CHAPTER 541: GUILT

Levi’s POV

I sat on the edge of my bed, my hands buried in my hair, staring at the floor that looked more and more blurry the longer I stared.

I wasn’t crying loudly.

No sobs.

No sounds.

Just silent tears running down my face like they were tired of staying inside.

The night felt cold. Too cold. Even for a wolf.

And for the first time in my entire life, I felt like the villain.

Not because someone called me one...

but because everything I did today proved it.

I dragged my hands down my face and let out a shaky breath.

I hurt Olivia.

I hurt Lennox.

I hurt Louis.

And the worst part?

I didn’t mean any of it.

Not a single word came from hate...

They all came from love—twisted, choking, desperate love that I had been holding inside for years.

I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes.

Inside my chest, something felt like it was collapsing.

Like the weight I had been carrying secretly finally smashed me down.

"Why am I like this...?" I whispered into the darkness.

I wasn’t born jealous.

I wasn’t born angry.

I wasn’t born to be the shadow in my own family.

But today...

I felt like every ugly part of me came out at once.

My mind replayed everything... painfully clear.

When I yelled at Lennox...

I wasn’t angry that he was alive.

I wasn’t angry that Olivia ran to him.

I was angry at myself.

Because a part of me...

a selfish, scared part...

wished I didn’t have to share her heart again.

That made me feel sick.

Wrong.

Ashamed.

How could I think that?

How could I even let that feeling exist?

Lennox suffered.

He lost everything.

He came back broken.

And my first reaction was jealousy?

I really was a monster today.

And when Olivia slapped me...

the pain on my cheek was nothing.

What truly hurt was knowing I deserved it.

I crossed a line.

I said something I should NEVER have said.

The moment the words left my mouth.

"Even when we are making love... you imagine it’s Lennox."

I hated myself instantly.

That wasn’t fair.

That wasn’t true.

That wasn’t love speaking.

That was fear.

Fear of losing her.

Fear of being replaced.

Fear that now that Lennox was back...

I was no longer needed.

I wiped my face quickly, but more tears came.

And the rejection thing... that was the worst.

I shouldn’t have told Lennox.

Not like that.

Not when he had just woken from a coma.

Not when he was already broken.

But seeing him look at her—

seeing the pain in his eyes—

the guilt inside me exploded.

I wasn’t trying to hurt him.

I wasn’t trying to ruin his heart.

I was trying to protect Olivia.

To protect all of us.

To protect the family.

But I did it the wrong way.

I did everything the wrong way.

And now...

Olivia hates me.

Louis is disappointed in me.

Lennox probably wants to kill me.

And I—

I just feel empty.

Completely empty.

Like no matter how much I try...

I will always be the one doing things wrong.

Always the one saying the wrong words.

Always the one who loves too loudly.

Always the one who feels too deeply.

I wiped another tear roughly.

"I didn’t want to be the villain," I whispered.

But today... I truly became one.

Not because I wanted to.

Not because I enjoyed it.

But because I loved too fiercely...

and I didn’t know how to hold that love properly.

"I’m sorry, Olivia..." I whispered into the quiet room.

"I’m sorry, brother..."

I hugged my knees and lowered my head.

I didn’t know how to fix any of this.

But for the first time...

I wanted to try.

I wanted to be better.

I wanted to stop being the villain in the eyes of the woman I loved.

My chest tightened again, and I had to stand up because sitting felt suffocating. The walls felt too close. The room felt too small. My emotions were too loud.

I walked out of my room without thinking.

The hallway was quiet. Everyone was asleep. Everyone except me—the only one drowning in emotions I couldn’t control.

I stepped outside and walked into the forest. The moment the cold air hit my skin, I shifted. Bones cracked, fur grew, and my wolf took over instantly.

We ran.

We didn’t think.

We didn’t plan.

We just ran.

Through branches, through mud, through darkness. My paws burned. My breath burned. My chest burned. But none of it hurt as much as Olivia’s tears. None of it hurt as much as seeing Lennox dying on the floor. None of it hurt as much as knowing Louis looked at me with disappointment.

I ran until my legs gave out.

I slipped on the wet ground and crashed into the dirt. My body shook violently. My wolf whimpered—a broken, painful sound that echoed through the forest.

I lowered my head and let the tears fall.

I wasn’t an Alpha tonight.

I wasn’t a warrior.

I wasn’t even a brother.

I was just a man who loved too hard... and ended up breaking everything he loved.

I curled into the dirt and closed my eyes.

For the first time in my life...

I felt truly alone. And it was all my fault.

I don’t know how long I stayed curled up in that cold dirt. Minutes... hours... it all felt the same. My wolf cried until he was too weak to even whimper. And when I finally shifted back, I just knelt there—naked, exhausted, and feeling like pieces of myself were scattered all over the forest floor.

I wiped the mud from my face and forced myself to stand.

My legs felt heavy.

My chest hurt.

My heart felt numb, still I walked back home.

When I reached the mansion door, I hesitated.

I didn’t want to walk inside.

I didn’t want to see anyone.

I didn’t want anyone to ask me what was wrong—because I already knew the answer.

Everything was wrong.

And I caused most of it.

I slipped inside quietly, careful not to wake anyone. The halls were dark and silent. Even the air felt heavy.

I walked straight to my room.

When I closed the door behind me, the weight of the whole day pressed down on my shoulders all over again.

I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

The water came down warm, but it didn’t warm me.

Didn’t soothe me.

Didn’t wash away the guilt.

It just reminded me how dirty I felt inside.

I pressed both hands against the shower wall and let the water run down my back.

My eyes closed.

My jaw clenched.

My chest kept tightening like it wanted to collapse again.

"Get it together," I whispered to myself. "Just... get it together."

After the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked back into the room. My bed looked cold and empty. Somehow, tonight, it felt too big—way too big for one person. Usually I spend the night with Olivia.

I slid into it anyway, lying on my back, staring at the ceiling.

Tomorrow would come.

Whether I wanted it or not.

Whether I was ready or not.

Olivia would wake up.

Louis would wake up.

Lennox would still be broken.

And I would still be the idiot who made everything worse.

I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes.

"I’ll face it," I whispered into the quiet room. "Whatever tomorrow brings... I’ll face it."