CHAPTER 909: BING XUE’S DESPERATION

"Hmm!" Bing Xue pulled her close, his lips crashing against hers in a fierce, desperate kiss. His teeth grazed her lower lip, demanding entry, and when she gasped, his tongue invaded her mouth with relentless hunger.

The kiss was domineering, wild, consuming, almost maddening. He swallowed her breath, his powerful arms locking around her like iron, as if he wanted to crush her into his very bones.

"Mmm!" She couldn’t understand what had triggered this sudden intensity. Struggling against him was useless; her hands shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge.

Since when was Bing Xue this strong?

She had always believed herself to be a step ahead of him. After all, when she had saved him from Huang Bai Xing’s clutches, when she had asked him to sacrifice himself in the secret realm of Congzhu, he had undergone the Phoenix Nirvana, his strength reset to nothing.

Even after his rebirth, though he had grown stronger, the last time she checked, their power had been nearly equal. So why...?

"A’Xue, stop! Stop!" She summoned her spiritual energy into her fingertips, ready to knock him unconscious and call for help.

She had already wronged her husbands by saving Yao Yanzi with her body. She couldn’t make the same mistake again. Bing Xue was important to her, yes, but she refused to hurt her husbands for him.

Perhaps her repeated rejections had pushed him too far. With a surge of blue spiritual power, he bound her wrists and gripped the back of her neck, forcing her to meet his burning gaze.

"Master," he growled, his voice rough with desperation, "didn’t you say we were equal in your heart? Didn’t you swear your love was unconditional, that we were irreplaceable? That we were your everything?" His once-gentle blue eyes were now bloodshot, wild with emotion. "Then why do you keep pushing me away?"

Shenlian Yingyue froze. She had never seen him like this—unhinged, volatile, a storm of raw need and fury. The quiet, devoted Bing Xue was gone, replaced by a man who looked at her as if she had betrayed him in the worst way.

And for the first time, she was too stunned to speak.

"Don’t you love me, Master?" Bing Xue’s voice cracked, tears spilling down his angelic face. His usual serenity was shattered, replaced by raw, heart-wrenching despair. His body trembled, his grip on her tightening as if she were his only anchor.

"Of course I love you!" She answered without hesitation. How could she not? They had spent over a hundred years together. Though time outside the Ethereal Small World had been shorter, their bond ran deeper than mere years.

"You say you love me, yet you keep pushing me away." His smile was fragile, his beautiful face pale with sorrow.

"I, I just need to check if you’re sober first!" she protested, her own heart aching. Seeing him like this was unbearable.

"Sober or not, you already know the truth." His fingers traced her cheek with heartbreaking tenderness, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. "If it weren’t you standing here, I would rather die than touch another."

When had her mask slipped off? When had her cloak been removed?

"A’Xue, I do love you, but I can’t break my husbands’ hearts. I already belong to them." She shook her head, then winced at her own words. Gods, did that make her sound like some heartless scoundrel? She loved him but refused him? What kind of twisted logic was that?

Disgust coiled in her stomach. Before she could stop herself, her palm cracked against her own cheek, hard enough to split her lip.

"Don’t hurt yourself, Yue." Bing Xue caught her wrist, his thumb brushing the blood from her mouth. Then, with deliberate slowness, he licked the crimson droplet from her lips before trailing kisses along her jaw. Every touch was intoxicating, laced with desperation.

"Am I not important to you?" His voice was raw. "Did you lie when you said you loved us all equally? Now you reject me for their sake—does that mean you never cared for me at all?" The accusation in his eyes was that of a discarded lover, as if she were some fickle master favoring old wives over new.

Shenlian Yingyue: "..."

Damn it all. She wanted to slap herself again. Back then, she hadn’t understood the difference between love for family, friends, and partners. She’d never imagined Zhiyi, Helan Yuze, and Jun Mu Yang would one day claim her as their wife. Or that she’d end up with three husbands.

(The two mysterious men in the spiritual spring? She’d mistaken them for Zhiyi and Jun Mu Yang at the time.)

Now, she knew better. But realizing it now felt like the cruelest joke. How could any man truly share the woman he loved? Even if her husbands never complained, she saw the pain in their eyes whenever another held her. If she’d known her words would chain them to her like this, she would have.

"What, Master? Do you regret loving us now?" Bing Xue’s voice cut through her thoughts like a blade. His eyes darkened dangerously. "Do you no longer want me?"

A shiver raced down her spine. Oh no. Had she just pushed him over the edge?

"You... you heard my thoughts?" She stiffened. She’d blocked her mind. How could he still?

"I guessed." He shrugged, the lie smooth as silk. Of course he couldn’t tell her the truth that her mental barriers were useless against them. They’d all agreed to keep that secret.

"A’Xue, am I even worth this?" Her voice broke. "I have too many husbands. You deserve someone who can give you everything, someone who’ll love you unconditionally, no matter who you are or what you become."

"Isn’t that person you?" Bing Xue stepped closer, tears glistening like shattered crystal. His nose flushed pink, his expression so vulnerable it stole her breath. "If you’re not worth it, then who is?"

Shenlian Yingyue: "..."

"Fine." His grip slackened. The light in his eyes dimmed, replaced by hollow resignation. "If you don’t want me, I won’t force you." His smile was bright, brittle, broken. "Leave me, Master. I’d rather die than live without you, and I won’t make you stay."

His knees buckled.

And then, he collapsed.