CHAPTER 86: EARTH MAYBE IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY

The sun was fading. The moon was rising. And Finn... was already questioning his life choices.

He and the squad now stood awkwardly just outside the entrance to the slime cave, bathed in that eerie twilight glow that made everything feel a little too ominous for comfort.

Camping inside the cave?

Absolutely not.

Sure, it might’ve been the logical choice—shelter, closer proximity to their goal, maybe less bugs. But also?

Slimes.

Slimes everywhere.

And Finn knew better. He had already made the mistake of sleeping near slimes once. Once. That incident with Majestria in the last cave still haunted him in a way that was very not okay.

’Screw that.’

So, using the collective power of their shared singular brain cell, the party unanimously decided to camp outside the cave, nestled in the woods nearby.

It was safer. Probably. Also, they were tired. Really tired.

They’d traveled all day—arguing, wandering, Lickthorn trying to hump every rock they passed—and nobody had the energy to fumble their way through a dark, goo-soaked dungeon at night.

Plus, sure, technically it was a cave and caves were already dark anyway...

But shut up. Daytime just felt better.

So there they stood now, in the trees near the slime-infested hellhole, staring blankly at the patch of earth where they’d be sleeping like:

"Cool, now what?"

"I am not sleeping there. It’ll get dirt on my dress. And my skin," Majestria huffed, arms crossed like a bratty empress.

Finn shot her the kind of exhausted look that screamed I’ve had enough of this fantasy bullshit. "Okay then, Mrs. Princess. Where would you like to sleep? You better decide before it gets fully dark and we have no light source."

Majestria smirked like a smug raccoon. "Well, since you have a divine being gracing your presence, only the greatest accommodations will do."

Finn sighed. "Like what."

"A throne. Made of sticks."

"...Absolutely not."

Majestria snapped. "Listen here, you ungrateful human shit—"

"Okay!" Chestelle clapped her hands like a kindergarten teacher on crack. "I’ll find sticks for you!"

Finn blinked. Slowly. "You’ve gotta be kidding me."

Majestria’s head whipped toward Chestelle with a gleaming, pleased expression. "See? Even someone far below you knows how to treat me right. Unlike a selfish, mortal toad like yourself!"

"The hypocrisy," Finn muttered, watching Majestria strut off dramatically to wait for her twigs like she was expecting an Oscar.

He glanced to the side—only to spot Lickthorn... collecting moss. And slime fragments. And an alarming number of flower crowns.

He didn’t ask. He never asked. That way lies madness.

With a defeated sigh, Finn placed his hands on his hips, surveying the empty forest around them. No tarp. No blankets. No gear. Nothing.

Just dirt, leaves, and the overwhelming anxiety of an alien wilderness.

Probably something like a "stingaboo" out here. Just a cursed bug that stings you in your sleep for fun. That’s probably real in this world. Because of course it is.

"Where are we even supposed to sleep... There’s literally nothing here."

He rubbed his chin, deep in thought—until:

"What the hell is this?!" Majestria screeched.

Finn turned to see Chestelle... casually carrying three massive logs like she was lugging around pool noodles.

Finn’s jaw dropped. Chestelle’s strength was terrifying.

Majestria, however, was flipping out. "I said sticks! STICKS! Not logs! You ruined it!"

Chestelle just stared blankly, unsure of what she did wrong. Majestria groaned in defeat and gave up.

Snap.

Chestelle broke the logs anyway. Because Majestria told her to.

Finn watched in silent grief. Those logs... could’ve been something. A bench. A wall. A makeshift tent post.

But no. They were gone now. Shattered in the name of divine nonsense.

"Who wants to join me in the cuddle zone~?" Lickthorn chirped.

Finn turned his head slowly—like a man who already knew he wouldn’t like what he saw.

There she was.

A mossy nest made of leaves, flowers, and slime fragments. Complete with squishy slime-pillow things.

Majestria recoiled. "I’d rather let Finn sniff my armpits than touch whatever that thing is."

Chestelle blinked at Lickthorn, then lifted her arms straight up... and just fell face-first into the dirt like a glitching NPC.

Finn looked between the chaos. Lickthorn’s weird nest. Majestria having a meltdown. Chestelle accepting dirt as her fate.

And him?

Nowhere to sleep.

At least Lickthorn built something.

Weird and probably slightly illegal, sure. But something.

Finn stared at the nest. Weighed his dignity. His options. His sanity.

’Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?!’

***

After some time, Finn finally decided where he was going to sleep.

It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t soft. But it was dry. And in this godforsaken world, that made it the most comfortable spot around.

He was going to sleep on a rock.

There it stood—not far from the girls, slightly elevated, and angled just enough to overlook the area like some kind of weird camping throne.

It was flat, dry, and relatively smooth. Which made it better than dirt, slime fragments, and Lickthorn’s nightmare nest.

Finn climbed up the moderately-sized boulder with a grunt. To his surprise, the surface wasn’t too rough. Almost soft in a weird, nature-worn way.

Eventually, he settled at the top, stretched out, and let his body go limp with a sigh.

His eyes drifted toward the chaos below.

Chestelle was still lying face-first in the ground like she was dead.

Lickthorn had curled into a fetal position in her cuddle nest, clearly heartbroken that no one joined her.

And Majestria...

She was floating. Just casually sleeping mid-air, like gravity had taken the night off.

’So not only can she make her fist glow... but she can float now too. How wonderful.’

Finn rolled slightly, adjusting himself so his back lay completely flat against the stone. His eyes turned upward—toward the velvet sky.

The white-gray moon glowed above like a pale lantern, casting soft light over the clearing. Stars were scattered across the dark like a splash of white paint on a black canvas.

It was... beautiful.

Being a city kid, he’d never really seen the night sky like this before.

No smog. No buildings. Just open sky and a quiet, alien world.

And as he stared up, he couldn’t help but wonder...

Was Earth out there somewhere?

Far off in the cosmos? Still turning, still spinning, completely unaware that some awkward, pervy guy named Finn Wiggles had been threw across dimensions?

His eyelids grew heavy.

He hoped, for once, it wouldn’t be another fever dream. Just sleep. Actual rest.

Finn pulled his hat over his face, shielding his eyes from the moonlight.

Darkness embraced him.

And then—

Sleep.