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    bEver /bAfter Awaits

    Chapter 57: Xavier bPOV /b

    I fucked up. And I have no one but myself to me.

    Since she left on Tuesday, I haven’t been able to stop thinking of her and our moment bin /bthe hallway.

    I get why she stopped things before they went further. I’m sure part of the reason was because of me and how I treated her up until the previous day. Another part was what happened between her and her mom. And I can respect her decision. I didn’t like it, but I respected it.

    I would have given anything at that moment to bury myself in her and make her forget that the rest of bthe /bworld existed. I wanted to show her I’m nothing like the idiot I’ve been acting like while she’s known me. And to make her forget everything and anything that doesn’t make her happy.

    Because for the first time in my life, I want a girl to be happy. And I want to be the cause of that happiness. Or at least part of it because I’ve also made peace that she’ll never just be mine. The other guys have a part of her too. And initially, I hated that idea. I’m naturally jealousb, /bso even thinking of seeing her in one of their arms made me see red.

    But when we are all together, something feels right, feels natural.

    My biggest test was when I saw her between Hunter and AJ in the pool. I was waiting for my irritation and jealousy to rear their ugly heads. But I only felt my resolve to make this work, strengthening when I saw how alluring and in her element she was as they were busy worshipping her.

    I iwanted /ito be a part of her life, in any capacity she’d take me, but preferably as one of her love interests. And for the first time, I wanted to work on myself and be a better person ifor /iiher/i. Without her knowing, the few times she’s stood up to me or even shown me her vulnerable side like the previous night, she broke down walls that I’ve thought would never even get a crack in them.

    So why I haven’t contacted her since that day, I have no fucking clue.

    The old Xavier would have sent her a few lusty messages, maybe a dick pic or two, and demanded shee over so I could get my rocks off. I never wanted to know how the girl was doing, or what she was up to.

    This new Xavier, though, was second–guessing himself around every corner. I wanted to give her space so she wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. But I also wanted to text her sappy messages like a lovesick puppy so she knows I’m willing to fight for her. I wanted to phone her to find out how she was doing, but I didn’t want toe across as clingy. Sob, /beven though I pulled her contact up on my screen numerous times over thest few days, bI /bcould never bring myself to press the damn call button.

    I was lost but too stubborn the ask the other guys for help, because I knew they were going to give me shit about being out of my element. And with me being vulnerable about these feelings I was having towards La, and not knowing what to do with them, I was likely to deck the first one of them who taunted me.

    I might talk a big game with the guys and even La, because I’m the one to take charge and fix things for whoever needed it at that moment in time. But behind my bedroom door, when it’s just me and all these new and unfamiliar feelings and thoughts, while also not knowing what’s the right thing to do so I don’t

    Chapter 57b: /bXavier POV

    fuck things up even further with her, bwas /ba mind–fuck all on its bown/b.

    That’s why I’m pissed at myself right now.

    It’s Friday night, and the boys and I are rxing around the living room. An action movie ys in the background, but we’re not paying attention. Our first game of the season is tomorrow, and ording to bthe /bcoach’s rules, no partying is allowed the night before. We’ve always followed this rule, but also know that some of our teammates take it more as a suggestion. Those are the idiots who seldom get off the bench because their bodies are still trying to recover from the previous night’s drinking and sex.

    There are empty pizza boxes on the coffee table, and we are in the living room, lounging on a seat or lying on the floor, like Cade. The mood is a mixture bof /bsubdued happiness and nervous excitement for the uing game, but stillfortable. It’s been a while since we’ve been in each other’spany without spitting threats or profanities at each other. And I like it.

    Deciding to bite the bullet, I clear my throat before asking nervously, “Does anyone know if Princess ising to watch the game tomorrowb?/bb” /b

    Hunter gives me a sly smile before asking, “Have you asked her toe?”

    Scratching the back of my neck, I say, “Not yet. I didn’t want to ask if any bof /byou already did.”

    AJ, who’s draped across the armchair, lifts his head in my direction, before answering, “What does it matter if we asked? Why don’t you still ask her? Then at least she knows you are still interested.”

    Indignantly, I answer him with a scowl, “Why would she not think I’m interested anymore?”

    “Have you spoken to her aside from the few curtments in our group chat?” Cade asks with an arched brow as he turns to his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

    Realizing where they’re going with this, I hang my head in shame, “No.”

    “So, pull your head out of your ass, pick up your phone, and call her and ask her,” Hunter says matter of factly as if it’s as easy as choosing a pastry from the disy case at the coffee shop.

    Looking at them individually, the encouraging smiles on their faces give me the guts to pull my phone from my back pocket and call the one person I’ve been craving to speak to all week.

    She picks up after the second ring, her singsong voice in my ear saying, “Yes, Tessa, we’re still behaving. Mason has bribed me with cuddles to stay awaketer than normal.”

    My mind goespletely nk for a second with blinding rage. Who the fuck is Mason?

    b2/3 /b