CHAPTER 98: BACK TO YOU

"Hey," he echoed, his voice rougher, low and thick like he hadn’t used it in hours.

Or maybe it was just the way her presence made him feel, like he still didn’t know whether to be angry or just glad to see her.

An awkward silence settled, cool and uninviting, as if neither knew what to say next without falling apart.

"You left," he said finally, not accusingly, just... honestly.

Merlina looked away, her throat tight. "I know."

"Didn’t even say goodbye," he said, his voice low. He waited for a response. She didn’t give him one, looked like she was still gathering her thoughts.

"Did I mean that little to you?" he asked again, softer this time, but no less hurt.

"I needed time," she said, without looking up, her gaze fixed on the dashboard, "After everything... after what we did, what we said. I just... I didn’t know how to go back to normal."

Craig let out a breath, "So you thought the best thing to do was leave me hanging?" he asked, eyes locked on the side of her face, "Didn’t care that I was reaching out? Texting? Waiting for you?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, guilt blooming in her chest like a bruise being pressed too hard. "I didn’t think I could face you," she said softly. "If I had stayed... I don’t think I would’ve been able to leave. And we would’ve made more mistakes."

Craig’s jaw clenched, the muscle ticking as he looked away, a bitter laugh escaping him, like it hurt coming out. "Mistakes?" he echoed, then turned back to her, his expression hardening, eyes dark and glassy. "That wasn’t a mistake, Merlina."

"Bad decisions," she added quickly, her voice barely above a whisper. "The kind that could hurt people...like it’s already hurting your relationship."

Craig’s mouth twitched at the corner, something between a smirk and a wince. He leaned back in his seat, scrubbing a hand over his jaw as if trying to collect himself. "Oh, I guess Phoebe told you."

His voice was calmer than it should’ve been, but there was an edge under it, tight and fraying.

"I didn’t break up with Adriana because of you," he said, eyes flicking toward her, then away again.

He knew that wasn’t entirely true, but he didn’t have the heart to stack more guilt onto Merlina’s already heavy list. So he lied, softly, easily. "We were already having our issues before you."

"Right," Merlina said, her tone quiet, like she didn’t fully believe him but wasn’t ready to challenge it. "Well... if I break up with Louis, it would be because of you. And I don’t wanna do that. He deserves better than this."

His nostrils flared slightly, and he exhaled through his nose, jaw ticking with tension. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight, like he was holding something back.

"So what are you gonna do, Merlina? Stay stuck with someone you—"

Merlina’s head snapped toward him before he could finish. She shook her head slowly, almost like she couldn’t believe they were really here, really saying this.

"What would you have me do?" Her voice cracked at the edges, raw. "Break up with him and then what?" She looked him dead in the eye, her chest rising and falling unevenly.

"Jump right into your arms?" The words spilled out sharper than she intended, more desperate than cruel.

Craig flinched almost imperceptibly, his lips parting, but no words came. He didn’t look away, though. Just... took it.

She turned slightly, running both hands through her hair like she was trying to ground herself, like her thoughts were spiraling too fast.

"What does that make me?" she whispered, the question not just for him but for herself.

She blinked fast, her eyes glassy. Her voice softened, but the weight behind it didn’t.

"Louis isn’t just my boyfriend, Craig." She paused, exhaling hard. "He’s my best friend’s brother. Megan’s brother. And they’re already dealing with so much—" her voice caught, "their dad is in the hospital. Fighting for his life."

Craig’s gaze dropped for a moment, his jaw tightening, fingers twitching against the steering wheel. He didn’t interrupt.

Merlina turned toward the window like she couldn’t bear to look at him while saying it.

"So I’m sorry..." Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. "But they matter to me. I can’t—" she choked, shaking her head, "I can’t hurt them any more than they’re already hurting."

A cruel silence settled between them. The only sound heard was from the buzz of heater and the ragged rhythm of both their breathing.

Craig didn’t speak. But his silence wasn’t empty. It was pulsing with everything he couldn’t say without unraveling. With all the things he couldn’t argue against because, goddamn it, she was right.

And still... it wasn’t enough for him.

He stared at the windshield, fogged and smeared with the cold, his reflection faint in the glass.

This was the part where he was supposed to nod and let her go. Let her choose the people hurting around her. Let her carry all their burdens so she wouldn’t have to face the truth burning between them.

But all he kept hearing when she spoke, over and over—was everyone else. Louis. Megan. Their father. Their pain. Their needs.

Everyone but them.

And suddenly, Craig realized, If he didn’t speak now, he might never get another chance.

And he wasn’t going to be noble. Not tonight. Not when the way she looked at him made his chest ache and his hands itch to touch her again.

So when he finally turned to her, something had changed. His eyes were darker. His mouth tight. His voice, when it came, was rough and splintered.

"So what," he said quietly, cutting through the silence like a blade, "you’re just gonna keep punishing us for caring about each other?"

His eyes didn’t waver. He wasn’t going to let her hide behind other people’s pain to avoid her own. Not this time.

"God, there are already rumors about us, Craig, it’s not looking good. I’m trying to protect everyone!" Merlina snapped, her voice tight, breathless. "Even you!"

"I don’t need protecting from this. I need you."

The words hit her like a punch. Her mouth parted, too stunned, but nothing came out. Nothing she could say would make the ache in between them go away.

So she closed it again, lips trembling faintly as she forced herself to meet his eyes.

And in that moment, she let herself really look at him. The tension in his jaw, the quiet hurt carved into the lines around his mouth, the desperation he was trying so hard to bury under frustration.

Damn, it broke something in her.

His eyes stayed locked on hers, like they were daring her to run.

"Tell me you don’t think about that night," he said, voice lower now but no less intense. "That it didn’t mean anything to you."

Her lips parted, then closed. She bit the bottom one, hard enough to stop the tremble. Her eyes flicked away, glassy and distant.

"Say you don’t want me," he murmured, softer this time, rough around the edges. "Right now. Say it, and I’ll back off."

She still didn’t say anything. Her thumb pressed into her palm, searching for something steady, something she could hold onto. She blinked once, slowly.

Her throat tightened like she might speak, but her eyes dropped to his mouth instead, lingering there.

He could see it, the war behind her eyes. She was struggling, and it made him want to pull her closer or let this go at the same time.

"Say it, Merlina—" he whispered, low and ragged, like he was barely holding it together.

This time she didn’t let him finish.

She leaned forward and kissed him, breathlessly and desperately, her lips crashing onto his like the tension between them had finally boiled over.

He inhaled sharply into her mouth as she pressed closer, and between kisses, she gasped against his lips, voice breaking with need.

"I want you," she whispered, then kissed him deeper, harder. "I want you, Craig."