CHAPTER 30: CHAPTER 30 THIS BUTT IS AWKWARD TO HOLD

Speaking of Nezha, he again used Earth Style to reach Skull Mountain, where countless peaks stood, and landed on a stone ledge.

Before seeing a soul, he only saw a spiritual divine deer with big antlers approaching him, sniffing around him. The deer, about two meters tall, laid down right in front of him and closed its eyes to sleep.

"Dear Deer, you should go sleep in the woods. The grass over there is soft while this stone is hard and cold. Even though it’s the blazing summer, when you get older, trust me, those old legs will be a problem."

Nezha was troubled by this deer blocking his way. Though he could walk around it, he was unsure if this was a coincidence or if Lady Shi Ji had arranged it to imply that this ’deer’ couldn’t understand him, prompting him to seek elsewhere. This made the seven-year-old, not-so-eloquent boy overthink.

He crossed his arms and circled the divine deer three times. The deer’s fur was glossy and shiny. Despite its size, it had no cultivation, but its natural intuition was much stronger than his teacher Mr. Fan.

As he was about to make another round, a voice pretending to be deep spoke: "Hey, what are you circling for?"

Hearing the voice from behind, Nezha was pleasantly surprised. Turning around without opening his eyes, he cupped his hands in a salute and said, "Greetings, Daoist Bi Yun."

"Why did you just leave and come back so soon? Be careful not to be seen by Cai Yun again, or you’ll be in for a treat; she’s still mad at you."

Nezha chuckled bitterly. He thought if he had known he would return so quickly, he wouldn’t have dared to pat Cai Yun’s butt as he left, and Cai Yun’s temper was even worse than he imagined, not at all like a cultivator.

Nezha unloaded the big and small packages from him and took out a slightly larger box, saying: "This is dried squid, a specialty of Chentang Pass, crispy and savory when eaten. It’s my favorite snack, so I brought some for you, Daoist Brother, to try."

Bi Yun was stunned, swallowed his saliva, and discreetly put the box into his chest, saying, "This isn’t really proper."

"It’s just a snack. Please, Daoist Brother, why is this deer blocking the way?"

"You mean the Cloud Stepping Deer? It’s known around these mountains for being greedy. Anyone that runs into it is doomed if they don’t bring a gift. Only the Lady and Cai Yun can handle it on Skull Mountain."

Hearing this, Nezha, who came asking for help, didn’t intend to offend the locals. He obediently laid out a gift in front of the Cloud Stepping Deer, relieved that this wasn’t Shi Ji’s intention.

"Dear Deer, this is a five-hundred-year-old Wild Ginseng, a priceless treasure."

The Cloud Stepping Deer, which was sleeping, immediately awoke at the scent of Wild Ginseng and devoured it contentedly. Apparently satisfied with the taste, it leisurely stood up and strolled into the forest.

Nezha let out a sigh of relief and said to Bi Yun, "Thank you for the guidance, Daoist Bi Yun. Could you inform the Lady that Nezha seeks an audience?"

"Um—well, um, oh, I suddenly remembered I have something to do! Bye!"

Bi Yun turned and ran. Nezha was stunned, thinking this is your home, so why are you running before me?

Immediately, he understood why.

A chilling murderous intent emanated from behind him, causing his neck to stiffen. As he turned his head with difficulty, he saw the delicate-faced Cai Yun Child, face sullen, eyebrows knitted with tension, wielding a Seven-Colored Glaze Treasure Sword, glaring at him coldly.

"Uh, um, hello, Daoist Cai Yun, I suddenly remembered something, so I’ll just—"

"Oh really, you dare to come back!" Cai Yun gritted her teeth, the sword’s edge glimmering, her aura like that of a fierce beast from the mountains.

"Um, Daoist Cai Yun, last time was a complete misunderstanding. I brought gifts especially to apologize to you this time."

"You bastard, taste my sword!"

Indeed, you don’t practice top swords but practice lower ones, don’t practice Iron Swords but practice Silver Swords, Nezha thought his hands were truly treacherous, and why argue with someone like this anyway? Why provoke him last time?

Cai Yun’s sword techniques came one after another, rapid and urgent. Although her mind was chaotic, leading to chaotic sword techniques, they were after all taught by a famous master. Despite being prepared, Nezha was unarmed and caught in a perilous situation, managing only to dodge without resisting.

After dodging twenty or thirty swords, Nezha finally found a moment to catch his breath and shouted, "After cutting so many swords, you should have vented your anger, Daoist Brother. If you keep this up, I won’t be polite!"

"Then show me what not being polite looks like!"

Hearing this, Cai Yun’s attacks accelerated, the sword dance swirling in the air. Nezha, being pushed too hard by the sword techniques, clenched his teeth and shook his waist’s red silk. The red silk spun around him, and in the blink of an eye, it wrapped the tall Cai Yun Child tightly, rendering her unable to move no matter how she struggled.

Nezha spread his hands and said, "See, you told me not to be polite, such an odd request, never seen anything like it in my life."

"Scoundrel! Let me go! I’ll kill you!"

"Why can’t you speak nicely? It was just a pat on your butt, why make a fuss? At worst, you can pat mine too?"

Cai Yun, seeing Nezha sticking out his butt at her, widened her eyes, her previously pale face turning bright red. She shouted angrily, "You dare say that again!"

Nezha didn’t know Cai Yun was a girl, thinking all Immortal Children were just this delicate, making him feel even more perplexed. He said, "You’re the worst. Can’t you just forget something as insignificant as a butt? How about this: promise never to trouble me again, and I’ll give you this box of top-grade face cream. Let me tell you, it’s a good thing my father brought back from Zhaoge, you can’t buy it at Chentang Pass."

But this long speech only registered the words "butt as big" in Cai Yun’s ears, and she couldn’t hear anything else, getting so agitated that her eyes filled with tears. She shouted, "You, you, you, you dare say it again!"

"Say it again? I think you are just impossible. If I were my tyrannical self from past lives, I would have beaten you to death. Fine, stay tied up here and calm down. I’m going in myself."

Having said that, Nezha pinched Cai Yun’s butt again, shook his head, and critiqued, "Skinny and tough, no flesh, it even hurts my hand. Off I go."

Cai Yun hadn’t expected Nezha to act so brazenly and, after a moment of shock, let out an ear-piercing scream that could split clouds and stones, actually bursting into tears.

Unaware of right and wrong, Nezha didn’t understand why Cai Yun was crying, thinking that the mountain cultivators weren’t as refined and transcendental as he had imagined, but rather quite petty. But that was fine, it made them a bit more down-to-earth.

Nezha’s lips curled up, and he wondered why doing things that annoyed others gave him a bit of pleasure. Tsk tsk tsk, I’m so bad.

Thinking this, with a determination to see what profit he could squeeze out, and without losing anything, Nezha entered Skull Mountain White Bone Cave for the second time.