CHAPTER 107: HIKING WITH ANALISE (3)

They remained silent for a moment before Analise asked, "Have you really never heard Nickelback?"

"Have you?"

"Oh, um, now that you ask, I’m not sure that I have."

"Well, we have more than an hour before we get to the trailhead, so let’s give them a listen."

His phone was already linked to the Land cruiser’s sound system, so he unlocked it and handed it to her. She opened up the music app and did a search.

"How about their album from 2014?"

"Sure."

The music started playing, and at first, it seemed fine. It sounded like a professional band, but there was something off. Eventually Analise turned to him and said, "It sounds like a watered down imitation of Disturbed."

"That’s it. It sounded like something. I just couldn’t put a name on it. Skip to the next song."

She tapped on the song list and the next song started.

At the same time, they both said, "Kid Rock." It really did remind him of Kid Rock. He wasn’t really a fan of Kid rock, but he’d heard the dude’s music. Or, more accurately, Jacob had subjected him to it.

They played a few more songs, but each one sounded like an imitation of a different genre. The production quality was high, and they were clearly a talented group, but everything they made seemed to be derivative.

"Maybe there was something to what all those Internet haters were saying," he said. "They’re not bad. If you said you wanted to listen to them, I wouldn’t mind. But if I had a choice, I’d choose something else."

"I know what you mean," she said. "It’s like they don’t have a style that’s all their own."

"So, what kind of music do you like?" he asked.

"It depends on my mood. I mostly like electronic, some jazz, classical, and some heavy metal, like Disturbed and some System of a Down. What about you?"

"I think I like most music. Some heavy metal, like Disturbed, and even some thrash metal is fine. But the stuff that just sounds like someone is screaming into the microphone while playing their guitar with a rake? That’s not my scene."

She chuckled at his description.

He continued, "Fran would play some old school big band jazz, and I liked that, but I wasn’t crazy about some of the more... how do I put this, experimental jazz? If it doesn’t have a baseline and a melody, is it really music?"

"Oh, I know what you’re talking about. Some jazz can be real weird. But here, let me play something and see what you think."

The music that started playing was chill, smooth, with vocals in a foreign language.

"What is this?"

"It’s a genre of jazz called Bossa Nova. What do you think?"

"It’s nice, relaxing. It sounds like the kind of thing I’d expect to hear as background music in a beach bar."

She turned the volume down then asked, "So, remember the other day when you told me some girl at that club humped you leg?"

"Sure do."

If only she hadn’t turned out to be into essential oils and other woo woo shit. But what was it Jacob said? ’Don’t stick you dick in crazy.’ Seemed like good advice.

"Did you like it? I mean, did you like that she was so forward, so assertive?"

"Mostly, yes. It’s nice when a girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. In her case, she was a bit aggressive. She didn’t start by dancing really close, then bumping into me. She just latched on, grabbed my ass, and started humping my leg. Surprised the hell out of me. She wasn’t scarry aggressive, just hungry aggressive, so I let it slide."

"Heh, let it slide," she chuckled. "Did she leave a snail trail on your leg?"

"Ha!" he barked a laugh. "No, she didn’t, or at least not that I noticed."

"Would it have bothered you if she did?"

"In her case, yes, a little. If it was Miranda, or you, no, probably not."

"So, you’re saying I can hump you leg if I want?" she asked teasingly.

His brain superimposed Analise’s face over Wendy’s body in his memory of that night, and he felt his little monster stir in his pants.

"Sure, as long as you’re not a cock tease about it."

"Hmm, too bad you can’t take me to that club."

"Oh, I can. I just can’t let you hump my leg while you’re there. It’s a high-class place and they don’t allow such behavior. It’s mainly to protect the girls. If guys see a girl acting like that, they might think they can expect her to do the same for them as well."

"Ah, makes sense. So, um, you can take me? Just no leg humping?"

"Sure, we can go sometime."

"Great! I love dancing."

So did he. Mostly for the scenery. But he was starting to get comfortable dancing as well.

"So, um, back to the leg humper," she said, "You said you turned her down. Was it because she came on too strong?"

"No. I was seriously considering taker her and the dancer back to my hotel room. That is until I found out the dancer was seriously selfish and the leg humper was into woo woo shit."

"Woo woo shit?"

"Yeah, reiki, essential oils, probably crystals too. And she’s pre-med! I just couldn’t take her seriously after that."

"So, if she wasn’t into woo woo shit, you would have..."

"Taken her back to my hotel room and fucked her brains out while Miranda watched? Yes."

"Wait, why would you make her-"

"No. That’s not something I’d force Miranda to do. She just, she likes it when I make her wait."

"Ah, okay. I think I understand. So, what if leg humper wasn’t into woo woo shit, but she admitted to sleeping with lots of guys?"

"Do you mean, had lots of boyfriends or slept with a different guy every weekend?"

"Um, I meant the first, but I’m also curious about the second. Would you consider her dirty, sullied, damaged goods?"