CHAPTER 100: NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

The academy gates looked like paradise after three days of Korvo’s idea of "light camping."

"ACCEPTABLE PERFORMANCE!" Korvo bellowed as they trudged through. "ONLY MILD DISAPPOINTMENT! DISMISSED!"

[Can’t you stop yelling already!?]

Everyone scattered before he could change his mind and make them do push-ups or fight another tree. Aegis headed straight for her dorm, desperate for her actual bed and pillows that weren’t rocks.

Serilla caught her arm just as they reached the main building.

"Thanks for the adventure," she said, voice low. "Next time maybe something with less death but more..." She trailed off, eyes flicking down to Aegis’s lips.

"More what?"

"You’ll figure it out." She walked away, hips swaying. "Sweet dreams, Starcaller."

Aegis stood there for a second, brain trying to process whatever that was supposed to mean.

[I’m too tired for mind games.]

The halls were empty this late. Everyone sensible was asleep, which meant Aegis kept expecting to run into other idiots who’d been out doing questionable things. But she made it to her room without incident.

She pushed open the door to blessed darkness and—

"NYA!"

"ACK!"

Something plump and violent slammed into her chest, sending them both tumbling to the floor. Aegis’s head cracked against the wood. Stars exploded across her vision.

When the world stopped spinning, Mei’Lin, the big-breasted catgirl twin, was straddling her, a knife pressed to her throat.

"Finally, nya! Time to die!"

"What the fuck—"

"No talking! Only dying!"

The blade pressed harder. A thin line of warmth trickled down Aegis’s neck.

"Mei’Lin, this is really not—"

"Shut up, nya! You’ve humiliated me for the last time!"

"I’ve humiliated you like, twice at most!"

"Three times!"

"What was the third?"

"Right now! By not being scared!"

They struggled, Aegis trying to grab her wrists while Mei’Lin tried to push the knife through her throat. For someone so soft-looking, the catgirl was surprisingly strong. Must have been all that assassination training.

"Any last words, nya?" Mei’Lin asked, leaning forward to put more weight on the blade.

Which was when Aegis’s cock, which had absolutely no sense of appropriate timing, decided to make its presence known. It pressed right against Mei’Lin’s ass through their clothes.

They both froze.

"Is that...?"

"No."

"It is, nya!"

"It’s not what you think—"

"You’re getting hard from this?!"

"It’s a physiological response to—"

"PERVERT!"

Mei’Lin’s face went bright red. Her grip on the knife loosened just slightly.

Aegis saw her chance.

[Fuck it, play along, Aegis!]

"T-That’s right!" She bucked her hips, grinding up against Mei’Lin. "I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget all about killing me!"

"NYA?!"

Aegis flipped them over, pinning Mei’Lin’s wrists above her head. The knife went skittering across the floor.

"Any last words?" Aegis growled, pitching her voice lower. "You know, before I FUCK YOU!?"

Mei’Lin’s eyes went wide. Tears started forming at the corners.

"N-nyooo! You can’t! I’m a pure maiden!"

"Should have thought of that before you straddled me."

"That was for murder, not sex!"

"Too late! I’m going to—"

The door opened.

Lune stood in the doorway, paintbrush in one hand, canvas in the other.

She looked at the scene—Aegis on top of a teary-eyed catgirl, both of them flushed and breathing hard, Aegis’s very obvious erection pressed between them.

Her expression went from neutral to disgusted in record time.

The door closed with a decisive click.

"Wait!" Aegis scrambled off Mei’Lin. "This isn’t what it looks like!"

She yanked the door open, but Lune was already gone. Probably to bleach her eyes and find a new roommate who didn’t molest assassins.

"You ruined everything, nya!" Mei’Lin wailed from the floor.

"I ruined—YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!"

"That’s not important right now!"

"It feels pretty important!"

"Now she thinks you’re some kind of deviant who forces himself on innocent catgirls!"

"You are literally an assassin!"

"An INNOCENT, PURE assassin!"

Aegis grabbed her head with both hands and shook it.

This was insane. Her roommate now thought she was a predator, she had a would-be killer in her room, and her cock was still hard because apparently her body hadn’t caught up with her thoughts yet.

"Get out," she said.

"What?"

"Get. Out."

"You can’t kick me out! I haven’t killed you!" Mei’Lin pouted.

"I can, and I am! Out!"

"T-This isn’t over, nya!"

"It’s extremely over. Go away."

"I’ll be back, nya! And next time—"

"Next time I’m throwing you into the fucking sun!"

Mei’Lin huffed, grabbed her knife, and slunk toward the window. Because of course she’d come in through the window. Assassins were allergic to doors.

"This isn’t over!" she repeated one more time, then disappeared into the night.

Aegis collapsed onto her bed. Everything hurt. Her throat was bleeding. Her reputation was destroyed. And she still had classes tomorrow.

[Why is my life like this?]

---

The dining hall the next morning was torture.

Aegis sat alone, poking at her porridge and trying to ignore the weight of everyone’s stares. News traveled fast at Rosevale, and "Aegis Starcaller Assaults Pure Cat Girl" was apparently the hot gossip.

Lune sat three tables away, very purposefully not looking at her.

Mei’Lin glared daggers from across the room, sitting with her sister who also looked murderous.

Well, more than usual.

Talia kept glancing over with an expression somewhere between confused and concerned.

Even Scarlett seemed uncertain, giving Aegis worried looks between bites of her third helping.

"Rough night?"

Serilla slid into the seat across from her, looking infuriatingly perfect despite it being barely seven in the morning.

"Don’t."

"I’m just saying, when I suggested you might want more adventure—"

"I swear to god, Serilla."

"The gods have nothing to do with what you were apparently doing to that cat girl."

"I wasn’t doing anything!"

"That’s not what I heard."

"What did you hear?"

"That you had her pinned to the floor, threatening to ’fuck her until she forgot her own name.’"

"That’s—okay that’s actually accurate but the context—"

"The context was you on top of her with a massive erection."

"She was trying to kill me!"

"Kinky."

Aegis dropped her head to the table. The wood was cool against her forehead. Maybe if she stayed like this long enough, everyone would forget she existed.

"For what it’s worth," Serilla continued, "I don’t think you’d do that."

"Thanks."

"You’re too repressed to be a proper predator."

"Fuck you."

Someone cleared their throat. Aegis looked up to find Sister Mirabel standing beside their table, radiating disapproval like a disappointed sun.

"Miss Starcaller. A word."

"I can explain—"

"Privately."

She turned and walked away, clearly expecting Aegis to follow.

"Good luck," Serilla said. "Try not to assault any nuns."

"I hate you."

Aegis trudged after Mirabel, feeling like she was walking to her execution. Behind her, she could hear new whispers starting. Great. Now they’d think she was in trouble with the church too.

They ended up in an empty classroom. Mirabel closed the door and activated what looked like a privacy ward.

"So," she said. "Would you like to explain why one of my students just filed a complaint about sexual harassment?"

"She filed a COMPLAINT?!"

"Miss Summerfang was quite upset. Apparently you propositioned her violently?"

"She broke into my room to murder me!"

Mirabel’s eyebrow raised exactly one millimeter.

"And your response was to threaten her with... intercourse?"

"It was tactical!"

"Tactical."

"She got flustered! It was working!"

"I see." Mirabel pulled out a notebook. "And would you describe this as a... pattern of behavior?"

"What? No!"

"Because I’ve heard some interesting stories. Something about a library incident with Princess Stone?"

"That was consensual!"

"The garden liaison?"

"Also consensual!"

"The storage room adventure?"

"How do you even know about that?"

"I’m a nun, not blind." Mirabel made another note. "You seem to have a very active... social life."

"Is that illegal now?"

"No. But assault is."

"I didn’t assault anyone! She literally had a knife to my throat!"

"And yet she’s the one who filed a complaint."

This was insane. This was beyond insane. This had looped back around to some kind of meta-insane that didn’t have a proper word yet.

"Am I being expelled?" Aegis asked.

"That depends. Are you going to assault any more students?"

"I didn’t assault—" She took a breath. "No. No more... tactical seduction of would-be assassins."

"Good." Mirabel closed her notebook. "You’re on probation. Any more incidents and we’ll have a very different conversation."

"Yes, Sister."

"Also." Mirabel’s expression softened slightly. "Perhaps consider that using sex as a weapon might have unintended consequences."

She deactivated the ward and left, leaving Aegis alone with her thoughts.

[I need to fix this.]

But first, she had to survive the rest of breakfast. She walked back to the dining hall, trying to ignore how conversations stopped when she passed.

As she sat back down, she caught a snippet of conversation from the next table where Darius was holding court with some nobles.

"—perfect opportunity," he was saying. "The Winter Trials are coming up. She won’t be able to refuse if—"

"But what about her mother’s approval?" another voice asked.

"Leave that to me. I have a plan."

They were talking about Talia. Had to be. Which meant Darius was plotting something for the Winter Trials.

[Great. Another thing to worry about.]

Aegis pushed her porridge away. She’d lost her appetite.

Across the room, Mei’Lin was now making obscene gestures at her while Kai’Lin tried to stop her.

Lune still wouldn’t look at her.

And Serilla was watching everything with that calculating expression that meant she was planning something.

[This is going to be a long day.]