CHAPTER 286: CHAPTER 286 - [K] NOT ALWAYS SO CONTROLLED

A/N: We skip back to the rooftop here for a few Chapters! If you aren’t a fan of such circuitous temporal jumps for effect... well, my sincere apologies~

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***[POV: Word Choosing CEO]***

"I can’t help but love them anyway, despite everything. They are beautiful. But they also represent everything wrong I grew up with as an example. Someone deciding what you should want instead of actually listening to what you do want."

She met my eyes with that light gray, the intelligence I always admired in them now soft and slightly pained. Close to pity, but I don’t think it was for my sake. Something I’d said just touched a nerve of hers again.

"I broke a pot of them once. The person who placed them didn’t know the history, but I... overreacted."

"How so?"

When she continued to question, I knew that she actually wanted the whole story. Not the sanitized version I’d given everyone else.

It’s not that she doesn’t banter at all... but she has a subtly different tone when she is being socially polite versus having interest in something. Less Princess, more Citra?

Yet, the complete truth about that day with Claire is not something I’d told anyone.

Not Luca, who’d quickly enough asked why my assistant was banned from the area. Because she tried to joke with him about it the next day to wave it off. She even took the blame instead.

Told him she’d broken a pot by accident while trying to water another plant that didn’t need it. But that wasn’t even close. Which may have been the point of her lie.

And yet I didn’t even expose my thoughts to her, who’d spent weeks walking on eggshells around me after that incident. Not then... and still not now.

I’d like to think she knew it wasn’t about her. Just like I’d like to think Citra wouldn’t consider me especially violent and unstable just because of what happened. Even if it scared her away... I found myself wishing to be honest.

Because she wasn’t scared away the times I’d dealt with the rogues in front of her. But this... isn’t the same. It wasn’t bad people doing bad things. It was a good person doing something that triggered me into almost acting without thinking.

"Someone had put them right next to my mother’s toad lilies. I came back from a long board meeting that day in spring to find a cluster in bloom."

That moment of seeing them there, so innocent and pretty in the late afternoon light and how that twisted so, so quickly when my heart paired it to the location.

Before getting more into the story, I began by settling onto one of the benches facing her. Leaving plenty of space if she decided to join me. But for now, she stood where she had been - which is fine.

"I thought it was some kind of cruel joke at first. One of my older pack members thinking they would get under my skin near the anniversary of his death."

Citra stared at me with that intense focus on her face she sometimes got when listening. Not judging it outright, just... absorbing. I guess if her tongue has nothing to be sharp against, it just remains silent.

"I quickly had Claire pull the security footage to figure out who had done it. And she gave it, probably thinking I was just concerned about the security aspect."

"Were you right?"

"No. The gardener placed it because he was asked and didn’t know any better. I’d never had a reason to define that it should never be here, I just told him which ones to keep."

"...Then who did it?"

Like her curiosity itself was reeling her in, she stepped closer to the bench. Her eyes darted to the open space and she frowned. Almost like something was urging her to sit down. Is it the system or... maybe her wolf?

"Claire. She was so excited to explain her reasons happily."

"Hold on one moment."

Her phone came to her hands and she sent what seemed to be a text before walking over and sitting down. Though the device was put in between us like a clear barrier as she leaned far to the other side.

"Okay. Go on."

"It was supposed to be a thank-you gift. She knew why I’d had the greenhouse built and she’d found an old photo on the internet from a booster club. With my father handing them to my mother at some public event."

I paused, remembering just how proud she’d been of her sleuth and her thoughtfulness. There was clearly no malice in her voice or actions. Yet...

"And that’s when I... lost control."

The words came out rough as my wolf stirred uneasily. As I let the feeling from then complete it’s emotional circuit. Because I avoided processing it.

"I’d been holding the pot of innocent flowers the entire time. While she explained her innocent meaning. And I just... I was still so angry despite that."

Not at her, but at everything the flowers represented. At my father for never listening. For dying after her. At myself for still caring about something so stupid.

"That I still rejected something I liked just because of him. At the violation of the one space that was supposed to be mine and mom’s. For a split second, when I raised it above my head... I almost threw it right at her."

My hands clenched involuntarily. Grew fur and claws. Like I could stop the me in the memory. But what’s done is done...

"She was only standing maybe three feet away, still smiling behind her desk. At a time when she rarely smiled anymore after what had happened to her. Completely oblivious to how furious I was. And I came so close to..."

A palm was pressed onto my chest, and when I looked up and saw the blue eyes glowing into mine... I forced myself to breathe. To slow down. To finish.

"But I caught myself. Held on and redirected my arms at the last second. Hurled it at the wall behind me instead. It shattered everywhere - soil, ceramic, and petals scattered across my office reception floor."

Silence stretched on. I couldn’t bring myself to look back up at Citra’s face, afraid of what I’d see there. Even though her hand remained firm on my chest... fingertips curled just a bit to either comfort or condemn, I’m not sure.

Even when she finally speaks.