CHAPTER 460: WHEN GRIEF LEARNS TO BREATHE AGAIN

Evaline:

For a long while after Rowan’s words, silence filled the room again... heavy, still, and suffocating.

I could hear the faint creak of wood beneath his boots as he shifted, the quiet rustle of the curtains swaying in the breeze. Outside, birds chirped faintly, the world cruelly normal while mine had stopped moving altogether.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was low, steady... the kind of calm that could cut through a storm.

"You know," he said, gaze resting on Draven’s unmoving face, "I understand why you don’t want to move. Why it hurts so much you can’t even breathe without him. Because I have been where you are, Eva."

I turned toward him, but he didn’t look at me yet. His jaw was tight, his eyes distant... like he was seeing a ghost only he could see.

He took a slow breath. "It’s been one and a half years..." He said, swallowing hard, the faintest tremor flickering through his composure. "I have been visiting her every week since then. Sitting by her bed, talking to her like an idiot, hoping she would wake up."

He gave a humorless laugh. "But she never did."

My breath caught. "Rowan..."

"So... I know exactly how you feel right now," he continued, finally looking at me. His gaze was unwavering - steady, deep, and full of that quiet understanding I didn’t even realize I had been craving. "That ache that never goes away. The constant voice in your head saying you should have done something more. The helplessness when you realize you can’t."

My lips trembled. "You... you went through all that, and you still-"

"Still standing?" He gave a small, sad smile. "Barely. But I learned something from it, Eva."

He reached out to hold my hands. "Lyra wouldn’t have wanted me to destroy myself waiting for her. And Draven... he wouldn’t want that for you either."

My throat closed up again, fresh tears blurring my sight. "I can’t just walk away from him, Rowan. Not when he’s-"

He shook his head, cutting me off gently. "You are not walking away. You are standing up."

Before I could respond, he added quietly, "Kieran called me, you know."

That made me blink through the tears. "Kieran?"

"Yeah." Rowan’s gaze softened. "He said they have all been trying everything to reach you, but nothing’s worked. So he came to me. He told me you needed someone who knew exactly what you were feeling, someone who’s lived through it. He drove me here himself. And before I came inside, he told me one thing... that they were all counting on me to bring you back."

I shook my head immediately, panic clawing up my chest. "No, I can’t leave him, I-"

His voice firmed, not loud, but sharp enough to still my protest. "Eva."

I froze.

He leaned closer, his eyes locking with mine, unflinching. "I promised Kieran I’d make sure that by the time I was finished talking to you, you would walk out of this room with me. And I don’t break my promises."

I opened my mouth to argue again, but he lifted a hand, silencing me before I could form the words.

"You are not the only one hurting," he said quietly. "Draven has three brothers, Eva. Three men who love him just as much as you do. They are breaking too. You have seen it... they haven’t slept or eaten properly in days. They spends hours sitting outside this room, afraid you’ll collapse. They are dying inside. All three of them."

His voice softened, but his words hit hard, each one sinking into the guilt I had buried beneath my grief.

"They have already lost one brother. And now they are terrified of losing you too. You are making them watch it happen all over again, Eva."

My breath hitched. I hadn’t thought about that... not really. Every time they had come to check on me, I’d just looked through them, lost in my pain. But I remembered the way Kieran’s voice had cracked, the way River’s hand had trembled when he had placed a blanket over me, the way Oscar had stood at the door too long, silent, like he was afraid to blink.

Rowan’s voice grew gentler, almost a whisper now. "You think you are honoring Draven by staying here, but all you are doing is breaking the people he loves... including you."

The words tore through me like lightning... painful, but true.

"I..." My voice faltered. "I didn’t mean to..."

"I know." His tone softened even more. "Grief makes us blind. It convinces us the world stopped moving when our hearts did. But that’s not true. It never is."

He paused then, studying me for a long moment before speaking again.

"And then there’s Lioren."

At the sound of my son’s name, my entire body stilled. My heart... or what was left of it... seemed to stop.

"Lioren..." I whispered, my voice cracking.

Rowan’s eyes held mine, firm but kind. "He hasn’t seen you in almost a week, Eva. He cries at night for his mother. Your mates try to soothe him, but it’s not the same. He needs you."

The guilt hit like a physical blow. My breath left my lungs in a sharp gasp as the memories surged... Lioren’s tiny fingers curling around mine, his soft coos, his sleepy smiles. My baby. My little boy.

And I had forgotten him.

Tears spilled again, hot and heavy, but this time they weren’t just grief... they were guilt, raw and crushing. "Oh stars... what kind of mother am I?"

Rowan shook his head quickly, pulling me into his arms before I could crumble again. "You are not a bad mother, Eva. You are just a heartbroken one. But you need to remember... he’s your reason to stand up now. If not for yourself, then for him. For all of them."

I stared at our joined hands, trembling. The warmth of his grip anchored me, pulled me back from the edge I hadn’t realized I was hanging over.

He took a deep breath and went on. "If you keep staying here, if you keep fading like this, you won’t be able to help Draven. You won’t find answers sitting beside his bed. What he needs isn’t your tears... it’s your strength. Someone has to go out there, investigate these Soul Death cases, find a cure. That someone could be you."

The words struck something inside me... a faint ember under all the ashes of my grief. The first spark of purpose I’d felt since that night.

"But what if..." My voice trembled. "What if there’s no cure?"

Rowan’s hand squeezed mine gently. "Then at least you’ll know you tried. And I know Draven well enough to tell you this... he would rather you fight for him than waste away waiting."

For a long while, I couldn’t answer. My gaze drifted back to Draven, to his still, beautiful face that looked almost peaceful under the morning light.

I reached out, brushing my fingers over his cheek. "You would want that, wouldn’t you?" I whispered. "You would want me to fight."

Something inside me cracked then... not in pain this time, but in release.

I took a shaky breath, then another, until my lungs finally remembered how to work again. My body felt weak, but for the first time in days, I wanted to move.

Rowan watched me quietly, a small, approving smile flickering across his face.

When I finally looked at him again, my voice was barely a whisper. "I’ll go... but not while he’s here. Not this far away."

He nodded immediately. "I thought you’d say that. Don’t worry... your mates have already arranged everything. They are moving Draven back to the estate. He’ll be right there with you, surrounded by his family. You won’t be apart from him."

My lips parted in disbelief. "They are... moving him?"

"Yes." Rowan stood, offering his hand to me. "And now it’s your turn, Eva. Time to come out of this room. He needs you to keep going."

For a heartbeat, I hesitated... staring at Draven one last time, memorizing every inch of his face. Then, slowly, I slipped my hand into Rowan’s.

The world outside the door waited... painful, uncertain, but real.

As Rowan led me toward it, my heart thudded weakly in my chest. My steps were unsteady, but each one felt like reclaiming a piece of myself I had lost.

When the door opened, warm sunlight spilled in... and there they were.

Kieran. River. Oscar.

All three of them stood just outside, exhaustion etched into their faces, eyes red from sleepless nights, hearts broken but still beating.

When they saw me, their expressions changed... from shock to something else. Relief. Hope.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.

But when I stepped out of that room - when I finally breathed the fresh air again - it felt like the first step toward something new. Not an ending.

A beginning.

For Draven. For my family. For me.