Chapter 6 - Character Stat Sheet, or: Everyone Around Me is Overpowered Except Me[A Special Interlude Brought to You by: Me. Kazuki. The Victim.]

So.

While the universe continues to gaslight me with magical girlfriend flags I never asked for, I figured it''s time to take stock of what I''m actually up against. S~ea??h the novёlF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

This isn''t a normal high school romcom anymore.This is a full-on genre survival scenario.

And if I''m the protagonist, I deserve to at least know everyone else''s stats.

So here you go.

■ Character: Haruma Kazuki

Role: Supposed Protagonist.Curse: All inappropriate or genre-cliché thoughts become reality.

Stats

Power Level: 0 (Mentally radioactive.)

Willpower: 2/10 (Falls to temptation if there''s a breeze.)

Romantic Awareness: -5 (Still believes girls just "being nice" is coincidence.)

Dangerous Thoughts per Day: 7 (on a good day)

Survival Rating: Questionable.

Signature Move: "NO I DIDN''T MEAN TO THINK THAT"

Comments:

"I''m not the pervert, the curse is!"— Kazuki, while hiding from himself in a laundry basket.

■ Character: Aya Minazuki (a.k.a. Noona Next Door)

Role: Childhood friend / Roommate / The only adult in this situation.Archetype: Sweet Big-Sister Type... but with tired sarcasm and a snack drawer full of revenge.

Stats

Cooking Skill: 8/10 (Accidentally domestic wife material.)

Teasing Power: 12/10 (Weaponized smugness.)

Protectiveness: Secretly maxed out.

Attraction Awareness: 100% (Knows exactly what Kazuki''s brain is doing.)

Danger Level: Rising. Fast.

Special Ability:

"Mental Whiplash" — delivers emotionally confusing compliments with a side of verbal slaps.

Comments:

"If I end up in a hot spring scene because of you, I''m putting wasabi in your shampoo."— Aya, 90% joking.

■ Character: Natsuki-sensei (a.k.a. Sensei of Doom)

Role: Homeroom teacher / Nurse impersonator / Reality''s biggest enablerArchetype: Chill older woman + Dangerous tease

Stats

Casual Intimacy Level: 9000

Home Invasion Frequency: Weekly

Outfit Danger Level: Contextually illegal

Teaching Skill: ?? (Does she even still grade tests?)

Deadpan Power: S-class

Signature Move:

"Oh, did I make you uncomfortable? That''s my job."

Comments:

"It''s not grooming if I''m just making miso soup."— Natsuki-sensei, terrifyingly sincere.

■ Character: Rika Kurose (a.k.a. Ice Queen with a Rice Cooker)

Role: Class rep / Perfectionist / Silent danger approachingArchetype: Kuudere with deeply buried dere

Stats

Organization Skill: 10/10 (Can alphabetize your soul.)

Emotional Expression: 3/10 (Blink twice if you''re flirting.)

Unexpected Sweetness: Lethal

Text Message Power: Chills spine

Lunchbox Attack Damage: 1-hit KO

Special Ability:

"Precision Dere Bomb" — drops one sweet line per day that keeps you awake until 3AM.

Comments:

"I researched nutritional balance for you. Not because I care. But because it was... annoying not to."— Rika, seconds before I forgot how to breathe.

■ Character: ??? (a.k.a. The Brain Curse Itself)

Role: Villain. Or God. Or a badly coded wish.Function: Grants Kazuki''s most inappropriate thoughts immediate reality-based consequences.

Stats

Logic Level: None

Timing: Perfectly awful

Narrative Sense: Feeds off tropes like fuel

Mercy Level: 0

Estimated Origin: Bad sleep + anime marathons + teenage hormones

Signature Move:

"You Thought It? Now Suffer It."

Comments:

"You imagined a nurse in an apron. That''s on you, bud."— Probably the curse.

Kazuki''s Final Thoughts:I need a helmet for my thoughts.Or a spiritual exorcist.Or a genre shift to horror so I stop summoning fanservice events.

At this point, I''d even accept a sports arc. Just something where no one''s clothes fall off.