CHAPTER 36: WHEN I TOLD YOU I TRUSTED YOU, YOU ONLY APOLOGIZED

Le An never resented life, not even when it failed to give him a warm home or loving parents. On the contrary, it was impossible to miss how those very lacks had shaped his inner compass to constantly seek warmth, affection, and love.

That’s why, when he suddenly became the person others looked up to, the one who expressed humanity itself, the nation’s admiration suddenly made him the owner of everything he had ever wanted, perhaps the one thing he had always wanted the most. And even though he would later realize it was all an illusion, Le An erased many memories from his orphanage days. What remained was the rawest form of his hunger for love, his trust in people, and his kindness.

"How did it feel to be tricked like a stupid child?" the voice in his head asked. "Especially by the person you trusted the most..."

Le An understood he had been betrayed at that moment, from just a few words spoken right before him. Just like Taras had said. A sharp pain pierced through his heart. Theo’s expression the moment their eyes met replayed again and again in his mind within a split second. His eyes turned bloodshot, yet he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t cry because...

His mind had gone back to that night, when Theo had asked him what he wanted to do about his heat. Le An was shaking his head deliriously without even realizing it. That night, Theo had never said, "Okay. Trust me."

Theo had never promised him anything. Because this had been the plan from the start. As the blood drained from his entire body, Le An’s eyes drifted from Theo to the doctor who was muttering nonsense in panic.

"Is he... Um... Treasure! You’re awake this time, the meds... they must’ve worked haha, maybe you should r-rest a bit more..." The doctor’s voice trailed off into a near-whisper as Le An slowly started to rise from the bed.

As he looked at the surprised faces around him, shocked that he could even stand, Le An was once again confronted with the tragedy of his situation. The people to whom he had surrendered himself in his most vulnerable state had been counting on him not being able to get up.

When Le An fully stood on his own feet, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to take a step at first; he was right. At his first stumble, everyone looked as though their hearts leapt to their throats and instinctively moved toward him. But something in Le An’s eyes froze them all in place.

As they watched him take a step, silence once again filled the room.

"You shouldn’t get... up..." the doctor said later.

"Le An..." Theo uttered his name.

Le An walked toward them. The alpha, appointed to him and yet entirely clueless, wore a smug expression on his face. Looking at Le An as if he were nothing, the alpha asked those beside him, "Is this about me?"

Theo didn’t even turn to look. The doctor stood there tongue-tied, while the alpha finally locked eyes with Le An and smirked.

"Do you want to examine me more closely, treasure? Honestly, when I learned you were an omega..."

Le An didn’t even hear the rest of the alpha’s sentence as he passed by him. By the time he reached for the door handle, both the doctor and Theo swallowed hard.

At last, Le An’s trembling lips parted. His eyes locked onto Theo’s. He didn’t even realize he was crying; he started to cry silently when he began to speak.

"Theo... hic,"

Theo, as if drawn forward by instinct, took a step toward him, his soul breaking under the silent tears falling from Le An.

"Le An, I can explain-"

"When I told you I trusted you," Le An’s body was already being overtaken by exhaustion after just a few steps, but he stubbornly refused to lean on the door. "Ha..." He wiped his tears away and looked at Theo with a gaze he’d never given him before, an expression of complete rejection.

"When I told you I trusted you, you only apologized. I should’ve known..."

"Le An, I..." Theo took another step forward, but something in Le An’s gaze stopped him.

In Theo’s sad eyes, there was no trace of regret. Le An couldn’t even bear to look at him anymore. The sense of loneliness that came from no longer being able to rely on him crept in so quickly that his chin quivered as he asked the doctor, "What day is it?"

"T-third day, Treasure. Everything is under control, don’t worry. Also..." The doctor, moving slowly, stepped in front of Theo’s ruined figure and raised his hands as if to calm Le An.

"Please don’t be too hard on Mr. Theo, you... Haha, actually, you told us that you wanted a partner and that you’d changed your mind. We... we just did what you asked!" he said while looking Le An straight in the eyes.

Le An’s eyes drifted to the bottle on the nightstand. Taras’ words echoed in his mind.

"And since your partner came all this way..." the doctor continued, but Le An looked away from him and stared outside the room, struggling to stay upright.

It meant: Please get out.

"Ha..." the alpha sighed. "I came all the way here, dear Treasure," he said, slowly releasing his pheromones toward Le An with a smug grin. "I’m sure I can satisfy you in bed."

Le An wrinkled his nose in disgust at the alpha’s pheromones, while the doctor shot the man a warning look.

Then suddenly, Le An turned sharply toward the alpha as something clicked in his mind. He saw the alpha’s surprise at Le An’s lack of reaction to his pheromones, but he didn’t care. What mattered was...

"You..." For the first time, Le An looked him straight in the eyes and pointed to the phone left on the couch.

"Go and save... ha... your number into my phone."

Theo understood what Le An was planning and tried to intervene. "Le An-"

"Alright." The alpha grinned and left the pheromone room to enter his number. Le An’s eyes turned to Theo, who looked at him in helpless agony.

"For the rest of my heat, I want to be alone," Le An declared coldly. Theo’s eyes went wide.

"Le An, please, can we just talk-"

"Please," Le An said, shaking his head. "No... huff... I don’t want to."

When Theo tried to grab his elbow, Le An yanked his arm away, remembering how those hands had pushed him into the ice-cold water.

"Then..." Theo stared frozen at his rejected hand for a moment and muttered in panic,

"At least let me explain myself!"

"Please..." Le An tightened his grip on the doorknob, finally resting his exhausted body against it as he sobbed.

"I just want to be alone."

The alpha returned, waving Le An’s phone, and with an attitude that didn’t suit the atmosphere at all, handed it to him.

"I’ll be waiting for your call, dear Treasure. In fact, today, I was ready-"

"He’ll stay here," Le An said, referring to the alpha while looking at the doctor, and added.

"If... if you’re planning the same t-thing with him-"

"Treasure, please...!" The doctor turned purple. He knew Le An had arranged this just to keep the alpha alive. Sweating, he rubbed his palms together, not knowing what to say.

"You’ll do what I say. Ha... Get out." Le An’s vision began to blur again. The intensity of his emotions, the weight of his body both started to feel light again under the drug’s influence. It was because of that one pill he had taken by mistake. Le An grimaced. They had given him three of those pills every two hours.

To get him into a state where he could be pushed into a non-consensual bond...

They gazed at each other, and then, the doctor held Theo by the arm.

"Mr. Theo... I think we should let Treasure rest. And Treasure, please lie back down. We will go ourselves."

Le An didn’t move. He watched them walk out. Theo looked back at him helplessly until the door finally shut, his shoulders tight with tension.

Then, Le An entered the password and locked the door. He went into settings, clicked on "Change Password," and with trembling fingers, entered the first number that came to mind.

The moment they realized the password had been changed, he heard them shouting.

"Oh, T-treasure!"

"Le An, this is dangerous! You have to tell us the password and... and we won’t come in. I swear, Le An... I swear. Please." Theo was nearly pleading.

Le An remained silent. Theo continued. Le An, with his forehead resting against the door, listened only to the desperation in Theo’s voice. As his brain began to go numb again, he could feel himself struggling once more to comprehend what had happened. His mind was like a kite he kept losing hold of, rising toward a scorching sun and melting before his eyes.

If Theo was going to regret this, then why had he done it? Ha... Because he thought he wouldn’t get caught. If Taras hadn’t stopped him from taking the pills...

Le An shut his eyes tightly. Theo was still speaking.

"Please, Le An? You... last night, you said you changed your mind and that you wanted a partner. You begged me, and I..."

"I know," Le An murmured from behind the door.

"You... what?" Theo’s breathless question came, and Le An wanted to laugh at the bitter irony that Theo could only utter these lies behind a closed door, where he couldn’t look him in the eye.

"I know, huff... what the pills do, Theo."

"..."

"I know I never wanted a partner, that I never begged you, never ch-changed my mind... ha... I know it’s all a... lie."

"..."

In Theo’s deathly silence, Le An sensed that they both knew the crack between them had grown into an irreparable chasm. This was irreversible. The breaking of the strongest thread that had convinced Le An he was safe, surrounded by people he could trust.

"I..." Theo fell silent. Then, as if clinging to a last hope, he asked again. Le An could feel Theo’s hand on the doorknob, as if he might open it.

"But when you need my pheromones-"

"I don’t." Le An cut him off.

"Le An..." Theo pleaded helplessly, but Le An took a step back from the door, and as if he could feel it, Theo let go of the knob.

"Just... Please...

"No, please, just..! Tell me the password, Le An. What if something dangerous happens in there? I need to be able to reach you. Please..."

"There’s nothing dangerous inside." Le An interrupted.

"In f-fact... inside is safer."

Le An didn’t want to hear any more. He crawled back to the bed. The real danger was outside... and today, Theo had become one of them.

As Theo’s pleading and explanations slowly faded into a dull buzz behind the door, Le An hovered once again at the edge of sleep. But this time, his body and mind weren’t falling into a pit; this time, he would sleep without hallucinations.

It was a sleep light enough to hear a knock at the door.

When Le An opened his eyes again, the one knocking at the pheromone room’s door, unable to slip in as a shadow, was none other than Taras.

Half-asleep, Le An recognized the whisper calling to him. His eyes slowly opened in a daze.

"Treasure, open the door."

If you don’t want me to knock it down, you better get up and open it. That’s what Taras’ tone was saying.

"Ha... I know you’re awake. Open the door."

It was him.

Le An’s heart surged with excitement. He jumped to his feet and clutched his chest, staggering as he stared at the door.

He had said he would come back, and he had.

Le An opened the door. There stood Taras, with a sheer black curtain behind him like a wall, swallowing all sound.

He had really come.