CHAPTER 36: THE STRONG AND THE WEAK

Creeping hands going up her head...up her thighs. In the Darkness of her room, she would hear him snicker and force her to surrender to his unholy advances.

After threatening her with everything, she would be choiceless and would sob her eyes out till he was done and satisfied. Everything about it was repelling and yucky, it was the heavy and rotten things he had done to her.

She had been stripped off her sanity more times than she could count, and could not even tell the Nuns or anyone because they would only disagree and say she was lying against Ramus.

Many things have happened to her down there, thoroughly disgusting. His hands, and body parts have dwelled around, and in and out. It was always suffocating and painful all the time, and she could not even scream.

Who would believe her even if they rushed in and caught Ramus in the act? They all had terrible personalities and would only take his side, no matter what.

Leaving was out of the question. Pastor Ramus had also threatened her that if she ran away, things would not end well for her. The townspeople trusted him because he treated them like gems and only showed his real self to her, the children, and the nuns... he said he was gonna spread rumors and have the people beat her to death, or lock her up with no food or water.

Aaliyah’s naive brain had believed every word, and the nightly torture had stretched down for years.

The only time she had peace of mind was when he was out of time, or the time his daughter died and he had mourned her for months. Aaliyah had overhead the Nuns gossiping saying that she was his only daughter, and had fallen into a tragic death just like his wife.

Her death must have hit him hard.

And lucky for Aaliyah over the years, Ramus had become more and more busy and was mostly out of town. But whenever he was around, he would find her and strip her again till she was crying her eyes out and begging him to stop.

With time, she developed a mental strategy to manage herself whenever he was with her. She would try to think of other things to distract herself from what he was doing. It worked a few times.

Another lucky thing was he only came at night, so he never once saw her tears turned into pearls. Once he was gone, she would gather them, and quickly bury them behind the church as early as possible before the sun rose and anyone saw her.

"I’m sorry...," Aaliyah looked away, feeling pathetic, "I agreed to do this, but...I don’t know if I can anymore. At least, not down there.

Alastair took a deep breath. As expected, he didn’t understand her. She had just remained quiet after he called Ramus, and her eyes were trembling badly like she was recalling something painful. The only thing that propelled him was the sorrowful and hellbent look in her eyes.

"I’m not...Ramus," He said.

Aaliyah looked up at him.

"That’s all I can say,"

He placed a kiss on her forehead and stood up to leave. His expression remained the same as always as he stared down at her for a short while before he turned around to leave.

Alastair walked up to the door silently with a huge bulge in his pants. What the hell was this woman doing to him? The Alastair he knew would not just leave without getting what he wants, and what he wants right now is to be buried inside of her.

He could still smell her, and he was only toughing it out.

He was a merciless man. Alastair did not like this new side of him that had been created by her. And to go back to his old self, he would have to be away from her for a very long. Right now, he just has to hold out for a few more days.

There were only four days left. Four days to keep enjoying this torture that was turning his head upside down.

He reached for the doorknob just as he heard her light footsteps coming over in a hurry. Before he could turn around, her small hands wrapped around his stomach, holding on tightly while her head was pressed on his back.

She cried against his back, incoming tears being absorbed by his shirt before they could fall.

"You’re right," She said with a sniff, "You’re not Ramus. You’re Alastair."

The feeling of her resting on him almost had his eyes closing to another unreal feeling coursing through him.

"I’m willing...," She swallowed again, then took in a deep breath, "...To give it a try, with you," She completed.

"Give what a try?" He had only heard the last part. All his attention had been snatched by the back hug.

"Us... Strengthening our bond. Let’s give... touching me down there a try,"

"Hm,"

"Anytime," She added.

"Now,"

Oh God. She nodded tightly against his back, but he didn’t move and they remained like that for a couple of time. This... hug, or whatever it was had him feeling all tingly and relaxed, and he almost felt like he was floating. It’s been so very long since he felt this relaxed.

But the most relaxing of them all was lying on her chest and listening to her heartbeat.

Finally, he took her hand and led her back to the bed. Her hands were trembling, and she appeared scared with her wide eyes trying to find the strength to calm down. Once they were seated, he took her head and made her rest on his shoulders...and.his other arm lazily fell on her leg.

Once he started to caress his fingers up and down her thigh, she turned into a log of wood and gripped handfuls of the bedsheet.

She kept repeating to herself that she was ready for this and that this wasn’t Ramus.

His fingers kept on with the caress, moving her dress out of the way and sliding higher and higher every time. A minute passed and she had successfully held on, constantly reminding her brain that she was in no form of danger.

The second a finger slipped into her panties, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she shuddered. Her stomach churned badly and she didn’t realize how fast she had pushed him away and ran off to the bathroom to puke.

.

.

.

"It’s only Alastair...he won’t hurt me, it’s only Alastair...He won’t hurt me, it’s only Alastair...he won’t hurt me, It’s only Alastair, he won’t hurt me..."

Alastair watched her stand under the cold shower with her clothes on, repeating all this to herself with swollen red eyes like she was trying her hardest not to cry. She kept saying it over and over again till he lost count.

Several minutes passed, and it was about an hour now, "Are you OK?" He asked when she finally seemed to have calmed down and looked up at him.

Her eyes fluttered close, and she stumbled down but Alastair caught her and took her out of the bathroom. He cuddled her in his arms and sat on the bed, not caring that he would also get wet from her clothes.

She was sobbing against his shirt again, crying her lungs out.

"I’m pa..the...tic a..and r..ruined and B rrokk..kken, A..alas..s...stair," She shook heavily in his arms, causing him to hug her even harder, "I c..can not g..give you w..what y...y...you desi..rrre. Don’t se...settle for m...me, d...don’t se...settle for B..rrok...broken..."

His chest squeezed badly on hearing her words, and how difficult it was for her to say it amidst the hiccups and her stammers.

"You’re right," He stroked her scalp, a huge frown on his face, "I won’t settle for Broken, Little Siren. That is why I settled with you,"

Her crying paused and although her hiccups continued, she looked up at him.

"We cannot both be broken. One of us has to be strong, and that is the role you are playing right now."

Role? Playing??! Was this a game...or something?! But somehow, she understood him. Just as she thought from the first time she started living with him, maybe he does have a past that isn’t so sweet.

"What if I don’t want to be the strong one?" She whispered.

"Right from the beginning, you weren’t given a choice. And Neither was I," His face was stoned again.

"Okay," She quietly said.

"What would you like to do next?" He was changing the topic. No need to delve further.

"I don’t know," she shrugged uncaringly, "What about you? What do you want to do?"

"Nothing," He replied

"Then, let’s do nothing then," She agreed.

About an hour passed.

"Aaliyah?" He called

"Yes, Alastair?" She answered with a small yawn.

"There’s something we can do. Maybe...the day after tomorrow?"

"What’s that?" She asked lazily, her eyes closing to the sweet sleep that she only found in his arms. Crying, almost passing out, and holding her for this long had her lashes fluttering open and close. His chest was super comfortable.

"Visit the church, where you grew up," He released the bomb.