CHAPTER 56: HOW CAN YOU MESS UP THAT BADLY?!

Finn stood in the doorway, silently judging every soul in the room like a bitter reality show contestant.

There he was. The golden boy. The Chosen One™. The anime protagonist with proper lighting and brushed teeth. Surrounded by fangirls and praise. While Finn looked like a half-drowned raccoon carrying three freeloaders and a depression arc.

His eye twitched.

Ardin stood at the center, armor shinning still—somehow (of course), doing a weird thumbs up + wink combo that actually got giggles from the crowd. His biceps practically had their own gravitational pull. A sparkle glinted off his teeth with an actual ting! sound effect like the universe was his editor.

"HAHA, AND THEN I SLICED THE SLIME MONSTER IN HALF—WITH JUST ONE SWING!" Ardin boasted.

The crowd erupted in cheers.

Seraphina gasped. "That’s amazing, Ardin! You’re so... so brave..." she said dreamily, clasping her hands near her chest. Her breasts bounced unnecessarily. Like they had their own wind physics. There was no breeze. Finn checked.

Finn’s soul left his body briefly. And was very envious.

’What is this, a sponsored stream?! I swear he’s got plot armor coded in his hair gel!’

Meanwhile, over at the lonely table in the back, Chunkus was gnawing on a rib roughly the size of a small child. His entire face was buried in meat like he hadn’t eaten in twenty years.

Finn frowned. ’Did he kill a cow or mug a barbecue?’

Then in the corner, there was Raze. Brooding. Leaning against a support beam like he was waiting for Ratman to recruit him.

’You’re not edgy, bro. You’re unemployed with eyeliner.’ Finn thought, his arms crossed. ’He’s probably one of those guys who quotes dark poetry and cries during sword sharpening.’

Chestelle stepped beside Finn. "You mad because you’re not the one receiving rub ups?"

Finn blinked. "...Huh?"

She said nothing. Just stared ahead with the same empty expression. Like she dropped a truth bomb and didn’t even know it.

Behind him, Lickthorn was sniffing the floorboards and muttering, "Mmm. This smells like men."

Finn paid no attention to Lickthorn. At this point, she was less of a elf and more like a disabled sibling he’d been guilt-tripped into babysitting.

Majestria groaned on his back. "This place is already giving me a migraine. Why are you just standing here like it’s your first time? Go up to the counter and turn the quest in—before Lickthorn decides to do whatever she wants."

Lickthorn’s ears twitched at the sound of her name, her eyes sparkling ominously.

"I’M GOING, I’M GOING!" Finn hissed, trudging toward the counter like it owed him child support.

As he crossed the guild hall, Ardin—sitting at the center of attention like he owned the place—finally noticed him. More specifically, he noticed Finn’s entourage: Majestria clinging to his back, Chestelle trailing behind, and Lickthorn at his side like a rabid waifu.

Ardin’s jaw clenched. His eye twitched. His perfectly symmetrical hero aura rippled with unspoken jealousy.

Finn had no idea why he looked pissed—and frankly, didn’t care.

Finally, Finn reached the counter.

The receptionist glanced up... paused... and blinked.

Majestria on his back.

A perverted elf at his hip.

A feral monster girl lurking behind him.

She stared at the bizarre sight for a long, exhausted second, then wordlessly slid a steaming mug of coffee across the counter, took a slow sip, and exhaled like a war veteran seeing peace for the first time.

"You look even more wrecked than last time," she finally muttered, then eyed his cool awesome wizard hat. "But hey, cool hat."

She glanced at the two new girls. "And now... you have two new companions... Honestly, I didn’t think you’d come back. But here you are—with whatever this is."

She took another long sip of coffee. Her soul was already half gone.

Finn’s eyes lit up. "What flavor is that?"

"Huh?" She looked down, mildly startled. "It’s just... regular black coffee. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. I’m a bit of a coffee connoisseur myself. I’ve always wanted to—"

Smack!

"Agh!" Finn recoiled as Majestria slapped the back of his head.

"Stop flirting and finish the quest already. I want to get paid."

"Paid?! I did all the hard—"

"If you’re so curious..." the receptionist interrupted gently, "my favorite is Slime Melo. Sweet, smooth, and slightly toxic."

She smiled warmly. Happy that someone asked her about something not correlated to her job.

Finn froze. His eyes widened at her gentle smile. He had no idea what Slime Melo was, but he was definitely going to pretend it was his new favorite drink.

"Sounds delicious," he said quickly. "I’ll try some next time."

"You’ll like it." She gave a soft nod... then got back to business.

"Right—do you have the paper that proves you completed the quest?"

Majestria and Finn blinked in unison. "Paper...?"

"Yes. For lower-ranked quests like deliveries or basic errands, you’re given paperwork. You bring it back here as proof. Otherwise, you don’t get credit."

There was a long, horrible silence.

And then—both Finn and Majestria emotionally shattered like glass.

Chestelle tilted her head and placed her hand on Finn’s ass. "What does that mean?"

"STOP GRABBING MY ASS!"

Finn leaned over the counter in pure desperation. "There has to be something! We risked our lives! We delivered a talking head! Climbed a cursed tower! Fought our inner demons! I got molested by a chests! We deserve something for that!"

The receptionist leaned back, wary. "Hold on—did you say head? And tower?"

Finn nodded firmly, slapping his hands on the counter. "Yes! You gave us a quest to deliver a box and explicitly said ’do not open it.’ You remember that? Talking head inside. We delivered it to the wizard tower—you know, the one holding the giant magical barrier."

He paused, squinting. "Still don’t get why you gave me something that important when I’m literally bottom-rank."

"Euhh..." the receptionist let out a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a dying animal. "Hold on..."

"And THEN," Finn shouted, his voice cracking from built-up trauma, "we were attacked by DEMONS! And a flying fucking chicken!"

His shouting drew eyes. The whole guild turned toward him.

"Oh no..." the receptionist whispered, slowly setting her mug down. Her face went pale.

Finn narrowed his eyes. "What’s with that face?"

She looked like she just realized she’d left the oven on and the house was now a crater. Panic washed over her.

"I think..." she said slowly, barely audible, "I gave you... the wrong quest."