CHAPTER 98: VICTORY POSE

Morning in the forest came with Korvo’s voice, which was basically nature’s alarm clock if alarm clocks could threaten you with bodily harm.

"STARCALLER! LIONHEART! BREAKFAST DUTY! MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

Aegis cracked one eye open. The sun was barely up, painting everything in that annoying golden color that morning people probably loved. Her back hurt from sleeping on the ground. Her neck hurt from using a rock as a pillow. Everything hurt because camping was terrible and whoever invented it deserved punishment.

"Come on, sunshine," Scarlett said, already up and stretching. The motion made her shirt ride up, showing abs that could grate cheese. "Can’t hunt on an empty stomach."

"We’re hunting BECAUSE of empty stomachs."

"Details."

They stumbled into the forest, Aegis still half-asleep and fully grumpy. Scarlett had her sword. Aegis had her daggers and a deep resentment for mornings.

"So," Scarlett said after they’d walked for ten minutes without seeing anything edible. "Interesting night?"

"What?"

"I woke up for a bit. Around two maybe?" Scarlett’s grin was pure evil. "Saw something... educational."

Aegis’s brain finally came online.

"How much did you see?"

"Oh, just Serilla straddling you like she was trying to start a fire with friction."

"It wasn’t—she was just—"

"And then you water-spelled her in the face." Scarlett laughed. "Her shriek woke up half the forest."

"You didn’t say anything."

"And interrupt that? No way. Best entertainment I’ve had all week. Besides, can’t judge. I had my own interesting night."

"Oh?"

"Ran into Kanna during my workout."

"And?"

"And nothing. We exercised. She corrected my form."

"Is that what they’re calling it now?"

Scarlett’s face went red.

"It was literally just training!"

"Uh-huh. Did she correct your form with her hands?"

"...maybe."

"Did she get reeeeaaaal close to show you proper positioning?"

"Shut up."

"Did she breathe softly on your neck while adjusting your stance?"

"I’m going to throw you into a lake."

"There’s no lake here."

"I’ll find one specifically to throw you into."

They bickered comfortably while scanning for prey. The forest was weirdly quiet this morning, like everything was hiding. Smart animals.

"There," Scarlett whispered, pointing.

A rabbit sat in a small clearing, nose twitching. It was fat and stupid-looking, the kind of rabbit that had clearly never met a predator.

"I got this," Aegis said, pulling out her daggers.

"Can you even throw those?"

"Of course I can throw them. I’m very talented."

"Oh, I don’t doubt that at all."

Aegis rolled her eyes, smiling.

She threw the dagger. It went about three feet to the left of the rabbit, stuck in a tree. The rabbit looked at it, looked at them, and hopped away with what seemed like disappointment.

"Very talented," Scarlett repeated.

"Shut up."

"That rabbit is telling his friends about the scary human who attacked a tree."

"I said shut up."

"’The tree had it coming,’ he’ll say. ’Very suspicious tree.’"

Aegis tackled her. They went down in a heap, rolling through the leaves and dirt. Scarlett was laughing too hard to fight properly, and Aegis took advantage, pinning her wrists above her head.

"Yield!"

"Never!"

"Say I’m a great hunter!"

"You couldn’t hunt your way out of a butcher shop!"

They were both laughing now, breathless and pressed together. Scarlett’s face was flushed. Her chest heaved under Aegis. Their eyes met.

"We should—" Scarlett started.

"Yeah."

Neither moved.

Then Aegis leaned down and kissed her. Scarlett made a soft noise, her hands breaking free to tangle in Aegis’s hair. The kiss went from soft to desperate in seconds, all tongue and teeth and need.

Scarlett’s leg hooked around Aegis’s waist, pulling her closer. Aegis groaned, grinding down. Her cock was rock hard, pressing against Scarlett through their clothes.

"Fuck," Scarlett gasped. "We can’t—Korvo will—"

"Five minutes."

"He’ll kill us."

"Worth it."

Scarlett laughed into the kiss, her hands sliding down to grab Aegis’s ass.

"You’re impossible."

"You like it."

"Yeah, I really do."

They made out against that tree for definitely more than five minutes, hands wandering and breathing getting increasingly desperate. Scarlett’s hand had just made it into Aegis’s pants when a roar echoed through the forest.

They froze.

"Was that—"

"STARCALLER! LIONHEART! WHERE IS MY BREAKFAST!"

"Shit shit shit."

They scrambled apart, trying to fix their clothes and hair. Scarlett had leaves in places leaves shouldn’t be. Aegis’s shirt was inside out.

"Rabbit," Scarlett said. "We need to find something."

"Right. Food. Hunting."

[... Oops?]

---

They managed to catch two rabbits through sheer panic-driven determination, sprinting back to camp just as Korvo was about to come looking for them.

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!"

"Big forest," Aegis panted.

"Elusive rabbits," Scarlett added.

Korvo’s good eye narrowed.

"Why do you have leaves in your hair, Lionheart?"

"...camouflage?"

"And why is Starcaller’s shirt inside out?"

"Fashion statement?"

"GET THAT FOOD COOKING! WE MOVE IN THIRTY MINUTES!"

They scattered.

As Aegis tried to figure out how to skin a rabbit without looking like a complete amateur, she caught Serilla watching her. The pink-haired girl’s expression was unreadable, but there was something intense in her eyes.

[Great. That’s not concerning at all.]

"TODAY’S TARGET!" Korvo announced once they’d broken camp. "FOREST GUARDIAN! MODERATELY DIFFICULT! PROBABLY WON’T KILL YOU!"

"Probably?" Darius asked.

"DEFINITELY MIGHT NOT KILL YOU!"

"That’s worse."

"SHUT UP, GOLDSPIRE!"

They marched deeper into the forest, following what Korvo insisted were "obvious tracks" but looked like random dirt to everyone else. The trees grew thicker, older. The air felt heavier.

Aegis walked between Scarlett and Serilla, which was its own special kind of awkward. Scarlett kept making faces at her when Korvo wasn’t looking. Serilla hadn’t said a word all morning, just watched everything with those calculating eyes.

"There," Kanna said quietly.

Everyone looked. In a clearing ahead, something massive moved between the trees.

Level 15 Forest Guardian

HP: 500/500

[Oh fuck. That’s a big boy.]

It looked like someone had decided trees weren’t scary enough and gave one steroids and anger issues. Bark-covered muscle, branches for arms, and roots that moved like tentacles. Its face was a hollow in the trunk with two burning green eyes.

"Volunteers?" Korvo asked.

Nobody moved.

"STARCALLER! CONGRATULATIONS ON VOLUNTEERING!"

"I didn’t—"

"GET IN THERE!"

Aegis looked at the Guardian. The Guardian looked at Aegis. Well, probably. Hard to tell with tree faces.

"Any advice?" she asked.

"Don’t die."

"Super helpful."

She walked into the clearing, daggers out. The Guardian turned toward her with the sound of a hundred branches breaking.

[Okay. In the game, these things are weak to fire and quick attacks. I don’t have fire, but I have speed.]

The Guardian swung. Aegis ducked, the branch-arm whistling overhead. She darted in, daggers flashing. Ruby and Sapphire bit deep into bark, leaving gouges that leaked sap.

HP: 487/500

[... This might take a while.]

She danced back as roots erupted from the ground where she’d been standing. Then forward again, striking at what might have been a knee. The Guardian roared, swinging both arms down.

Aegis used Aether Step, blinking behind it. Her daggers found something vital-looking. Sap sprayed everywhere, covering her hands in sticky grossness.

"GET IT, AEGIS!" Scarlett shouted.

That was nice. Supportive. Aegis grinned, turning to give a thumbs up—

The root caught her completely off guard, wrapping around her waist and yanking her into the air. Her daggers went flying. The Guardian lifted her up to face level, those green eyes burning with what was probably hunger.

[Well, this isn’t good.]

Then she remembered: Aether Whip.

The blue-white energy materialized in her hands. She lashed out, the whip wrapping around the Guardian’s "throat." She pulled hard, using the leverage to swing herself up onto its shoulders.

"What are you doing!?" Korvo bellowed.

"WINNING!"

She grabbed the whip with both hands and pulled. The Guardian thrashed, trying to throw her off. But Aegis held on, tightening the aether noose. The creature’s movements got sluggish. Weaker.

Then, with a sound like a forest falling, it collapsed.

Aegis stood on its corpse, breathing hard but victorious. She threw her arms up in triumph.

"YEAH! WHO’S THE BEST? I’M THE BEST!"

"AEGIS!" Scarlett yelled.

"WITNESS ME!" She turned and spread her arms out.

Scarlett went silent. So did Kanna, Darius, Korvo, and Serilla, for that matter.

[Huh?]

She looked down.

The roots had torn straight through her pants. Not just a little rip. The entire front was gone, leaving her cock hanging out for everyone to see. Her very erect cock, because apparently life-or-death combat was arousing now.

Everyone stared.

Darius made a choking sound.

Kanna raised one eyebrow exactly three millimeters.

Serilla licked her lips.

"GET DRESSED!" Korvo roared. "THE FOREST DOESN’T CARE HOW LONG YOUR DICK IS!"

Aegis tried to cover herself with her hands, which just made it worse somehow. Her face burned hotter than the Guardian’s eyes had.

"I need—pants—someone—"

"Here." Serilla tossed her a spare pair from her pack. "They might be tight."

They were. They were very tight. But they covered the important bits, even if they left absolutely nothing to imagination.

"YOUR KILL, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!" Korvo announced, apparently over the whole incident. "DRAG IT BACK FOR HARVESTING!"

The Guardian weighed approximately as much as a small house. Aegis grabbed one branch-arm and pulled. It moved maybe an inch.

"This is impossible."

"Should’ve thought of that before you lost your pants," Darius said, smirking.

"How are those two things related?"

"They’re not. I just wanted to remind you that you lost your pants."

Aegis went to collect Ruby and Sapphire from where they’d landed. When she turned back, Scarlett was already tying ropes around the Guardian.

"Come on," she said. "We’ll drag it together."

"You don’t have to—"

"Yeah, but I want to." Scarlett grinned. "Besides, someone needs to make sure you don’t lose Serilla’s pants too. Don’t think the forest is ready for that much dick."

They hauled the corpse back toward camp, Aegis trying to ignore how Serilla’s pants felt like they were painted on. Behind them, she could hear Darius still laughing.

[I’m never living this down.]