and whispered to the two who stood by the gate.
"Relative, come with us. Saitō, you stay and guard the house."
"Okay,"
Retsu replied with a soft smile.
"Huh?! I'm on guard duty again?!"
Saitō was furious at being left behind—especially now that Yoruichi had joined the division.
"Damn it! Not only did she copy my personality, she even copied my figure…"
Saitō glared at Yoruichi, her eyes full of hostility. She felt all her "advantages" had been stolen by this little menace.
But at least someone younger than her had finally appeared in the squad…
Of course, if Araki could hear what Saitō was thinking right now, he'd probably comfort her:
"Don't worry, Saitō! Yoruichi will grow up one day—you'll always be the youngest!"
Ahem...
"As for the rest of you—don't slack off just because the barracks are under renovation!"
"Starting today, assemble at the 'White Path Gate' every morning at 8. From there, run to the 'Blue Flow Gate' before sundown. And no using Shunpo!"
Araki's cold voice resounded across the dojo—aimed at the 11th Division soldiers who had been secretly watching his sparring session with Yoruichi through the windows. Of course, when Yoruichi had used the Three Steps of the Shihoin, Araki's spiritual pressure blocked their vision entirely.
"What?! No Shunpo?!"
The 11th Division members were speechless. They deeply regretted spying. But deep down, they also understood—
If they had to fight someone like Yoruichi Shihoin… would their Shunpo even stand a chance?
They murmured among themselves,
"So this is a child of the Five Great Noble Houses… terrifying."
"Araki, where am I going?"
Unohana asked quietly, having stepped outside the 11th Division.
Sayoichi also looked up, curious.
"We're heading to the 4th Division. Gotta find a certain 'airplane-head.'"
Araki replied with a knowing smirk.
4th Division (Medical Corps).
Ever since Yamamoto Genryūsai appointed Kirinji Tenjirō as the new 4th Division captain, the Medical Division had finally begun to resemble its future legacy!
At least now, when someone was injured, the 4th Division no longer left them to die in bed—they actually applied scientific bandages and used Kaidō healing techniques.
"Strange… did I offend someone? Why is my eyelid twitching?"
Kirinji muttered to himself, confused as his right eyelid spasmed uncontrollably…
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