CHAPTER 82: FAMILY...

Amine and Hana said nothing, because they couldn’t say anything to him. Yeah, they felt the pressure too, they felt that this day, like the shopping, the good atmosphere between them was just a fucking act and nothing more... the real Joseph Cassian is not going to be a happy one, not going to be one that loves, that cares... no, he is going to be one that looks exactly how he looks now and acts... yeah, acts.

To hear it from him... that he protects the family, and kills whoever he needs to, to be able to protect it... but protect exactly what? What does the family mean?

Yeah, it was a strange phenomenon... because up until this point, he did not speak about the family much, and to be true, he doesn’t even know about the family... he only knows Pablo and the girls, and no one else... and a question came from this.

Why would he protect, why would he kill for a family that he doesn’t even know about... it is the Cassian family, but he is the only one that is from the bloodline. He is the only one that went through all of the shit... everybody else in the family, yeah, they have their own darkness, but nobody is connected to the goal of the family.

To be true nobody knows what the goal of the family is... there isn’t a straight answer for it.

Nobody knows it, not even Joseph himself.

People talk and think about the greatness he could achieve, but in his own mind, in his own little world, he doesn’t even consider it... he doesn’t even think about what he could accomplish or what he could become.

But those are just thoughts, those are just goals that people project onto him... but the right question, the most important one... is what his goal is, on his own, with all of it, now that he is embracing this lifestyle, embracing the name itself.

Yeah, that too was something he never thought he would actually do... that the name he hates the most, the name that caused him the most suffering, the name that betrayed him... he’s going to embrace it... going to live with it, and in the end... he’s going to be the one and only who still bears it, who is the last remnant of the bloodline. Everything changed so much during those ten years that... there isn’t even a straight answer to what he even thought about all that time... what he even thought about the future... well, there is an answer to it.

He thought nothing about the future... he only thought about death. Death that surrounded him all his life, death that came with love, death that came with betrayal, death that came with satisfactions. Yeah, the key point of his mentality is that... everything is surrounded by death... and when all you know is death, that’s all you think about... while starving, while the torture scars burn into your back, while your mind slowly starts to shatter, while you start to hear the voices, while all the shit surrounding you is just darkness.

There is no future for somebody like that, there is no light, there is no hope, nothing... only death, playing in your mind back to back every single second... that’s how good it would be... to rest.

But then something happens... your mind, your whole being shatters into little pieces... into fragments. Your body, your mind, your entire system just can’t keep it together anymore, can’t keep you sane, can’t help you tell what’s right and what’s wrong. Everything breaks apart. And what comes after might be the most unbelievable phenomenon that can happen to a human being or at least to those who are defined by their very essence.

You start rebuilding. You start piecing back together everything... but that rebuilding can give birth to the worst of the worst kinds of humans.

A shattered mind? A psychopath? A serial killer? A criminal mastermind?

Anything can happen. It all depends on you, on your soul, on that small thing inside you, that spark, that faint fire that keeps you human and when you begin fitting back those fragments... it can either put out the fire or fuel it.

And that’s the terrifying truth, rebuilding is never the same as being whole. What is broken can never return untouched, never return pure. Every piece you place back carries the scar of its fracture and you are no longer who you were... you are something else.

Sometimes stronger. Sometimes weaker. Sometimes unrecognizable even to yourself.

That is where the danger lies, because once the old you is gone, the new you is free to be anything. A savior born from pain... or a monster born from the ruins. The choice is yours, but the cracks will always remain, waiting, reminding, haunting.

And when you stare into the mirror, you will know, the reflection staring back is not the same person who once stood there. He knows it... it’s not him staring back... it’s a stranger he built from the fragments of himself, a stranger who does not know family. To be that person, a family could mean nothing or more like it should mean nothing. His one family fucked him up, his own family betrayed him, and did something that is just the cruelest thing.

Family should mean nothing, because there is no family for him... everybody died, there are no Cassians anymore, only him, the last one, the bloodline’s last heir.

But there is one single thing that says otherwise... the people.

How strange is it... that you sit in fucking prison for ten years... your name is slowly fading away in history... but no, in reality, your name is still remembered as a symbol, as one of the greatest family heir of the underworld... people looking up at you... and looking at you as enemies, and that is just another absurd and unbelievable thing...

You come out, and there are hundreds of people in a family that supposedly is yours, a mafia that is the Cassian family... a family with that many people who are supposedly loyal to you, people who first didn’t even get paid but still remained.

How strange is that... people do it for you for free... people see something in you, in your name in the stories about you... people want you to live and be the one, be the Don of them.

Something he still can’t comprehend, and most importantly, he still can’t truly understand Hana nor Amine... why do they have those eyes, why do they think that he’s not going to kill whoever he wants to... why are they in the family if they can’t be loyal to the cause, can’t be loyal to the name and everything that comes with it.

Yeah, it’s not loyalty, it’s a paycheck that keeps them in place... because Joseph knew very well that if it were Pablo on his side, he wouldn’t have said a word. Maybe he would even be the one killing the teenagers... yeah, how strange is that. Knowing full well who Joseph is, knowing full well that he is unstable... and still thinking he can be a good guy, that he can be something different... yeah, he is truly something different. He kills without regret, kills without thinking too much... he is the one and only Cassian, the one who doesn’t care about anything.

And their disappointment, their woman’s emotions, is dangerous... because, on the other hand, he feels nothing, cares for nothing, fears nothing. That makes him dangerous, not just to his enemies, but to anyone who thinks they can trust him, just like Amine and Hana.

There is no such thing as trust. No, he trusts nobody and will trust nobody

Trust leads nowhere in their world. Trust is just a fancy word for betrayal. Let it be a so-called friend, let it be family, let it be an enemy, let it be a stranger... emotions are weakness.

That is their reality. Even if the world around them seems peaceful, the criminal underworld is everything but peaceful... it is the first gate of Hell you need to cross... maybe he has already crossed it... yeah, he is already banging on the main gate of Hell. Every step forward drags him deeper into the fire.

There is no coming back... from that and that’s why it’s a good thing he is not a believer... there is no Hell if you don’t believe in it, at least in his belief, but on the other hand, the real darkness is yourself, that part of you that devours you with guilt, the ruins of the past, and the remnants of what you once were.

"It’s awkward, huh?" He asked as they walked away from the alley, hearing the screams of Rio but at least they listened to Joseph and didn’t try to pull out their knives... and the sirens could be heard screaming in the distance.

Though his question was awkward in itself... who the fuck would ask something like that after stabbing somebody? And it was clear that Amine and Hana weren’t exactly comfortable with this howl situation... which once again was a weakness.

Bodyguards... who can’t handle a little thing like this... how bad.