CHAPTER 39: THE SHADOW WAS HIM, AND HE WAS THE SHADOW

At first, Le An gulped down the water in his mouth. As the last drops trickled from his lips, Taras licked the remnants. Le An, in shock, swallowed the final mouthful and looked into Taras’s eyes.

Would he pull away, or...

Their lips were almost touching; maybe several seconds passed like that. As Le An held himself still, trying not to move, he finally let out the breath he’d been holding through trembling lips.

Then, Taras’s tongue pried open Le An’s mouth, and with slow movements, they began to kiss. Le An, his heart thudding as if it might burst, wanted to hold onto Taras, but didn’t know how. He couldn’t muster the courage.

"Ha..." Taras furrowed his brows as he gently guided Le An’s hand to rest on his shoulder, gentler than he’d ever held his wrist before. Treasure’s clumsy lips, his timid transformation from the desperate expression earlier... every detail gnawed at Taras’s nerves.

And yet, it wasn’t so bad, because judging by how tightly Treasure’s eyes were shut, this too seemed to be another way to torment him. His heart, mind, pheromones, and body... Treasure now seemed cornered, surrounded by a bottomless confusion and unease. Taras lifted Le An closer, gripping the back of his neck, as if trying to make him open his lips.

The long fingers wrapping completely around his nape sent Le An spiraling further into chaos. He clung to Taras’s shoulders and moaned. "Ha, ngnh..."

The black tulle slowly draped over them, enclosing just their bodies. As they continued, wet sounds echoed in their ears. As if the tulle were trapping Le An’s sweet scent, breathing beneath it became more difficult. Taras’s hand on his nape tightened, and to get closer, Le An wrapped his arms around his neck, giving all his weight to the alpha.

While Le An’s eyes, once wide open, were now tightly shut and his face crimson, Taras’s eyes remained open. He studied every expression that crossed Le An’s face, every sound he made, every quiver of his closed lashes.

"Ha..." Taras cupped Le An’s face between his hands, his tongue refusing to let Le An catch his breath, until Le An clutched at his shirt, pulling.

"Ah, hnngh... Wa- wait-"

Taras, on the contrary, held Le An down against the pillow this time. The obedient black tulle was darkening more and more, sinking them into shadow.

"Ple-please..." Le An opened his eyes; Taras was already watching him.

Then, he let Le An breathe, pressing only light kisses to his lips. At the same time, he noticed the fear in Le An’s eyes, drifting toward the black tulle.

So even with Taras right here, was he scared of the shadow behind?

"It’s s-so, ha..." Le An couldn’t tear his gaze from behind Taras; he even subtly lowered his head and nestled into Taras’s chest to hide from it.

The shadow was Taras, and Taras was the shadow. Taras pushed Le An’s lips apart with his own, forcing him to lift his head. "Mmph!"

Now, looking once again carefully at Le An, who clung tightly to him with the tip of his tongue peeking out, Taras doubted his eyes.

Other than Le An and the pillow beneath him, everything else had been swallowed into pitch black. The shadow crept over Le An’s face, shoulders, and with a chilling touch, his legs and groin.

Le An flinched at the cold that bit into his thigh like teeth, his dazed eyes widening in panic. " Ah! The tulle, it’s-"

"Ssh, calm down."

The shadow was Taras, and Taras was the shadow, once again. His emotions and current state-just like how Le An’s guiding grew intense when he was scared- affected the shadow’s form and intensity.

And now, the shadow wanted to consume Le An completely. To devour him.

Taras watched the ink-black shadow creep toward Le An’s neck like a spreading pool of blood, and the peach-fuzz hairs that stood on end as it approached. He clamped his fingers around the trembling neck, and the shadow halted, as if blocked by his touch.

Le An watched the shadowy pool retreat slowly, responding silently to Taras’s will, like it had human consciousness. A soft murmur escaped his lips. "Oh, look at how..."

When his eyes met Taras’s, Le An stopped mumbling and gave a small, awkward look.

Fully taken under control again, the color of the black tulle gradually lightened, turned transparent. The rest of the bed, the dim yellow light in the room, and the tiny sparkles glinting off Le An’s bangs all became visible again.

Le An now looked less frightened; his grip on Taras’s shoulder had loosened. As Taras gazed at his still-wet and slightly swollen lips, he leaned down for a moment, only for a sudden anger to flash in his eyes, stopping him.

"He’s here," he said, staring at the tiny beauty mark where Le An’s lips met, hidden.

And this time, the black tulle cloaked only Taras like a cape.

"Le An?" Theo’s voice came from behind the door.

For a moment, Le An panicked at the thought that the door might open. But as Taras remained above him, watching with an unreadable expression, he stilled.

That’s right... The panic in Le An’s eyes gradually faded. He had changed the door code. Taras could always hide within shadows, and besides...

Le An wouldn’t open the door for Theo now. He didn’t want to. "Le An, are you awake?"

" ... " Le An didn’t reply, and Theo continued. " I know you’re awake, I can hear your heartbeat," he said, his voice tinged with sorrow.

As Le An’s eyes drifted toward the door, affected by that tone, Taras’s mind echoed with Theo’s words interwoven with Le An’s heartbeat. I can hear your heart.

Le An’s fast, pounding heart, Taras had caused that. Just now. Taras cast a narrow glance at Le An’s sorrowful gaze toward the door.

"Just tell me you’re okay and safe," Theo said. Then came a soft popping sound from the door. And a faint creak. Sounds too small for Le An to notice. It was the sound of Treasure’s esper guard pressing his forehead against the door and gently pushing it, as if trying to open it with his head. "Le An, let me hear your voice."

As Le An’s lips parted and he met Taras’s eyes, he hesitated and looked away, blushing again. "Is he still there?" he asked.

The forehead at the door lifted. A sigh followed. Le An had meant the alpha below. Theo responded. "Yes. Your voice... it sounds better. Are you feeling better?"

"..." The suppressant had now almost completely lifted the fog from Le An’s mind, but the burning in his body, the scorching sensation, and the pheromones he couldn’t stop releasing were still in turmoil.

Maybe it was because of Taras. Taras’s closeness, his very presence, so overwhelming. Le An swallowed. "As long as I’m in here, that alpha will-"

"I’m sorry," Theo cut him off, his voice now panicked. But that sentence couldn’t have unsettled Le An any more. The last time he apologized...

"Just... that alpha is staying in this house. That’s all I want," Le An murmured.

"Le An, I just wanted what was best for you. You know how much I care, don’t you?"

"..."

"I couldn’t stand to see you suffer. Even if it was your choice, I couldn’t bear it. So I wanted something else. For your sake."

Ha. The black tulle covering Taras darkened once again. For his sake? Did that mean offering Treasure to other alphas and then sending them off to die?

"For me... that’s what you wanted for me?" Le An looked at the door, eyes filled with a sadness that brought Taras an unexplainable sense of satisfaction.

"I..." Thud. Taras heard Theo rest his forehead against the door again. Then came a whisper, too faint to reach inside:

"I know. I’d do anything- anything- for you. As long as I can be near you. And every hand that touches you... as long as they die. It’s me who killed them, Le An. Every single one. For you."

In the silence Le An listened to, those whispered words reached only Taras. Taras placed his fingers on Le An’s chin and turned him back. Their eyes met, and the hurt in Le An’s expression tried to hide itself.

But Treasure’s emotions always showed on his face.

Ha, just look at that expression. He wasn’t going to tell him what he just heard. It wasn’t the right time. Taras gestured with his eyes toward the door, signaling Le An to send Theo away.

As Le An nodded nervously, reminded of Taras’s presence, he opened his mouth. Looking into Taras’s eyes, he called out, "Later, Theo."

"...Alright," Theo said, lingering a moment before heading down. The black tulle slid away again, returning to the ceiling. "Is he gone?" Le An asked, shifting.

Taras slowly released Le An’s chin, nodded, and rose, lifting his weight from him.

Le An sat up against the bed’s headboard, his fingers playing tensely in his lap.

"Drink more water and sleep," Taras said as he got off the bed. Le An nodded, but felt strange at the absence of Taras’s weight. When their eyes met -Taras watching him as if waiting for him to sleep- Le An felt even more awkward and touched his nape.

"I’ll... sleep once you’re gone," he murmured.

Taras said nothing, and as he continued to stare, Le An felt like he should do something, but didn’t know what. Why was he looking at him like that? "You d-don’t have to wait for me," Le An added hesitantly.

"Why would I wait for you to sleep?" Taras muttered, slightly annoyed.

"Right." That wasn’t it either. As Taras kept watching him, Le An couldn’t keep the silence going. He parted his lips again, but finally, Taras broke the silence.

"You need to unlock the door so I can leave," he said, voice tense. Le An scrambled to recover, and when he finally understood, he looked at Taras with deep embarrassment. "Ah... of course."

Taras had hated telling Le An the first time that he couldn’t get through that damned door, and he didn’t want to say it again. That glance had said it all.

Treasure’s pheromone room was one you entered, but could never leave. In many ways, Taras thought.

At the same time, as Le An tried to get up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he still looked unwell, more like he was struggling. Le An felt rushed by Taras’s intimidated look and gave up, stopping just as Taras seemed to want.

He lifted his head without thinking. "The code is 95347619," he said.

When Taras gazed at him, as if curious about the code he had made up while kicking those people out, Le An tried to explain. "It’s just a number I kept in mind recently."

It was Sora’s, the greenhouse owner’s number. Le An had the habit of remembering numbers he’d seen, and during his rage, it was all he could come up with. A number he couldn’t call, no matter how much he wanted to. That number written on that card.

Taras shook his shoulder. As he approached the door to enter the code, Le An held his breath, watching him, as if Taras was about to say something.

"Now, we’re even," Taras said. Referring to helping each other... and the kiss.

So he agreed to kiss for... getting even.

Le An’s shoulders fell for a moment, then rose again. He nodded, and in his eyes, the expression returned to how it was before the heat began, distant and cautious. "Yes. Thank you."

Taras nodded too. "And... don’t take every pill people give you," he said, irritated at Le An’s naïveté, even taking the one he gave him. Is he always like this?

He was about to turn when Le An’s quick response stopped him. "I only take medicine from people I trust," Le An said with a hint of defiance.

So... You trust me?

Ah... Do I trust you?

The two similar questions flickered in both of their minds like a spark, but neither voiced them. Taras entered the code, and the moment the door cracked open, he shifted into his shadow form, disappearing like a ghost.

Hours later, when the effects of the heat had completely subsided, Le An woke up. As he lifted the glass to his lips, the memory that surfaced made his face flush crimson.

Pressing his hands to his cheeks, Le An knew it made no sense to feel this way, yet...When he opened his eyes, instead of ice baths or anything else, the first thing that came to mind was that kiss. And he felt lucky.

But as he thought of those memories that tightened his stomach with a strange feeling, the loud noise from downstairs dragged Le An back into reality.