Chapter 6 - Character Stat Sheet, or: Everyone Around Me is Overpowered Except Me[A Special Interlude Brought to You by: Me. Kazuki. The Victim.]

    So.

    While the universe continues to gaslight me with magical girlfriend flags I never asked for, I figured it''s time to take stock of what I''m actually up against. S~ea??h the novёlF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

    This isn''t a normal high school romcom anymore.This is a full-on genre survival scenario.

    And if I''m the protagonist, I deserve to at least know everyone else''s stats.

    So here you go.

    ■ Character: Haruma Kazuki

    Role: Supposed Protagonist.Curse: All inappropriate or genre-cliché thoughts become reality.

    Stats

    Power Level: 0 (Mentally radioactive.)

    Willpower: 2/10 (Falls to temptation if there''s a breeze.)

    Romantic Awareness: -5 (Still believes girls just "being nice" is coincidence.)

    Dangerous Thoughts per Day: 7 (on a good day)

    Survival Rating: Questionable.

    Signature Move: "NO I DIDN''T MEAN TO THINK THAT"

    Comments:

    "I''m not the pervert, the curse is!"— Kazuki, while hiding from himself in a laundry basket.

    ■ Character: Aya Minazuki (a.k.a. Noona Next Door)

    Role: Childhood friend / Roommate / The only adult in this situation.Archetype: Sweet Big-Sister Type... but with tired sarcasm and a snack drawer full of revenge.

    Stats

    Cooking Skill: 8/10 (Accidentally domestic wife material.)

    Teasing Power: 12/10 (Weaponized smugness.)

    Protectiveness: Secretly maxed out.

    Attraction Awareness: 100% (Knows exactly what Kazuki''s brain is doing.)

    Danger Level: Rising. Fast.

    Special Ability:

    "Mental Whiplash" — delivers emotionally confusing compliments with a side of verbal slaps.

    Comments:

    "If I end up in a hot spring scene because of you, I''m putting wasabi in your shampoo."— Aya, 90% joking.

    ■ Character: Natsuki-sensei (a.k.a. Sensei of Doom)

    Role: Homeroom teacher / Nurse impersonator / Reality''s biggest enablerArchetype: Chill older woman + Dangerous tease

    Stats

    Casual Intimacy Level: 9000

    Home Invasion Frequency: Weekly

    Outfit Danger Level: Contextually illegal

    Teaching Skill: ?? (Does she even still grade tests?)

    Deadpan Power: S-class

    Signature Move:

    "Oh, did I make you uncomfortable? That''s my job."

    Comments:

    "It''s not grooming if I''m just making miso soup."— Natsuki-sensei, terrifyingly sincere.

    ■ Character: Rika Kurose (a.k.a. Ice Queen with a Rice Cooker)

    Role: Class rep / Perfectionist / Silent danger approachingArchetype: Kuudere with deeply buried dere

    Stats

    Organization Skill: 10/10 (Can alphabetize your soul.)

    Emotional Expression: 3/10 (Blink twice if you''re flirting.)

    Unexpected Sweetness: Lethal

    Text Message Power: Chills spine

    Lunchbox Attack Damage: 1-hit KO

    Special Ability:

    "Precision Dere Bomb" — drops one sweet line per day that keeps you awake until 3AM.

    Comments:

    "I researched nutritional balance for you. Not because I care. But because it was... annoying not to."— Rika, seconds before I forgot how to breathe.

    ■ Character: ??? (a.k.a. The Brain Curse Itself)

    Role: Villain. Or God. Or a badly coded wish.Function: Grants Kazuki''s most inappropriate thoughts immediate reality-based consequences.

    Stats

    Logic Level: None

    Timing: Perfectly awful

    Narrative Sense: Feeds off tropes like fuel

    Mercy Level: 0

    Estimated Origin: Bad sleep + anime marathons + teenage hormones

    Signature Move:

    "You Thought It? Now Suffer It."

    Comments:

    "You imagined a nurse in an apron. That''s on you, bud."— Probably the curse.

    Kazuki''s Final Thoughts:I need a helmet for my thoughts.Or a spiritual exorcist.Or a genre shift to horror so I stop summoning fanservice events.

    At this point, I''d even accept a sports arc. Just something where no one''s clothes fall off.