CHAPTER 44: HE HAD MISSED LE AN BY ONLY TWO MINUTES.

’The pearls are for your tears. And red... it suits your pale skin. Wear this and join us tonight as our guest of honor, Le An.’

That was the note inside the gift box from Mr. Qui.

Le An didn’t even take the white sheer blouse out of the box, its fabric draped with pearls that hung from the shoulders and chest. His eyes lingered on the vivid red paint splashes along the sleeves, as if someone had flicked blood onto the fabric. The weight of Mr. Qui’s cruelty was too much; he closed his eyes.

His arms itched again, as if remembering the dried blood from that day. "I’m not wearing this," he said, closing the box.

Theo shook his head and took the box from in front of Le An, handing it to another guard. They were currently at the fourth institute, the final task for Le An today. Mr. Qui’s gift had been delivered while they waited for the next group of espers to be brought into the hall.

Murderer.

Le An wanted to murmur it as his fingers scratched absently at his arms. Everyone working at the GAC turned a blind eye, deaf ears, and a silent tongue to what went on in that building. Their undying loyalty to the GAC stemmed either from fear or devotion. And when you considered how powerless Le An and those around him were in the face of the GAC’s might, that loyalty only served one purpose: it allowed Mr. Qui to commit murder in front of witnesses.

If Le An told people the story of the alpha who had been killed in that room, would anyone believe him? And even if they did, what then?

Ha, I’m just a coward, aren’t I?

Le An now wore a self-deprecating smile he hadn’t meant to show. Coward. A coward who turns his back on everything.

"...Le An?"

Le An flinched when Theo’s hand entered his field of vision. "Hm?"

"You can begin now."

An esper sat in front of him -apparently waiting to receive guiding for some time- and Le An had clearly zoned out. As he took the esper’s hand, Theo looked at him with veiled concern.

The moment the energy entered their body, the esper let out a soft sound of relief and instinctively curled their fingers inward, gripping Le An’s wrist.

Le An was too absentminded to notice. His gaze had drifted through the glass walls, out toward the gathering storm clouds.

"Treasure," the esper whispered, their thumb unconsciously brushing over the knuckles of Le An’s long, slender fingers. Le An turned, startled by the familiar feeling on his hand.

"You have scratches on your arms."

Le An looked down. It must’ve happened while he was scratching himself. Red marks now lined his forearms.

Ever since the experiments had begun, he had worn clothes long enough to cover the veins opened at his elbows.

"Ah, yes," Le An murmured, pulling down the sleeve of his blouse.

"Next," Theo called the next esper, his eyes still lingering on Le An’s arms.

It would take time for Le An to forget. His body, his reflexes, they screamed that what he had gone through was too much to bear.

"One night," Theo began, as the three parallel scratches on Le An’s arm reminded him of something. "You were talking in your sleep."

"Me?" Le An whipped his head around like a startled cat. Theo, unsure what to make of the panic on his face, nodded slowly.

"When I came to give you pheromones..." Perhaps it was a mistake to mention that day, the one marking the start of Le An’s heat.

Le An was probably trying to forget not just the alpha who’d died but also Theo and the betrayal from everyone else.

"What... was I saying?" Le An asked, trying not to show his fear of what he might’ve uttered in his sleep.

Contrary to what Theo thought, Le An had no intention of forgetting anything. And it had nothing to do with moving on. What else could he do even?

Theo stood a step behind him, watching the next esper approach, and finally repeated the words that had stayed with him.

"’Three slashes... you lied to me when you said it didn’t hurt.’ That’s what you murmured."

Le An’s energy pulse faltered just enough to notice, but he forced a smile. "I don’t remember anything, it must’ve been a dream," he said, averting his gaze.

Hadn’t he said that to Taras? The night his heat began, when Taras came to his pheromone chamber?

Le An swallowed hard. It seemed that when Theo came to give him his pheromones, Le An had mistaken him for Taras.

"You sounded... like you were talking to someone very close to you," Theo added.

Le An’s expression didn’t change, only his faint, curtain-like smile widened slightly.

"A talking-in-my-sleep habit was all I was missing."

Le An knew Theo’s nature well. The fact that he had waited this long to bring it up meant Le An must not have said anything specific about Taras, or even mentioned his name.

As his other hand absently went to the back of his neck, Le An thought: I never even... said Taras’s name to him. So, the chances of whispering it in his sleep were nearly zero.

Theo gave a mechanical smile as well, and in the awkwardness that followed, they both turned their heads. This same awkwardness had been occurring all day, whenever they struggled to find the proper distance between them.

It hurt Le An’s heart, but he knew keeping that distance was the right thing to do. And so, Theo’s sudden attempts at conversation, his curious and concerned glances, the way his hands would freeze mid-movement, all of it felt off.

After guiding the final esper at the institute, Le An moved to the private resting room prepared for him and sank into the armchair. As Theo spoke with the guard at the door about tomorrow’s schedule, Emerald entered through the partially open door.

When their eyes met, and guilt instantly surfaced on Emerald’s face, Le An couldn’t look at him.

It was the first time they’d seen each other since his heat ended. According to Theo, Emerald had known everything, yet he couldn’t endure what they had done and had left when Le An’s heat started. A GAC doctor had taken care of Le An during those hellish days instead.

"...How are you, Le An?"

Emerald stood there like a guilty child, hands folded in front of him, not daring to sit.

"I’m fine," said Le An, his default response to that question.

"I... I heard about what happened," Emerald continued, voice trembling. Le An caught his eyes again and gave him a weary look as if to say: Please, don’t.

"What happened, happened, Emerald. Let’s just forget it, okay?"

Emerald froze for a moment at Le An’s distant, exhausted smile. Then, unsure, he nodded. "Okay."

But Emerald knew Le An would never forget, or even want to. And if he wasn’t projecting his anger or disappointment onto them now, what did that mean?

Theo soon returned, and his eyes briefly lit up when he saw Le An smiling. But when his gaze turned to Emerald, the silent warning was clear.

Don’t push.

"Get some rest, Le An," Theo said as he moved to leave. "The guards will be stationed outside, and we’ll leave in twenty minutes. We have to head out early. You need to prepare for the GAC’s event."

Le An nodded, and both Theo and Emerald left the room.

"A little better than yesterday," Theo said about Le An as they walked down the corridor.

Emerald shot him a sharp look.

"What’s good about someone acting fine a day after witnessing a murder?"

If Le An was smiling and hiding his shock and anger, that wasn’t normal. That was exactly the opposite.

Theo didn’t reply, but Emerald could see it in his face; he was suppressing his own unease.

Trying to steer the conversation away, Theo asked, "Have you checked Le An’s vitals? His heat lasted a day shorter."

Emerald let the topic shift, partly because he himself was also confused by it. He opened the hologram of Le An’s medical results on his watch.

"It’s unclear. Balancing pheromones that quickly shouldn’t be possible," he muttered. "And the drug we gave him... it doesn’t have that kind of side effect or gland suppression. Maybe..." There was only one possibility left.

"Stress-induced heat shortening."

In rare cases, extreme stress could act like a suppressant and disrupt an omega’s pheromone output.

Theo nodded. The theory made sense.

Then a guard joined them, holding the gift box in front of Theo. "Mr. Qui must’ve heard that Le An refused to wear the gift. He sent it again," the guard said, unsure what to do with it.

The institute staff who’d witnessed Le An’s refusal must have informed Mr. Qui immediately.

Emerald opened the box and frowned at the blood-red speckled shirt, almost mockingly.

"This man..."

Theo noticed a new note inside and picked it up.

’I knew you’d be the first one to read this, Theo.’

Theo’s hand twitched.

’Deliver this gift to Le An again. He doesn’t know you’re the one who killed his previous mates. Isn’t that right?’

Theo crushed the paper in his fist, staring at the gift box.

Maybe he had barely, weakly managed to hold on to Le An once again. Their already damaged relationship could break beyond repair with one more blow. Le An might pull away entirely; even that faint permission he gave Theo to hold his hand might be revoked.

"Put the gift in the car," Theo said quietly. "Le An will wear it."

–––

Until the event began, Le An had no chance to rest. Last-minute duties had him guiding emergency espers at another institute, followed by some lab-related work. With everything piling up, returning to his official residence wasn’t feasible. They decided he’d go to the place closer to GAC headquarters.

Just when Le An got out of the bathroom, Theo came in. His face was troubled.

"What is it?" Le An asked first, then followed Theo’s eyes to the gift box resting on the table.

When Le An looked back at it, Theo spoke.

"You’ll have to wear that shirt, Le An."

Le An, fully aware of the torment that would come with wearing it, could only look at Theo with tired eyes.

"Why?" he asked, and the guilt on Theo’s face said everything, but revealed nothing.

"...," Le An said nothing more as he took the box, placed it on his bed, and lifted the shirt to examine it in the light. Without looking at Theo, he spoke. "I’ll be down shortly."

"About your appearance and hair-"

"Tell them it’s not necessary." As he placed the shirt back in the box and reached for the sash of his robe, he gave Theo one last look. "I’ll handle the rest."

He simply wanted a few minutes alone. A few minutes to breathe, because all day, he hadn’t had a single moment to stop and think, and this event wouldn’t allow for any, either.

The moment solitude wrapped around him, Taras entered his mind. And just like that, Le An’s expression sank further.

Taras hadn’t come in the three days since his heat ended. Maybe... maybe he regretted what he’d done. Regretted helping Le An.

Le An’s robe dropped to the floor with a heavy thud. The sun hadn’t set yet. Would he come tonight?

Since he would be at the event at midnight, Le An silently hoped Taras wouldn’t come tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I hope he’ll visit tomorrow, he thought.

But if he did come and Le An wasn’t there,... Oh, he might seek out another guide then. Le An smiled bitterly at the illusion he’d clung to, that he was the only one who could guide him.

"As long as he gets guiding, it’s okay..." Le An murmured.

But if he did come, he would probably go to Le An’s main residence. And if he didn’t find him there... would he check the others, maybe?

Le An picked up the event invitation from the nightstand and placed it in the center of the bed.

At last, dressed in the blouse he loathed, he stood in front of the mirror. When he threw on a jacket, hiding the crimson sleeves, he felt slightly more at ease.

As soon as he stepped out, a swarm of guards welcomed him with smiles. Le An smiled back, but the moment he did, the urge to cry stung the tip of his nose. He swallowed it down.

As they made their way toward the main GAC building, everything unfolded exactly as Le An had imagined.

Maybe only two minutes after Le An had left the house, Taras -searching for him- began checking the residences in shadow form. But what he found wasn’t Le An... just the invitation left in the center of the bed.

He had missed Le An by only two minutes.

The hours spent wondering whether to come... The moments spent wavering between abandoning Treasure or not... All of it had cost him the chance to stop him.

Even though he had made up his mind to tell Le An not to attend the event.

Now, in the room that still felt warm with Le An’s body heat, with droplets of water still clinging to the bathroom surfaces, and a fogged mirror wiped by his hand, Taras let out a breath. His chest rose and fell slowly.

At this event, gathering the nation’s most valuable figures, espers, and guides... awakeners would go after Treasure primarily, hunt him first, then the others.

To shake and destroy the system, they’d aim towards the symbol first. The very symbol of the country.

Maybe it was a sign for Taras to let everything go.

He sat on Le An’s bed.

Treasure might die tonight. He might survive, or he might be mortally wounded. He could die at the hands of the very people the country had turned its back on.

Do I want him to die or not? The question echoed, raw and loud, in Taras’s mind.

As his hand lingered on a wrinkle in the bedspread, he slowly leaned forward, pressing his palm into the mattress, and inhaled.

A faint scent. Barely there.

His body straightened. He walked to the bathroom and followed what his instincts told him to find.

His hand reached the damp sash of Le An’s robe. He brought it close to his face and breathed it in. Treasure’s scent. Beneath the suppressed layers of pheromones, his skin, his essence.

A new image surfaced in Taras’s memory, the night Le An cried, apologizing.

Taras stepped out of the bathroom.

An apology wasn’t enough. Not even a hundred apologies could undo what had been done. That apology meant nothing.

Hah... Taras grabbed the invitation Le An had left behind. He left it for him deliberately. Almost as if saying: Here’s why I wasn’t home. Let me go and pay for what I’ve done. Wouldn’t you want it to end like this, too?

Taras pulled out his phone, opened a photo, and stared at it for a long time.

Maybe Treasure needed to die tonight. And no one should save him.

Taras closed the photo and put the phone away.

A few minutes later, as his shadow blended into the space between light and darkness through a window, the sun finally began to set.