CHAPTER 99: ALL I HAVE LEFT IS ONE SLIMY BEAN

They sat on the cold, gunk-covered ground—coughing, panting, and mentally trying to process the living nightmare they just slid through.

It was... a lot.

The silence stretched, broken only by their labored breathing and the occasional splat of slime dripping from their clothes.

And then, like a slowly downloading JPEG of despair—Reality hit.

’Not good...’ Finn thought, staring blankly into the dark.

He glanced over at Seraphina. She was still coughing, wiping herself off, chunks of green gunk sliding down her once-pristine priest robe. She looked like someone who’d been baptized in a septic tank.

"So... uh," Finn started, trying to pierce the awkward fog. "Do you know how to get out of this place? Or know anything about it?"

She gave him a glare between coughs. "No... I have no clue."

Finn nodded slowly. "Cool, cool... Did you know this cave was, like, this big?"

Her tone sharpened. "I don’t know! Why are you asking me this stuff?!"

Finn held up his hands. "Look, I just figured—you guys are the big fancy hero’s party. I assumed you’d have, I don’t know, a map or something."

She exhaled hard. "We were given a quest by the Sapient Kingdom, okay? We were just told to investigate what’s been causing the slimeholes and stop it. That’s it." Her voice dropped a bit. "And... Ardin was supposed to take care of everything."

Finn squinted. ’Oh right... the maid girl mentioned a party being sent into the caves. Did she say it was this party? Or another one? Crap. I wasn’t paying attention. She had great thighs... wait could I even see them or was it her breast?"

"W-What are you thinking about?" Seraphina asked, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Finn blinked. "Oh. Nothing. Just remembered something."

"I see..." she looked down, her expression softening into something unreadable. She seemed upset—but Finn couldn’t tell if it was about Ardin, the cave, or just having slime in her underwear.

Either way, he wasn’t in the mood to get philosophical.

He sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "Whatever you’ve got going on, I hope you figure it out. But right now, we’ve got bigger problems—like getting out of here before we get surprise-hugged by a sentient mucus ball."

"...Yeah." Seraphina stood up, brushing her robe down. The once-golden trim was now stained a sickly brown-green.

Together, they turned and began walking deeper into the cave chamber.

No idea where they were. No backup.

No light. Just two exhausted adventurers trudging through slime, shadows, and awkward tension.

Finn looked ahead.

"I hope I get my fertility back after this..." Finn muttered—Then froze.

A horrible thought slammed into his brain like a brick made of regret.

"...Wait."

He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Felt around.

His pupils shrank.

"Oh my god."

Empty.

Completely. Utterly. Emotionally. Financially. Cosmically... empty.

The potion. The coins. Slime Melo.

All gone.

Finn’s eye twitched. He stopped mid-step. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t blink. Just stood there, trembling with existential horror.

Seraphina stopped beside him, brows furrowed. "What’s the matter?"

"I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!" Finn screamed into the void.

Seraphina recoiled. "Wha—?! What happened?!"

"It’s all gone," he said, voice cracking.

"What is, exactly?"

Finn sniffled. "My goodie twos..."

"Your... what?"

"My good... good stuff."

"I... don’t know what that means."

Finn whimpered. "My goodies... my coins, my potion, Slime Melo... it’s all gone."

Seraphina blinked slowly. "Oh."

With dead eyes, Finn reached into his pocket and pulled out the only remaining item. One single Slime Melo. He held it up like it was the last crumb of his dignity.

"This. This is all I have left."

Seraphina stared blankly at the lone Slime Melo.

"...Ah."

She didn’t know what to say. No one ever does when someone pulls out emotional damage in item form.

Finn looked at the single bean in his hand—whatever it had survived—and he sighed. "At least it’s... something."

Seraphina frowned a little. She didn’t understand, but she understood enough.

"Sorry," Finn muttered. He turned away and started walking again, shoulders slumped like a man who’d just lost custody of his loot.

"Hey, wait up!" Seraphina called out, hurrying after him.

And so, they ventured deeper into the cave chamber—directionless, desperate, and held together only by the fragile hope that there was some kind of exit to this slime-coated hellscape.

Each step they took was careful and hesitant. There was some light, but not much—just enough to paint vague outlines in the distance. The ground was especially treacherous, littered with jagged spikes and puddles of goo. Luckily, the faint bioluminescence from the slime-water helped them see just enough to avoid skewering themselves.

The two walked close, shoulders nearly touching. Seraphina’s arm gently brushed against Finn’s every so often.

"...Don’t you have mana?" Finn asked suddenly.

"Yes," Seraphina replied, blinking at the question. "I have a good amount. Why?"

"I don’t know—maybe something useful? Like, say... casting a light spell so we don’t trip and fall into a slime pit and die horribly?"

"I—I don’t," she stammered. "I never thought I’d need one..."

"...You’re a priest. How do you not have any light magic?"

Seraphina went quiet. Then: "Uh."

Finn stared at her. "Like, you’re telling me you don’t have even a basic holy light? A spark? A flashlight spell? Fire? Glowstick aura?"

Her mouth opened, then closed. She gently bit her lip and muttered, "I mostly picked abilities that would be useful... for Ardin."

Finn froze. ’What.’

He stared at her in disbelief. Not that he didn’t understand the idea of a woman dedicating herself to a man—hell, the idea kind of turned him on—but this? Prioritizing romantic usefulness over basic survival?

"What kind of abilities are we talking about?"

Seraphina looked down. "Healing... divine protections... and blessings to improve his strength..."

Finn rubbed his chin. "...Okay, not gonna lie, that’s actually kinda useful."

He mumbled to himself, "Can Majestria even do that stuff?"

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," Finn said quickly. "Anyway—what do the protection and blessing spells actually do? Be specific. If you’re gonna be the team support, I need to know how cracked or useless your kit is."

"W-What... what does that even mean?"