“Wake up.”

John was not quite certain when he had last been rudely shaken out of his sleep. He was even less certain when he had last seen white hair first thing in the morning and had it not be accompanied by tight wetness around his manhood. That being said, he had to deal with one and was not blessed by the latter. Nahua stared at him expectantly.

“The trial is about to appear,” the axolotl woman spoke in a serious tone.

John immediately chased the sleep from his mind. Aclysia, who had been storming over from the nearby field kitchen, stopped dead in her tracks. The rest of the bed stirred as well. The sheet on top of the soft plant fibres was crinkled all over from the nightly debaucheries. Debaucheries that John would have loved to repeat.

‘Alas, priorities,’ he lamented. “How much time do we have?”

“Do I, like, look like I know?” Nahua asked, suddenly back to her sweet tone. She laughed and grinned menacingly. “I am messing around. You should have around an hour. I spotted it earlier.”

“Good girl,” John purred the words out of habit. He wasn’t sure what shot up quicker: Nahua’s eyebrow or Momo’s entire body. “In my defence, she’s on all fours in my bed.”

“It’s always sex with you,” the artificial support bemoaned.

“As if you aren’t in the bed right now because I shut your brain down,” John teased her. It did not work that morning. One moment Momo was in his bed, the next she blinked and left him with a red-eyed copy of hers.

“The viscountess says she has more interesting things to attend to than you,” the fairy clone relayed, her voice an equal parts whimsical and robotic facsimile of the head of its hivemind. A fitting interplay for a golem turned fairy.

‘That sassy little minx,’ the Gamer thought. “Aclysia, focus on a quick breakfast.”

“Yes, Master,” Aclysia answered, a notable level of disdain swinging in her voice. Quick was not the kind of breakfast she specialized in.

‘At least she’ll be motivated for violence,’ the Gamer thought. “Siena, Sylph, can you scout out the situation?”

“What do I get in return?” Siena bargained.

“Mhm, that’s a game we haven’t played in a while,” the Gamer considered out loud. “Would you like 10 minutes alone to stab me?”

“No, I believe we both have outgrown that challenge.” Lying in the bed, the succubus-esque shadow spirit sharpened her claws against each other. “What would I want?”

The Gamer wasn’t sure if this was the best time to be tested, but he played along. “I have heard of a very talented luthier that put up shop in Washington recently. How about a date, once all of this is over?”

“That will do,” the shadow spirit purred, her voice fading as she turned invisible.

“I guess, if I was a smart girl, and I am not, but I am not stupid either, that I should go zappity zap around and be all un-stealthy so Siena has an easier time sneaking about?” Sylph babbled. “Because I can do that.”

“If you would be so kind.”

“Only if you kiss me!”

“You drive a hard bargain,” John hummed and waved her in. One quick peck and one deep making out later, Sylph zapped out of the bedroom at rapid speed. “What are you doing?”

“Honestly just curious,” Nahua answered, poking the Gamer’s muscles. “You have an aesthetic body.”

Felt weird that a woman was saying that to him platonically. “Thank you, but if you could get off me now, I need a shower. Jane, come on.”

“Mhhhrrrrmmmm….”

“If you don’t wake up, you’ll miss the fights.”

“Mrrrreeow?!” his first fiancée jolted awake. “Shower?”

“Shower and quickie,” John clarified and got out from under the sheets as soon as Nahua had made room for him. The axolotl stayed in the room, if only to watch Aclysia cook. Even if she could no longer eat things, Nahua enjoyed the smell of food. Perhaps she would be given a Perk like Metra or Claire that let her enjoy it again.

If she stuck with him, anyway.

John moved to the shower with Rave. Hailey and Scarlett had not been in the bed. Neither had been Ehtra, which gave John the location of those other two. First thing after sunrise, they had returned to tinkering with the autonomous machine. After the first deployment, he was a little less paranoid about it.

As for the shower, it was a pretty basic yet impressive construction. A movable metal plate separated a tank of water from a number of small holes in the ceiling. A nearby pocket of lava kept it nice and warm, while a careful system of vents assured a level of pressure on the water.

The luxuries that having powerful elementals enabled.

The quickie with Rave was just that. He made her cum once and she finished him off with her hands. Soreness would have been counterproductive. Even as John was in there, he was directing Ehtra’s attention elsewhere.

The activation of the seal had caused all of the parties to step out of their respective camps. Scout forces were clashing or staring at each other from a respectable distance. Sylph was currently getting chased around by a number of Norahnon’s cyborgs. Initially they had tried to hit her with seeker-missiles. They must have deemed that a waste of ammunition after the first volley.

The big players had yet to show.

Breakfast was a tasty porridge and a glass of water. Protein and hydration, the basics of a good start in the day. While they were eating, John formulated a few plans. “We’ll have to move camp after the seal is broken,” he said. “I would like a northern position. Accumulate the advantage and all of that.”

“So, we split the party?” Scarlett asked. She was messing with some kind of box between spoons of porridge. “Part deals with the test, rest deals with scouting out the next base?”

“That would be the idea,” John agreed. “For this first one, I’ll go to the trial alone – and by alone I mean with the elementals.” The Gamer pulled a couple of blades out of his inventory, using Possession on each of them until he had six of them floating behind them. More of the Ego Blades the crafting crew had designed for him. They were unlikely to survive combat, but they would be useful regardless.

“I ain’t a tactician, but wouldn’t it work if we kept the south until the final segment?” Hailey asked.

“It would work,” John happily admitted. “Two reasons against it though. One, we do not know the kind of trials they will be, but Nahua assures us they’ll always be revealed in the northern part of the Glory Road segment we’re in.”

“That’s, like, super true, I promise!” Nahua doubled down on her words.

“It’s generally an advantage to be first. Second, in the north, we can stay against the northeastern corner of the Illusion Barrier. If we stay south, the continuous expansion will mean we either have to stay far behind or the nightly ambushes get an extra direction.”

“Are we afraid of those?” Rave asked.

“No, but it’s best to act as if we are,” the Gamer explained. “Prevents us from making silly mistakes, we’ll make enough of those without giving into my worse instincts.” ‘You got all of that?’ he sent out to the three haremettes out in the field.

‘Roger, roger, disengaging!’

‘I’ll wait for you.’

‘I will clear a path for the rest of your harem creatures.’

“Alright then, time to set out.” Five minutes later, they were parting. Everything was going as discussed, with one slight exception. “I believe I said I would go with the elementals.”

“I believe you have no jurisdiction over me,” Nahua answered flippantly. “Would you like to try and exert it?”

The Gamer scratched the back of his head. “Suit yourself,” he gave in quickly. There was no drawback to having her around and if there was any reading involved, it was best to have her there. Interpreting pictographs was an art he was decent at, but why not have a native around to make it clearer?

The seal that was plastered onto the northern wall of the Illusion Barrier was gradually changing. Eight lines crossed the crimson circle, forming a different version of that shape John was familiar with from Eliana’s eyes. Those eight lines were slowly moving deeper into the circle, gradually assuming more of a wheel shape.

John marched up the Glory Road. The crimson pavement pulsed disgustingly under his feet. It was like he was walking on alive rubber. It made his skin crawl. Energy was being sapped out of these overlapping stakes and towards the seal.

In the corner of his eye, John saw Glory and War emerge from the forest. The two Horsemen trotted along on their mighty steeds. Zelos was all decadence, from his golden steed to the armour that sported more decorations than a Pope’s death garb. White and radiant, the necromantic energies of the wraith hung around his skeleton. Glory displayed his undeath proudly.

Ares was different. His steed was a ghoulish thing, its bulk covered in wounds that would never heal. A number of rust red plates had been nailed into the flesh itself. War was clad in battle-marked armour of the same red colour, although it was difficult to say if that was paint or blood that had never been washed off. It was all cruel in appearance.

“Hail,” Zelos greeted John.

“Hello there,” John greeted back. His body was tense, his elementals invisible beside him. Up in the sky, Sylph kept on zapping around. Arcane projectiles were shot up into the sky by Liakan. It was the kind of attack that did not cost resources worth mentioning and was done purely on the chance of a lucky strike.

“I hope you look forward to the hostilities as much as I do,” Zelos chatted happily. “It has been too long since we had challengers worthy of the name.” Ares grunted in agreement.

“Difficult to be as enthusiastic about it when you’re mortal,” John answered.

“You could change that. Our Lord, Death, may take you into the fold. It would be an adequate repayment for the troubles you have caused.”

John could not withhold the air that mockingly pushed out of his nostrils. “That would be overpaying a thousand times over.”

“Ah, undue arrogance…” Glory clicked his tongue. “To be young and unafraid of the inevitable. You will learn soon, I suppose.”

They continued on together to the current end of the Glory Road. There was a plaza there that had not existed the day before. The road continued on through it without pause. A semi-circle of flat stone and variously sized, senseless obstacles surrounded it. John recognized an artificial battlefield when he saw one.

In its midst stood Xipe-Totec. The Flayer Lord stained the ground with fresh blood, oozing from his exposed fibres. Excitement vibrated through his being. Behind him was a device, of some kind. A fountain crafted from obsidian and red veins. If it had been in a video game, John would have considered it to belong to some demonic faction.

The Gamer and the Horsemen stopped at a respectful distance from each other. Liakan appeared at a nearby corner. That she was without Singed and Karia was only minorly surprising. If John had planned to advance rapidly, so would the Azure Tribe.

“It is almost time,” Xipe-Totec hissed, raising his knife-fingers to the seal. “Your first trial: Spill your vitality. Hurt each other. Kill each other. Fill the Blood Fountain. Fuel the trials ahead of you with your conflict! Sacrifice! Torment! Toil! Skinnnnnnnn.” The fingers wiggled like the scalpels of a mad surgeon.

‘Absolute maniac,’ John thought. “Any rules?”

“No alliances,” Xipe-Totec answered. “All that are within the battleground are your enemies. I cannot force you to strike those in your faction, but all wounds and pain caused feed the Blood Fountain. Death is best. If you wish to fight beyond the circle, I will not stop you either.” The Flayer Lord kept twitching, glaring up at the seal. “There is no barrier to keep you inside. There is nothing stopping you from fleeing, except the shame. Call your reinforcements if you will. SLAUGHTER!”

Red flashed as the transformation of the seal into the emblem of a wheel became complete. Lines turned into crimson spokes. The Flayer Lord surged forward. John was everything but surprised. Everything was an enemy and the Flayer Lord would not lose an opportunity to kill.

Surprise came a moment later.

Had Sylph not been far above, he would have missed it. Even the blaring of the horns would not have warned him in time. One Magus Step got him out of the way of the first claw strike of the Flayer Lord. Nahua was too slow to react in any fashion. Fortunately for her, then, the rocket-propelled golf cart slammed into the side of the god-warrior first.

‘Sometimes the Abyss is frankly hilarious,’ John thought.

Magical fuel kept burning within the six rockets strapped to the side of the small car’s chassis. Even after Xipe-Totec had been slammed into the side of one of the, remarkably sturdy, stone formations that littered the battlefield, the golf cart kept flying.

John called it a golf cart because of its shape, but that did not do the vehicle justice. The chassis was made entirely from Mithril, the bumper was a formation of Astrotium. Since they could not forge the metal, the owner of the golf cart had opted to bolt the raw meteorite chunks into a grid. The lights were made out of gemstones the size of John’s head. Even the airbags were stitched together from some kind of expensive spider silk.

The owner of the car was visible because of his messy white hair first. It stuck out while he fought his way out of the airbags. “I told you they were too sensitive!” Norahnon complained.

“And I told you not to use it!” Malady’s voice echoed from a speaker.

“I will not be upstaged by that redheaded upstart!”

“YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR SKIN!” the Flayer Lord screamed. A swing of his thin arm dislodged the golf cart. The airbag kept Norahnon pressed into the seat, while the entirety of the vehicle, still propelled by the rockets, tumbled and twisted through the air. Xipe-Totec jumped after it, howling with murderous intent.

John vaguely noticed Norahnon hammering on a button.

Mid-air, the golf cart began to transform. The rockets spread out into stabilizing positions while the chassis split open. Surface plates rearranged themselves. More of them came out of dimensional pockets. Bit by bit, what had been a comedically crafted vehicle turned into power armour big enough to dwarf even the Flayer Lord.

It was a bulky thing, with a flat head on an otherwise humanoid form. One pair of rocks was at the back, one strapped to the sides of the lower legs, and the last two to the back of the arms. All over, support devices activated, from the energy fields in the palms to a mana shield made of hexagonal segments. Blue, white, and red, it hovered above the battlefield.

“What is that?” Nahua shouted.

“The absurdity of the modern age!” That was the best answer John had in him.

A super-speaker activated with a loud click, then the voice of the French scientist was heard by all. “THIS IS MY GORGEOUS-ULTIMATE-NEW-DESTROYER-ATTACK-MACHINE-NORAHNON!” A dishevelled tide of white hair suddenly spread out from the flat head of the suit. “IN SHORT, ITS MY GUNDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!”

Xipe-Totec was slammed in the chest by two beams of hyper-concentrated mana.