CHAPTER 47: THE REARRANGER

One peculiar wizard waddled up to Finn, grinning like he’d just pooped out enlightenment.

In his hand? A scroll—sealed with a red string and a chunky red button like it was gift-wrapped by a toddler with ADHD.

"I have a skill you can learn," the wizard said, voice dripping with mysterious importance. "The other wizards? They wanted it. Oh, they begged. But none of them could unlock it..."

Finn’s eyes widened. Was this it?

A national treasure? A legendary spell?

Was he finally gonna get something OP—like a spell that makes your enemies die on command and sweet awesome harem?

His hand trembled as he took the scroll.

He gave a slow, respectful bow, whispering, "Thank you..." like he was accepting the Nobel Prize for surviving Moistvile.

Now armed with Beard Man in one hand and Mystery Scroll in the other, Finn asked, "So... how do I get the skill? Just open it?" His head tilted like a curious puppy—accidentally rubbing against Majestria’s thigh as he did so.

The wizard chuckled ominously. "Heh... well, we tried opening it. Nothing ever happened. So... I figured, hey—you try it."

Finn’s eye twitched.

Gratitude?

Gone.

The high of "chosen one energy" evaporated with the speed of post-nut clarity.

He glanced at Arsenio—still clueless.

Lickthorn was behind them, panting and rubbing her thighs together like she was auditioning for the role of "Heat-Stricken Anime Girl #4."

With a sigh, Finn looked at the scroll.

Screw it. He opened it.

What he saw?

Absolute gibberish. Symbols that looked like a mix of enchantment table fonts, ikeaers instructions, and satanic Sudoku.

’What the hell am I looking at?!’ Finn scowled. ’These bastards just pawned off some useless gibberish scroll on me like it was a Black Friday deal at shitty super market.’

But as the scroll unfurled, glittery golden dust began floating out like sparkly farts from the ancient world.

Finn didn’t think much of it. Just cheap wizard residue.

Until—

Majestria sniffed.

Once.

Twice.

Then her eyes went wide like she just remembered she left the stove on in the divine realm.

She screamed.

Finn yelped. "WHAT THE—?!"

Majestria yanked on his hair like she was reeling in tuna.

"I’M SORRY! FOR YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS—I WAS JUST TIRED! I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, LO—"

Then silence.

Her voice stopped.

Her body froze.

Her soul disconnected like a son seeing their father leave.

"...Oh." Just one word. Soft. Sad. Realization crashing down like debt.

Finn stared up at her, scowling. "Can you not pull my hair and scream randomly like a banshee on meth?!"

He tried to look up at her face, but instead was met with...

Titties.

Big ones.

The view was... glorious.

Majestic.

Biblical.

He could barely see her face through the cleavage curtain. It was like Moses parting the Red Sea, but instead of water, it was boob.

Finn’s pupils dilated. He let out a soft, perverted chuckle.

Majestria, noticing where his eyes were firmly planted, looked down into her own Grand Canyon of sin.

She gasped.

WHACK.

Her palm karate-chopped his face like it owed her money.

"DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!"

Finn groaned in pain, cheek red.

But the image?

Burned into his brain.

A memory to cherish forever.

"You can hurt me," he muttered through a pained smile, "but you can’t destroy the vision..."

Majestria’s hand curled. Her palm began glowing ominously. Her voice dropped into something that sounded like a demon sipping espresso.

"Say that again."

She glared like she was about to commit divine homicide—

But then her eyes caught it. The scroll.

Still in Finn’s left hand.

Still glowing slightly.

Still active.

And her entire expression shifted.

Majestria grabbed Finn by the hair again, but this time... she leaned in.

Her face inches from his. Her lips barely a whisper apart. Her voice low, sharp.

Dangerous.

"Where did you get that?"

Finn blinked. "The wizard in front of me handed it to me. Said no one could use it, so he just... gave it to me."

Majestria’s eyes snapped to the awkward wizard, who offered a weak smile and a pathetic little wave.

Then—snap—her glare locked back onto Finn.

"So they had it. Here."

"Uh... yeah?" Finn scratched his head. "Why are you acting like someone just gave me ancient holy relic?"

But she didn’t answer.

She just hopped off his back.

Which threw Finn off completely—she never just got off on her own. She usually made him kneel down or complain first. Hell, she treated piggyback rides like divine Uber.

She stepped beside him and stared hard at the scroll.

Finn squinted at her. "Wait, you can read that?"

"Of course I can! That’s literal god language."

His eyes bulged. "Then how the hell did this end up in some wizard’s loot bin?!"

"I don’t know, dumbass." Her voice sharpened. "That’s why I asked you where it came from."

She leaned in closer to the scroll, her brows knitting in concern.

"This is a skill only you people can get."

"’You people’ as in...?"

SMACK.

She slapped the back of his head and snatched the scroll from his hands. "Give me this."

"OW! What was that for?!" Finn rubbed his scalp, glaring.

The surrounding wizards just stood there, blinking in complete confusion, watching the chaos unfold like it was divine performance art. No one said a word.

Then she turned to Finn, eyes serious.

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"Look at me."

Finn faced her.

She held the scroll open, symbols glowing faintly, and without warning—SMACK. She slapped it straight onto his chest.

"Don’t move," she ordered, eyes scanning the runes.

Finn stumbled slightly but obeyed. For once, she wasn’t yelling, or insulting him, or talking about how sweaty he smelled. She was... focused. Calm. Regal.

And it was kind of hot.

Majestria bit her thumb, drawing a drop of Ichor blood. Then she traced a glowing crown on the back of the scroll.

The moment the blood touched the parchment, it shimmered—then began to dissolve. Wisps of golden energy spiraled into Finn’s chest like enchanted printer ink being sucked into a magic vacuum.

Suddenly—

[You have unlocked a new skill!]

Finn’s eyes shot open.

"Holy sh—"

[New title unlocked: The Rearranger]