CHAPTER 63: CANDIES AND KISSES

Chapter Sixty Three

My feet carried us to a small park a few blocks away, where the noise of the city faded to a distant hum. The moment we stopped, everything inside me shattered.

The sobs came like a dam bursting, violent and raw. My knees buckled and I collapsed onto a bench, my whole body convulsing with grief I’d kept locked away for these.

Kieran didn’t say anything. He just sat beside me and pulled me against his chest, his arms wrapping around me so tightly I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek. One hand cradled the back of my head while the other rubbed slow circles on my back.

"It’s okay," he whispered into my hair, his voice softer than I’d heard it in years. "I’ve got you. You’re safe."

But I wasn’t okay. Four years of buried pain poured out of me - the nights I’d cried myself to sleep, wondering what was wrong with me, the way I’d thrown away every doll and scrubbed the polish from my nails, hoping Dad would come back, the guilt of knowing his leaving was my fault.

Kieran held me through all of it, never loosening his grip, never telling me to stop. His shirt grew damp with my tears, but he didn’t seem to care. He just held me like he used to when we were kids and I’d scraped my knee or had a nightmare during one of our sleepovers.

When the worst of it finally passed, I became painfully aware of how I must look. Red-eyed, snotty, clinging to the boy who’d spent years tormenting me. I tried to pull away, embarrassment creeping in, but Kieran’s arms tightened, keeping me close to him.

"What did you see in there?" His voice was gentle but firm, demanding an answer.

I knew he remembered my father from when we were kids, but by the time my parents divorced, we’d already fallen apart. He probably didn’t even know when they separated.

"I saw my dad there," I confessed, my voice hoarse. "I thought I was over it. I wanted to confront him, ask him all the questions I’ve held for years, but I couldn’t."

Fresh tears started falling and I quickly wiped them away, frustrated with myself.

"He was there with... with some woman. He looked happy. I don’t want to hate him, but I do, I really do," I whispered, the words scraping my throat raw.

"I understand, I get you," His voice was so low that I almost didn’t hear him.

But I did.

And his eyes, those silver steel, did something to me. I felt seen, someone understood the resentment I felt.

The words began to tumble out before I could stop them. "I hate him for leaving us. Why did he always make me feel that I wasn’t the son he wanted? He made me believe that he was so disgusted with me and couldn’t stay, and the whole time he was cheating on my mom, he had a whole different family"

"Ollie" Kieran pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes blazing with an intensity that made my breath catch. "Listen to me. What happened - what he did - that’s on him. Not you. Never you."

His hands cupped my face, thumbs brushing away new tears.

The certainty in his voice, the way he looked at me like I was worth defending, made my heart stutter. In a good way. No, a very bad way!

I could see myself falling.

This was bad!

I looked away from his gaze just as Kieran reached into his pocket and pulled something out.

A small wrapped candy.

Without a word, he placed it in my palm.

I stared at it, a laugh bubbling up through my tears. "Really? I’m not eight anymore."

"You always felt better after candy," he said simply.

The gesture was so achingly familiar it made my chest tight. Whenever I’d cried as a child, Kieran had always appeared with candy from his pocket. After our friendship ended, I’d started hating sweets - they reminded me too much of what I’d lost.

But this one, offered by him with such gentle care, made warmth spread through my chest.

I unwrapped it slowly and placed it on my tongue, the sweetness a stark contrast to the salt of my tears. We sat in comfortable silence, and for the first time since seeing my father, I could breathe normally.

"Thank you," I whispered, leaning to relax against the bench. I wasn’t thanking him for the sweet, but the fact that he’d cared enough to comfort me while I’d stupidly let the tears burst from my eyes. He hadn’t made fun of me nor called me a crybaby, he’d just held me while I stained him with snot.

No no no

Stop thinking about it!

’He treated you nicely for once and you’re going to fall for him? YOU ARE SO CHEAP OLIVER!! ’ A mini me dressed in a black devilish cloak screamed into my ears as it bounced on my shoulder in outrage, to snap me out of the pit I was falling into.

’Don’t save me, I don’t want to be saved! Let me fall!’ The mini me dressed in a white cloak with a halo above its head argued back.

I rolled my eyes at them. It was bold of them to assume I would follow any of their decisions.

I am ME!

Hmph!

I do things my way!!!

The candy dissolved quickly - I’d always been impatient with sweets, crunching them between my teeth instead of letting them melt.

"Do you have another one?" I asked, extending my hand expectantly, I just knew he had more than one.

Kieran’s lips curved in a small devious smile. "I was saving it for myself, but..." He pulled out another candy, holding it just out of reach. "You may have to pay for this one,"

"Forget it then," I scoffed, just knowing that his price would be too heavy for me to pay.

"Tsk, even if you don’t take it, you still owe me," He reached over to pat my hair, and I tried to shrink away, but it was too late.

"What kind of logic was that? And stop petting me like a dog."

His hair was still perfectly styled, I would be the only one walking around like I’d been struck by lightning.

His hand was still on my hair, and it was the perfect time to attack. I snatched the new candy from his grip, tearing it open and shoving it into my mouth before he could stop me.

I sucked on the new candy with glee, take that for letting your guard down!

"I told you I really wanted it, Ollie," Kieran voice dropped in a way that made the hairs on my nape rise, and I became increasingly aware of how intently Kieran was watching me.

He’d moved closer on the bench, close enough that I could smell his cologne.

"Don’t even think about it," I said with my mouth full, wetting the candy even more. No way he would want it when it’s been contaminated.

Hehehehehe

This was a smart move, I chuckled inwardly, and then visibly made a show of running the tip of my tongue over the lollipop just to taunt him.

Wait. . .

Something wasn’t right.

Maybe it was because Kieran was watching me too closely and his gaze felt even darker than before. He made a low deep sound in his throat that made my stomach flip.

Don’t tell me he thought I was giving him a . . . Signal??!

No way!

Hell no!

Feeling self-conscious under his stare, I bit down on the candy, breaking it into pieces in my mouth.

There.

Now he definitely couldn’t have it and if he was thinking anything else, I was shattering it right away.

I looked at him smugly, but my triumph was short-lived as his hand shot out to grasp the back of my neck, and his fingers tangled into my hair.

Our eyes met for just a second - his dark and intense, mine wide with surprise - before he pulled me forward and pressed his lips against mine.

The kiss was firm, demanding. His tongue swept into my mouth, collecting every broken piece of candy with deliberate slowness. The sweetness mixed with the taste of him made my head spin.

When he finally pulled back just enough to speak, his lips still brushing mine, he murmured, "Candy always tastes sweeter from your mouth."

Before I could process his words, he was kissing me again. Only this time, something in me responded. My hands fisted in his shirt and I kissed him back, pouring all my confused emotions into the connection between us.