CHAPTER 443: (SPECIAL CHAPTER) CELESTE’S FIRST HALLOWEEN

- Holiday Chapter. Warning: Unprecedented levels of coonery ahead. Reader discretion advised so feel free to skip!

-

Some time before Malachi officially became a demon, the family was dealing with some very different kinds of terrors...

"Boo!"

Celeste smiled amusedly at the poorly designed ghost staring back at her from the screen of her tablet.

"Very funny, dear. You almost gave your old mom a heart attack."

"Really??"

"Of course not. You look like the guy from Django whose wife was bad at cutting holes in the bags."

Melanie abruptly pulled off the sheet covering her face. A small pout could be seen on her lips. "At least I bothered to put on a costume. What’s your excuse?"

Celeste wanted to say that she didn’t see how poorly cutting holes in a bedsheet was a costume, but she decided to let her daughter have it for the time being.

"You know Halloween is not really my thing. You didn’t even like it when you were a kid; we just stayed home and ate candy on the sofa every year."

"Well, yeah, but I’ve gotten a little more into it since I moved down here. My sister-in-law kind of makes it a big thing and drags the whole house into it. You should also try and enjoy it more."

Celeste shrugged, indifferent. "I’m just not interested, I guess. I honestly feel kind of bad because the kids seem really excited about everything. I guess that’s because this is the first year they’ll be able to actually go out."

"See? You should get excited and enjoy it with them then. You don’t want to be a bad new mom, do you?"

Celeste rolled her eyes. "I am not a bad mom; the girls understand my lack of enthusiasm. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be the only one staying in."

She turned the camera to the side so that she could show Joanne’s sleeping face.

"Tell her, hon. We’re going to sit right here and watch cheap slasher flicks while we nibble on candy we were supposed to give out to other kids."

Celeste noticed Joanne was sleeping a fair bit harder than usual. She gave her a harder nudge to wake her.

When Joanne rolled over, Celeste could see a large red spot in the center of her chest and a knife sticking out of her shirt.

"...."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I will remind you that I was an ER nurse for fifteen years. I know the difference between blood and food coloring."

"God damn it..."

Joanne groaned in frustration as she pulled a knife out of her shirt. "What gave me away?"

"Aside from the fact that there’s no way I wouldn’t be able to smell that amount of blood? You got into bed with your bra still on."

Joanne looked down at her chest with a slightly taken aback look.

"...Huh. Yeah, I guess that would be a bit of a giveaway."

True to form, Joanne proceeded to pull off her shirt and bra and flung them across the room.

"Well... seems like you’ve got your plans, mom, so I think I’m just gonna go now..." Melanie looked away awkwardly.

"O-Okay, I love you! I WANT GRANDBABIES!" Celeste yelled at the screen.

Melanie hung up before she could hear her mother’s rather unfounded request. Though it hardly mattered, since Celeste was just going to text her what she wanted anyway.

"What happened to you not having an interest in Halloween? I thought we were sticking with our plans to stay in?" She asked.

Joanne lay horizontally in the bed, her head resting in her hand and a look of amusement on her face.

"I don’t care much about going out for candy and stuff, but I wasn’t going to miss the chance to scare you just a little bit. It’s the only part of the holiday I enjoy."

Celeste rolled her eyes. "Why am I not surprised that you’re the type who enjoys frightening people for no reason?"

"We’re deepening our relationship and you’re starting understand my personality. I think it’s a good thing."

"Not necessarily what I was asking, but I guess you’re a little bit correct... Even if I’m developing some slight concerns about your personality."

"Take it up with god because you aren’t going anywhere."

"Did you steal that from Bianca?"

"What can I say, she rubs off on me." Joanne shrugged.

Celeste’s cheeks turned a little bit red as Jo shuffled closer and wrapped her in one of her wings.

"So, what are we watching?"

"I saw this old movie called Terrifier that I thought might be-"

Suddenly, there was a series of knocks at the door and two small voices coming one after the other.

"Wake up, wake up!"

"We want to show you our costumes!"

Joanne slowly blinked away her surprise.

"Wow, they really must be excited... they actually bothered to knock."

Joanne held out her hand for the T-shirt she had thrown aside earlier and pulled it back over her head.

"Come i-"

The door flew open with a bang and their two little girls rushed inside.

...Or rather, their two little old men.

Both girls were dressed in bald caps and plushies underneath their clothes to simulate beer bellies.

Cami wore a green sweater and glasses while Shiro wore a red button-down and had a bit ok makeup over her left eye. She even had tufts of facial hair.

Joanne covered her mouth, unsure if she should laugh. "What’s all this..?"

"Wait, mommy, you’re going to miss the best part!"

Suddenly, Malachi and Bianca stepped in. Both of them were also fully in the Halloween spirit.

Bianca had braided her hair down in neat golden cornrows. She wore a simple wife-beater with blue jeans that were a few sizes too big. Her feet were adorned in Timberland boots.

Malachi had also put in a bit of effort into his costume. Even going as far as to unbind his hair and create an afro so large that it obscured half his face.

His actual costume was just a short-sleeved button-down with baggy jeans and boots similar to Bianca’s.

"What do you think?? Ain’t we cute?" Bianca beamed.

Celeste was baffled. "You’re supposed to be...?"

"Huey and Riley! Can’t you tell?"

"I can." Joanne chuckled. "Though I’m not sure why you dressed our children up like Grandad and..." Joanne’s gaze lingered on Shiro.

"I’m Uncle Ruckus!"

"Christ."

"For the record, this was the kids’ idea." Malachi informed.

"That’s concerning on a number of levels."

"Not really. They just wanted to do a group costume cause Serana put the idea in their heads." Bianca shrugged.

"And Serana is..?"

"Using Luna and Nadine to pick out a different kind of ’couples’ costume that her partners will like... not even bridal shops have that much lace." She shuddered.

"Well let me get a picture of my little Boondocks characters!"

Joanne seemed oddly excited about her family’s costumes for some reason. Bianca couldn’t resist.

"The Fundraiser don’t take pictures. That’s how 5-0 start building cases around you!"

"The Fundraiser better stay still or I’m not putting my lips on her for the next two months."

"S-So do you want us to pose, or just smile, or...?"

Suddenly, Anna walked in wearing a black t-shirt that said ’costume’ and eating a bowl of potato chips.

Anna had more or less mellowed out towards Halloween.

It used to be her absolute favorite holiday, but after spending most of her teen years spending the holiday in ways even adults wouldn’t consider, she had more or less mellowed out.

Now, she was pretty content to just take her kids out and watch Halloween TV specials until early morning.

"Hey, it turned out great! You guys actually look like the real deal."

Anna quickly focused on Malachi and zoomed in on him like a predator.

"Especially you. I’ve never seen your hair like this before."

Anna stuck her fingers into Mal’s hair and let out a contented sigh.

"So soft...! You’re like my handsome little Chia Pet."

Malachi had no idea how to respond to that.

Camille suddenly fished out an iPod and began playing a very infamous trombone track. The group was baffled when Shiro spoke again and her voice sounded exactly like the same as the infamous TV character.

"Of course his hair is soft. All you chunky cheeked monkeys know is basketball and haircare."

Celeste was the only person in the room who had no idea where the group’s costumes had come from, and was instantly horrified.

"S-Shiro! Why would you say something like that?! How are you sounding like that?!"

Had Celeste remembered for a moment that Shiro was a kitsune, she would have realized this level of trickery was child’s play for her.

*in her Uncle Ruckus voice* "I’m just sharing some of Ronald Reagan’s infinite wisdom, may white Jesus rest his soul."

Bianca and Mal were the only ones in the room who were comfortable laughing. Camille was confused, Joanne and Anna were covering their mouths trying not to laugh and Celeste was just horrified.

"I don’t think like these costumes very much."

"Eh?? Why??" Shiro blinked innocently.

"Literally where do I even begin?"

Bianca shrugged nonchalantly. "She’s not serious, babe. One night you should actually stay up long enough to watch The Boondocks with us and you’ll see where she’s coming from."

"Should the kids really be watching something like that?"

"Well, we don’t let them watch the health inspector and booty warrior episodes."

"Or the one with the gold digger." Malachi nodded.

Celeste looked at the two of them like they were crazy.

"It’s a problem too late to fix." Anna shrugged. "They were all watching the show together before the kids even had human forms."

Celeste was only now remembering that the girls were not born normally.

"It’s just a little costume." Bianca shrugged. "I don’t see what the big-"

"Your black history month ends on February the fourteenth, don’t it, half-rican?"

Bianca’s jaw went slack as Malachi and Anna collapsed on top of each other. Joanne buried her head under the covers and Celeste folded her arms in an ’I told you so’ look.

Finally, Sei came into the room wearing a rather cute but simple maid costume.

She took one look at the kids’ outfits and the smile was instantly wiped from her face.

"Absolutely not."

""Eh?!"" The kids cried in unison.

Bianca rubbed the back of her neck. "Okay, you’re probably right... It’s a good thing we had a backup plan. Babe, do the honors."

Malachi’s shadows rose up over the bodies of everyone in the room.

Celeste instinctually closed her eyes in surprise, and when she opened her eyes again, she was out of her loungewear.

She and everyone else in the room were wearing a black cloak with bright red clouds stationed all over it.

Celeste tapped her forehead where she felt a small metal headband tied just over her brow.

"I liked the old costumes better." Shiro poked out her lip.

"Yeah, that’s part of the problem, babydoll." Bianca patted her on the head affectionately.

Joanne looked down at her clothes with a hint of confusion.

"Is this another comic book thing?"

Malachi and Bianca were horrified.

If they didn’t love Jo so much, they would hurl her out the window for such blasphemy.

"Why am I dressed up?" Celeste turned her head.

Camille climbed into the bed and started trying to pull her mother up.

"You’re coming trick or treating with us, right, mommy?"

"Oh, honey, I don’t really do Hallo..."

Camille’s eyes got bigger and bigger. Celeste felt overpowered.

She had never really had a big family that took holidays so seriously before. Usually, she just didn’t participate.

But the deeper she fell in with the Saint family, the more she was coming out of her shell and embracing new traditions.

And the more she thought about it, the more she thought that the scariest thing of all might be one day not having the opportunity to do these kinds of things.

With that thought in mind, her answer came easily.

"...Of course I will, baby. Can’t let you and your sisters keep all of the candy for yourselves."