h4Chapter 149: Still Love Her/h4

    Nathan’s POV

    It’s been two years. Two fucking years.

    And still, I can’t get her out of my head.

    Every night, her facees back to me. Her voice. Herugh. The way her eyes lit up when she looked at me, like I was the only man in the world. I should hate her. I told her I did. I told her never to call me again. I told her I wished I’d never met her.

    But those words were lies, all of them. Because even now, when I close my eyes, all I see is her. All I feel is the hole she left behind.

    She told me she was married. She told me she chose someone else. But no matter how many times I rey that call in my head, something doesn’t add up. She disappeared like smoke. No trace. No trail. And gods, I searched.

    I tore through towns, packs, borders. I chased rumors, shadows, anything that could lead me to her. But it was like she had vanished from the face of the earth.

    And it’s driving me insane.

    Tonight, I snapped. Tonight, I decided I was done waiting, done starving myself of a female touch. Two years of torture, two years of pain—and not once had I let another woman close. Until now.

    Tonight, I decided to feel the touch of a woman.

    She was pretty. That was all I told myself as I brought her into my room. A distraction. Just that. Her dark hair fell over her shoulders, her lips curved in an eager smile. She kissed me quickly, hungrily, her hands moving against my chest as if she already owned me.

    Her dress slipped to the floor. She climbed over me, pressing her mouth down to my throat, kissing lower, lower, until her fingers pulled at my belt.

    I let her.

    When she wrapped her lips around my cock, when her tongue moved, when her hands worked—I waited for it. The spark. The fire. The rush of desire I remembered so well.

    But nothing came.

    Nothing.

    Her mouth moved, her tongue teased, her hands gripped my cock tighter. But all I felt was emptiness. Hollow. Cold. Wrong.

    My jaw locked. My chest ached. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, my voice sharp.

    "Stop."

    She froze, confusion flickering in her eyes. "Did I... do something wrong?"

    I shook my head, dragging a hand over my face. "No. It’s not you."

    She hesitated, her lips parting like she wanted to ask more. But I couldn’t stand the way she looked at me. Not when every flicker in her eyes only reminded me of Hailee’s.

    "Just take the money and leave," I said.

    Her face fell. She gathered her clothes silently, slipping out the door without another word.

    The quiet hit hard. I leaned back on the bed, fists clenched, chest heaving.

    Two years. Two years, and still no one else fit. No one else touched me the way she had. And maybe no one ever could. I told myself it was love, but sometimes it felt more like a curse—an addiction I couldn’t break, even if it destroyed me.

    Suddenly a sharp knock broke through the quiet.

    My head snapped toward the door, a growl already low in my throat. "What?"

    The door creaked open, and my Beta-to-be stepped inside. His eyes flicked over me—my unbuttoned shirt, the tension in my jaw—but he didn’tment. He knew better than to.

    "Alpha," he said evenly, bowing his head. "Forgive me for disturbing you thiste, but the elders insisted Ie."

    I swung my legs off the bed, running a hand over my face. "What is it?"

    He cleared his throat. "Tomorrow is your coronation."

    I nodded once. "I know that."

    He hesitated, then added carefully, "And the elders are asking... if you have chosen someone to stand beside you. To take the title of Luna."

    My jaw tightened. My wolf snarled inside me, restless, angry at the words. Luna. The word tasted bitter.

    I pushed to my feet, pacing the room, the floorboards groaning under my steps. "Are they trying to force me to pick a Luna?"

    He didn’t answer right away, but I felt his worried gaze on me. "They want to know if their Alpha has a partner. A queen for his throne."

    I stopped at the window, staring into the ck stretch of night. Hailee’s face flooded my mind again, sharp and cruel in its beauty. My chest burned.

    A Luna.

    The only one I ever wanted already left me.

    Behind me, my Beta cleared his throat. "Nathan... forgive me if I overstep, but you need to hear this."

    My head tilted slightly, but I didn’t turn. "Go on."

    He shifted his weight, then spoke. "Hailee is noting back. It’s been two years. No trace. No word. Nothing. You can’t keep living like a ghost chasing her shadow. The pack needs an Alpha, not an Alpha lost in the past."

    My chest rose and fell hard, but I stayed silent.

    He stepped closer, lowering his voice like he was afraid of my temper but determined anyway. "There are women here who would give everything to stand by your side. Strong women. Loyal women. You could build alliances. Strengthen the pack. Leona, daughter of Alpha Caine. Even ra, Alpha Mateo’s eldest daughter. Both would make fine Lunas."

    I grit my teeth. Leona. ra. Empty names. Empty promises. They meant nothing.

    But then he said it.

    "And Hailee?" His voice sharpened, as if annoyed to mention her name. "She doesn’t deserve you, Nathan. A girl who spread her legs for three different men in one day? She spat on your love. She humiliated you. That kind of woman is no Luna—she’s a whore."

    The words snapped something inside me.

    Before I knew it, I was across the room. My hand mmed into his throat, shoving him hard against the wall. The wood groaned under the impact. My wolf raged in my chest, ws scraping to the surface.

    "Careful," I growled, my voice low and ragged, my wolf stirring angrily inside me. His eyes widened, his hands gripping my wrist, but I squeezed tighter. "That woman you’re spitting on—that’s my Hailee. My life. You hear me?"

    His face flushed red, his breath catching.

    I leaned in closer, my eyes burning into his. "You’re my Beta. My best friend. And that’s the only reason I don’t rip your throat out right here. So you’ll take this as a warning." My grip tightened onest time before I shoved him away. He stumbled, gasping for air, rubbing his neck.

    "Don’t ever speak her name like that again," I snarled. "Not in front of me. Not in front of anyone."

    He bowed his head quickly, his voice hoarse. "Yes, Alpha."

    I turned away, my chest heaving, rage boiling under my skin. But beneath the fury, the ache still bled through. Because no matter what he said, no matter what anyone thought—Hailee was mine. She would always be mine. I still love her, even if she never returned. And if waiting for her meant rotting in this emptiness forever, then so be it.

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