CHAPTER 101: A SPERMFUL TALE AND THE TOP FOUR MATERIAL

Finn and Seraphina squeezed into the narrow tunnel, leaving the slime chamber behind. Darkness swallowed them almost instantly.

The space was cramped—but not so cramped they couldn’t move. Which, to Finn, was a plus. More accidental contact with Seraphina. For her, however, it was clearly the opposite. Especially thanks to her, uh, holy assets.

In fact, Finn finally had the answer to a very important scientific question he’d pondered for years: Do boobs get in the way in tight spaces?

Yes. Yes, they do.

Awesome.

The light from behind faded completely as they pressed deeper, leaving them in pitch-black nothingness. Finn took the lead, Seraphina following close behind.

"F-Finn...?" Her voice echoed softly in the dark. "That is your name, right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You mentioned earlier that you’d lost your fertility... but, um, how exactly did that happen?"

Finn bit his lip. He hated explaining this. "...To a slime..."

"What was that?"

He raised his voice. "To. A. Slime."

"Oh..." Her tone softened—clearly realizing the humiliation baked into that sentence. Then, without warning, she changed the subject entirely.

"There was once this man who lived in the Sapient Kingdom... his name was Pornubert."

What the fuck kind of name is that? Finn screamed internally.

"For some odd reason, he couldn’t keep his snake in his pants. He went around getting every woman he could find pregnant."

What does this have to do with me?!

"It got so out of control that the police, the higher authorities, and even the church got involved. Especially after he got the priest’s daughter pregnant."

Finn listened in shock—not because of the absurdity, but because he was low-key impressed. That was a lot of women. Still, he couldn’t see how this had anything to do with him.

...Wait. Was she saying he was like this guy? Was she calling him a manwhore?

"The authorities and the church eventually caught him," she continued, "and put an end to his... spermful deeds."

"...Then what?" Finn asked, morbidly curious.

"They locked him in a cell," she said with a little smile he couldn’t see, "and let a horny slime mate with him. It ended his fertility permanently."

"...What does this have to do with me?"

"Well, you said you lost your fertility. I thought this story might cheer you up."

"So telling me a story about some guy who tried to sleep with literally everyone is supposed to cheer me up? ...Well, in some ways, I guess it worked."

"Oh, not just that," she added innocently, "I thought you could relate to him."

"...Okay. And how, exactly, do you think I could relate to him?"

"You like sexual things."

"...I’m not the only person?!" Finn groaned. He wasn’t sure if he should be insulted, flattered, or both.

"You aren’t the only person who’s into sexual things?" she asked, tilting her head in the dark. "You... know others who are?"

"Unfortunately, yes—wait, don’t you say sexual stuff to Ardin all the time when you’re cheering him on?!"

"W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh, says you?! You literally just told me that weird story earlier."

"That was different."

"I still don’t get how that story had anything to do with me besides the fertility thing."

"I told you why I said it! And what do you mean about Ardin? I’ve never done anything sexual."

"Then why do you say those things?"

"I... don’t know what you’re talking about."

Finn let out the longest sigh of his life.

"Just forget about it."

And so their little banter went back and forth, Seraphina telling Finn stories so random and absurd they sounded like they’d been written by a drunk bard with a head injury. Some were silly, others flat-out disturbing, and a few... were more absurd than the last.

Finn couldn’t wrap his head around how she knew so many bizarre tales about so many random people and things. Sure, she’d grown up in a church, so maybe she’d overheard centuries of gossip disguised as sermons—but still.

Somewhere in all that verbal chaos, he actually learned a few things about her and the world outside Moistvile. Apparently, the whole reason they’d even come to this festering swamp-hole was because of unusual mana readings, and because the swamp itself was "alive" in some sense.

She also explained that slime caves were both common and rare depending on location—something Finn found unnecessarily confusing. People actually came into them to mine minerals and, more importantly, collect slime melo. That, according to her, was a high-class potion ingredient... and, bizarrely, also something used in coffee.

’So that’s why the receptionist loves it so much...’ Finn thought grimly.

From her rambling, Finn also pieced together that the Demon King’s recent stirring had caused a spike in Moistvile’s mana levels, which might’ve triggered the formation of those slimeholes they had seen earlier when they met the maid girl.

After that, she drifted back into random history facts and strange little legends—some interesting, others unnerving, and a few that made Finn’s brain physically recoil.

She didn’t have an "off" button. She just kept talking, going on about anything and everything. Finn’s patience was in critical condition.

And yet... as much as it grated on him, he didn’t completely mind. If nothing else, it kept him from walking in total darkness and silence.

Seraphina was, without a doubt, a certified yapper. In Finn’s personal ranking system, that made her one of the best women on this planet.

’She’s definitely going into my top four...’

Eventually, as they trudged through the tunnel, a faint glow appeared ahead. To Finn, that dim light was salvation itself.

It was like that old saying—follow the light at the end of the tunnel... or however it went. Either way, it was the best thing he’d seen since this whole nightmare began.

"Come on, Seraphina!" he called, picking up his pace in the cramped passage.

Freedom was just ahead. He could practically taste it.

And yet, when he finally emerged... what he saw was nothing like what he expected.