CHAPTER 56: I CHOSE NOT TO PUSH MY LUCK.

"Drunk Isobel", it turned out, looked like a fucking Barbarian.

Things started out pretty tame. We went to the nearby tavern, which Lyra and I were regulars at, and introduced Isobel as our Advisor. Glasses were raised in celebration of House May, half-joking inquiries were made about whether we were taking on recruits–a good sign even though we weren’t at that stage yet–, and free rounds paid for by the barkeep.

That was what kicked it off. The barkeep made the unfortunate mistake of giving out free cups of stout. Isobel didn’t like stout, but she also didn’t like being wasteful. So, she decided to mix it with a cup of wine that Lyra had forgotten about to see if she’d like it like that.

Isobel liked that drink. She liked that drink a lot. So, she ordered another. And another. And another.

Eight another’s later, and the bar was destroyed. A man had jokingly called her out for drinking too much. Isobel did not like being talked down to. She didn’t like it at all. The man learned this painful lesson rather quickly. I tried to get in between it, but Lyra stopped me before I could. She, too, had been drinking, and, like the crowd, was more interested in watching the fight than stopping it.

When we were finally kicked out of the tavern, a group of Barbarians followed us out. A woman with two men flanking her. She commended Isobel’s strength, offering to cover the damages if Isobel joined them for a few Quests later in the week.

Isobel, ever the smooth talker, told those "shit-flinging Barbarians" to "go back to whatever cave they crawled out of" because she was "too good to fight alongside knuckle-dragging apes".

Needless to say, the Barbarians rescinded their offer. They also punched her. And kicked her. Isobel did not like being punched and kicked. So, she blasted them across the town.

The following day, Isobel was bedridden. Pain from the fights and a nasty hangover had caught up to her. Lyra and I decided to go behind her back, taking on a 4-Star Quest to kill some cult leader in Ublar for 200,000 gold. We would’ve done a 5-Star Quest, but there were none available. There could have been, but the Barbarians manning the counter at the Adventurer’s Guild didn’t feel like checking.

In the end, we paid for the damages at the tavern. When we returned to the House, Isobel was up at her desk. She had written a host of apology letters and had tasked me with giving them all out.

I did.

The tavernkeep, a retired Wizard, had no real problem with the damage. His magic meant he could rebuild the place in minutes. I wondered why, then, he accepted my money for repairs. I could have asked, but I chose not to push my luck.

The Adventurer she fought, a man named Levi Lee, was indifferent. He and his friend Vincent agreed that barfights are a fun pastime. I disagreed, but I chose not to push my luck.

The Barbarians who had taken Mr. Shaw’s place in the Adventurer’s Guild were forgiving. They told me that I should keep a tighter leash on Isobel when she’s drunk. They said this while handing a 5-Star Quest out to a group of Paladin trainees. The Quest was five days old. I would have asked about it, but I chose not to push my luck.

***

Three days had passed since that whole debacle. Isobel’s hangover had faded, but she’d gone back to holing herself in her room to study. She did leave, though only to give orders to Lyra and me. She’d learned about our secret 4-Star Mission and wasn’t happy, though a reminder of why we’d taken the Quest was enough to rid her of her anger.

Still, the days had gotten monotonous. After three days of Questing, we’d made 600,000 gold–200k a day, four Quests a day. When you looked at it like that, it was gonna be easy to become a Standard House!

But, like life loves to prove, things weren’t that easy. We’d spent 100,000 on basic furniture, 300,000 on fees associated with House upkeep and renewal, 100,000 on utility bills, and 100,000 on taxes. So... all in all... we made nothing.

Which led us to this moment. Lyra and I had come back from a Quest in the early morning to kill Goblins again, and were resting at our hiding–... hangout spot in front of the archway leading to the Royal Battlegrounds. Because we had no more Quests lined up for the day, Isobel had tasked us instead with groundskeeping. Again. There wasn’t much to clean, but goddamn did grass grow fast! And how did dust accumulate so quickly? We’d just paid the air bill! The circulation should’ve prevented all that! If we didn’t have to pay for "tile polishing" and "marble column repair", we could’ve used that money to pay for some maids! They should be the ones dealing with this, not us!

I’d vocalized all of this to Lyra, who nodded along in fierce agreement. "I am sick and tired of all of this busy work. It’s like grass knows to grow just long enough so that you can’t ignore it anymore!" She fumed, eyes widening in rage. "And these damn fruit trees! Why do so many critters want them?! The fruit isn’t even ripe! It’s hardly developed! What are you going to get out of a green plum?!"

"W-well... Green plums are popular in some parts of–"

"Shut up!"

"Sorry."

The two of us sat in silence for a long while as we did our best to enjoy this temporary break from cleaning. The silence was broken, as it often was, by Lyra. She sat up, eyes alight as though she’d thought up some grand idea. She turned to me with those eyes, which slowly turned calculating as she inched closer to me and threw an arm around my shoulder.

"Lloyd, this might be invasive, but... how are things with you and Isobel?"

"Fine...? Why?"

"I know they’re fine. I mean like... y’know. How have you two been?"

I turned to her, understanding dawning. "Why do you want to know?"

"I’m just saying," Lyra shrugged, standing to her full height. "She’s been so stressed lately. A shoulder massage, a nice walk, some masculine attention? That’d calm her down, for sure." She gave me a look. "I mean, I wouldn’t care about chores if I were getting taken care of by my lover, but that’s just me. Take that how you will, though. I’m just a single little mage girl. I don’t know anything about relationships and stuff. Come on, Lloyd. Let’s get back to pruning these–"

"Where’s Isobel?" I interrupted, eyes wide. I was not going to prune trees for the next four fucking hours.

Lyra’s smile widened considerably. "Last I checked, she was in her room. Go take a shower and spray on some cologne. I’ll try to keep her distracted. You’ve got this!" She leaned closer, eyes pleading. "You better have this, because I’m not trying to prune trees for the next four fucking hours!"