CHAPTER 94: SMOKES AND MIRRORS II

Chapter NINETY FOUR

**OLIVER WEST**

"You cannot smoke here, the nurse will be furious when she returns," I said, watching Heath pull out a cigarette pack. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the lighter.

I couldn’t imagine getting another detention for breaking school policy.

Heath didn’t say anything but walked outside to the small balcony attached to the nurse’s room. I found myself following him, bunching the torn waistband of my trousers which had been ripped because of Kieran.

Heath was already lighting up the dangling cigarette between his lips when I stepped outside. I stood beside him on the balcony. I wasn’t sure he needed my presence, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to leave him when he looked this shaken.

The late afternoon sun caught the highlights in his brownish hair, messy and unkempt like he’d been running his fingers through it all day. His coffee brown eyes looked hollow, haunted in a way that made me feel all the more bad for him.

The small silver earring in his left ear caught the light as he turned his head away from me to exhale the stream of smoke from his nostrils.

He looked every bit the bad boy he was supposed to be - leather jacket, expensive jeans, that rebellious edge that made girls swoon. And even boys.

But right now, all I could see was how broken he looked underneath it all.

"You shouldn’t be smoking," I said quietly, breaking the silence.

Why did I even say that?

I’m sure he doesn’t need me to tell him what or what not to do. It wasn’t my place to give him any advice.

Heath looked at me, taking another long drag and letting out a bitter laugh.

"You heard everything. Why do you always discover my embarrassing moments?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, he didn’t look angry or anything, but the intense cut of his eyes made me squirm. Just like when I’d discovered him in the closet with Matt the first time.

"Don’t worry, you still look cool in my eyes even if you cry!" I gave him a thumbs up, and my awkward smile fell off when he just stared at me silently for long moments, his face turned even redder.

Okay, that was inadequate and extremely childish to say.

Heath exhaled another gust of nicotine-filled air, when he spoke again, there was a mix of pain in his voice.

"You have no idea how much it hurts, going from best friends to... this." His shoulders slumped dejectedly, guilt shimmering in his eyes.

"I understand more than you know," I whispered before I could hold back the words.

Heath studied my face through the smoke, his coffee brown eyes searching mine.

"You and Kieran?"

I nodded, my throat tight. "We were best friends when we were kids. Then something happened, and he hated me for years. I thought he’d never forgive me."

I didn’t mention Ginny, I couldn’t bring myself to say her name out loud. But Heath seemed to sense there was more to the story, something huge and painful that had torn us apart before somehow bringing us back together.

His expression softened slightly."How did you get past it?" He sounded so lost, I wished I had a perfect answer for him.

"Time heals everything, I guess? Both parties are willing to talk about it also helps"

Heath took another drag of his cigarette, and I could see his hands still trembling. "I feel so guilty about Matt. We got too drunk at that party, and Claude was there, and I... I didn’t mean for it to happen. But I can’t even look at Matt anymore without wanting to throw up. How do you face someone when you’ve betrayed them like that?"

The pain in his voice was raw, real. I could see how much he loved Matt, how much this mistake was destroying him from the inside out.

My heart clenched. I wanted to tell him about what I’d seen, about Matt and the other guy, but the words stuck in my throat. In Heath’s emotional state, I didn’t know if it would help or make everything worse.

"It sucks to smoke alone, shorty legs. Let’s race to see who finishes a pipe first,"

Heath said suddenly, and before I knew it, he pinned his arm around my shoulder and held out a cigarette to me. His grip was surprisingly strong for someone who looked so defeated.

"No, I don’t smoke..."

"You can’t be the goody two-shoes all of the time, you need to learn how to break some rules!"

"Heath, no I..."

How do I even tell him that I was afraid of every kind of smoke?!

It wasn’t even about being a good guy, I couldn’t imagine filling my lungs with smoke, I felt suffocated by the mere thought of it.

I started to pull away from him, but a strong hand yanked me back against a familiar built chest and cologne before I could finish the sentence.

"Kieran?" I squeaked, lifting my head to look at him while he glared at Heath, knocking off the cigarette Heath had been extending to me to the ground.

Heath snorted, taking another drag of his own cigarette that was nearly burnt out. "Relax, Morrison. I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend. Just thought shorty legs here could use some stress relief."

"He gets all the stress relief he needs from me," Kieran said, his arm tightening around my waist.

The way he said it made my face burn again. Why did he say the cringiest things!

"Kieran!" I grabbed the spare track trousers Kieran had brought along with him. So, in the end, he brought his own cloth instead of mine!

"Jesus, you’re like a guard dog," Heath muttered, but there was amusement in his voice now despite his earlier pain. "Does he follow you when you use the toilet too?"

"What do you think?" Kieran answered without missing a beat, my insides felt squishy when Kieran’s gaze lingered on my face. "I’ll carry him in my pockets if that’s possible,"

"Kieran!" I squeaked again, mortified.

Heath’s eyebrows shot up. "Damn, Morrison. That’s some next-level possessive right there."

"It’s called taking care of what’s important to me, you should try it sometime."

Heath’s face crumpled slightly as though he’d just remembered the situation he was caught in and I felt bad for him all over again.

"Must be nice, having someone who gives a damn," Heath said quietly, stubbing out his cigarette.