CHAPTER 88: NOT A SLUT

Hailee’s POV

After taking a warm bath, I collapsed on my bed, thinking about the drastic turn of events in my life, when suddenly, a text message popped up on my phone.

It was Callum.

Callum: Hey. How did the talk with Nathan go?

I stared at the message for a second, then typed back:

Me: It went okay. He agreed.

A pause. Then another buzz.

Callum: That’s good. Can I call you? Just for a minute?

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

Me: I’m really sleepy, Cal. Can we talk tomorrow?

Callum: Alright. Goodnight. Sleep well.

Me: *Night :) *

I had barely set the phone down before it buzzed again.

Dane.

Dane: Are you really okay?

I hesitated, but replied:

Me: Yeah. I’m okay. Just tired. Goodnight, Dane.

Dane: Goodnight, Hailee.

I tried to relax... but peace didn’t come. Because right on cue, another message popped up.

Nathan.

Nathan: Did you get home safely?

Me: Yeah. I’m home. Just tired. Goodnight.

I placed the phone aside again and pulled the blanket up.

But it rang.

Nathan was calling.

I immediately hit end.

Seconds later, another text lit up the screen.

Nathan: Don’t ignore me, Hailee. If you don’t pick up this call, I’ll be at your window in ten minutes.

I stared at the message, my frown deepening. Seriously?

The phone started buzzing again. This time, I didn’t hit decline. I answered, my voice tired and flat.

"Hello?"

There was a short silence on the other end, then Nathan’s voice—low and concerned. "What’s wrong with you?"

I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight. "I told you... I’m just tired."

"No," he said. "This is something else. You’re shutting down. Your responses to my texts seem off."

I bit my lip and looked away, even though he couldn’t see me.

"I’m fine, Nathan."

"You’re not," he said. "And I want to know why. What’s going on in your head, Hailee?"

"Nothing, Nathan... I’m just sleepy," I whispered, hoping he would believe my lies.

Nathan responded immediately. "Put on the camera... let’s talk on video call."

I frowned. "Nathan..."

He cut me off.

"If you don’t... I’ll be at your place in ten. The choice is yours."

I sighed, my fingers hesitating over the screen before finally tapping the video icon. The camera blinked to life.

Nathan was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning forward slightly, his concerned eyes fixed on me. I was lying on my side, my hair still damp from the bath, my blanket pulled up to my chin.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t scold me. He just... stared.

His gaze was steady, unreadable, but heavy enough to make my chest feel tight.

Finally, his voice broke the silence. "Your eyes..." he murmured softly, "they tell me everything I need to know. You’re not okay."

I swallowed hard, but couldn’t bring myself to answer.

"Please," he added gently. "Talk to me, Hailee."

My lip trembled. My chest ached. And before I knew it, the words were spilling out.

"I feel like..." My voice cracked, my throat closing around the admission. "I feel like a slut, Nathan."

His brows furrowed instantly, but I kept talking before he could interrupt.

"I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’ve never been like this. I’ve never... wanted so many things. I’ve never been torn like this. And now... now I’m lying here and I feel dirty."

My breathing hitched, my eyes burning as hot tears spilled over.

"I used to be strong," I whispered brokenly. "I used to know who I was. But lately... I don’t even know myself. I can’t even look in the mirror without wondering who that girl is."

My sobs grew louder, my whole body shaking beneath the blanket.

Nathan didn’t say a word. He just sat there, eyes never leaving me, letting me pour it all out.

"I feel like I’ve lost control over myself," I continued, my voice almost a whimper. "And I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like... like I’m being torn into pieces."

Through the blur of my tears, I saw him inhale deeply, his jaw clenching—not in anger, but like he was holding back his own emotions.

"Hailee..." he said finally, his voice low and rough. "You are not what you think you are. And I won’t let you believe that about yourself."

"But..." I tried to speak, but he interrupted me.

"But nothing," Nathan cut me off firmly, his voice deep and authoritative. "Hailee, listen to me... you’re not dirty. You’re not a slut. You’re human. You’re... confused, yeah, but that doesn’t make you less. It doesn’t erase who you are."

I shook my head, my lip trembling again. "You don’t understand—"

"I do," he said quickly, leaning closer toward the camera. "I understand more than you think."

His words made my throat ache even more, and I buried my face partly in my pillow, wishing I could hide from his eyes.

"You’re lost right now," he continued softly, "and maybe you’ve made choices you’re not proud of. But none of that changes your worth to me."

His gaze softened, the rough edge of his voice melting into something warmer. "None of it makes me see you any less than I always have."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fresh tears streaming down. "Then why do I feel so... dirty?"

"Because you are making decisions you never imagined you could," he replied, his voice dropping even lower. "Because you’re scared to lose everyone, so you’re tearing yourself apart trying to keep them all."

A small sob escaped me as I whispered, "I don’t know how to fix this."

"You don’t have to know tonight," he said gently. "Just... one step at a time."

I sniffled, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

"You are not a slut. You are not disgusting. You are not less than. And anyone who makes you feel that way—including your own damn mind—is lying to you."

My bottom lip trembled again.

His lips curled faintly, not in a smile, but in something sadder, deeper. "You’re still my Hailee. The girl who’s stubborn enough to drive me insane, but strong enough to survive anything. You’re the woman I—" He stopped, exhaling sharply, shaking his head as if catching himself before saying too much. "You’re worth everything to me. Even now."

My heart squeezed so tightly in my chest I could hardly breathe.

Nathan’s gaze softened even more. "Tomorrow evening, I’m taking you somewhere."

I sniffled, my brows furrowing slightly. "Where?"

A faint smirk tugged at his lips. "You’ll see. But I promise... no heavy talks. Just you, me, and a place that makes you forget everything else for a while."

I let out a shaky breath. "Sounds... nice."

He leaned a little closer to the camera, a spark flickering in his eyes. "And until then... I’m going to make you laugh, because I refuse to hang up while you’re still pouting at me like that."

I rolled my eyes slightly. "I’m not pouting."

"You are," he countered with mock seriousness. "Your bottom lip is sticking out so far, I’m surprised it hasn’t knocked over your phone yet."

A small, unwilling laugh escaped me. "You’re ridiculous."

"Ridiculously charming," he corrected, leaning back dramatically as if he had just won something.

I shook my head, my lips curving just a little.

"There it is," he murmured softly. "God... you have no idea how beautiful you are when you smile."

Heat crept up my cheeks, but before I could respond, he leaned toward his phone and pressed his lips to the screen in a playful, gentle kiss.

My chest squeezed, a warm fluttering feeling settling in my heart.

"Goodnight, Hailee," he said quietly, his voice carrying that weight again—the kind that made me feel like I meant more to him than I could ever understand. "I love you."

I opened my mouth, my heart pounding. "Nathan, I—"

He cut me off softly. "Don’t pressure yourself. Just... sleep. That’s all I want you to do tonight."

I swallowed hard, nodding. "Okay."

"Goodnight, my stubborn girl," he whispered. And before I could say another word, the call ended, leaving me staring at the darkened screen...

Staring at the screen, I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me that I’m deeply in love with Nathan.

If that’s it, that means I’m choosing to be with him, right?

But as that thought settled in my heart, so did another. Loving Nathan didn’t erase the way I felt about Callum or Dane. My heart ached with the truth I hadn’t wanted to admit—I love Nathan, but that doesn’t mean I feel any less for the other two.

I love Nathan. I love Callum. I love Dane. Different pieces of me belong to each of them, and I can’t imagine giving any of them up.