CHAPTER 192: THE DYING HEART

My fist rested against the door beside her head, the echo of my earlier slam still ringing in my ears, my eyes red and teary, locked on hers. Aeri stared back, her gaze filled with worry and guilt, her lips parting as she whispered my name. "Ezra..."

Knock Knock The sharp sound cut through the heavy silence, startling Aeri a little.

"This is staff from the hotel," a polite but firm voice called from the other side of the door. "We just came to confirm—is everything okay inside? The guests heard a loud bang."

Aeri’s eyes flicked to the door, then back to me, her expression softening but still tense. She swallowed, her voice steady but quick as she responded, keeping her gaze on me.

"Y-yes... yes, everything’s okay. It was me, I just fell against the door, so that’s why. I’m sorry for the disturbance caused." Her words were calm, covering for my outburst, her hand resting lightly on her chest, as if to anchor herself.

"Alright, ma’am, sorry for the disturbance as well," the staff member said, her voice fading with the sound of retreating footsteps down the plush-carpeted hallway.

Aeri didn’t acknowledge the staff further, her eyes never leaving mine, worry etched into her features, her lips parting to speak.

"Can you calm down now—" she started, her voice soft, pleading.

But I cut her off, my voice sharp, the hurt and anger spilling over.

"What is missing in me?" I asked, my tone serious and straightforward, pulling my fist from the door, my hands dropping to my sides as I stood straight, my chest heaving, my eyes burning into hers. The question hung heavy, raw, my heart pounding with the fear of her answer.

Aeri’s eyes widened, her hand still on her chest, her fingers curling into the fabric of her shirt.

"Huh? What do you mean?" she asked, her voice trembling, her brows knitting together in confusion, searching my face.

I stepped closer, my jaw tight, my head lifting to glare at her, my tears threatening to spill, my voice rising despite the lump in my throat.

"Can’t you hear? Are you deaf or something?" I said, the words harsh, cutting through the quiet suite, my hands clenching into fists at my sides, my breath shaky.

Aeri gulped, her eyes glistening, a flicker of fear crossing her face, her body tensing against the door.

I took a breath, trying to steady myself, my voice dropping but still firm, the hurt clear in every word.

"I asked what’s missing in me that makes you reject me?" I repeated, clearer now, my eyes locked on hers, red and teary, the pain of her earlier words—"we can’t"—still slicing through me like a knife.

"Nothing is missing in you, Ezra," Aeri said, her voice soft but strained, her hands clenching into fists at her sides, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It’s just me... I’m finding it hard to..." She trailed off, her gaze dropping to the floor, her lips parting in a shaky breath, as if the words were too heavy to say.

"Hard to what?" I asked, my voice sharp, the hurt and anger bubbling under the surface, my hands still trembling at my sides, my chest tight as I stepped closer, my eyes searching hers for answers.

The suite felt smaller, the walls closing in, the snowy city outside too quiet, amplifying the weight of her silence.

Aeri looked up, her eyes meeting mine, her voice rising slightly, laced with desperation. "Hard to accept all of this," she said, her words coming out faster now, her hands gesturing vaguely between us. "You having feelings for me is one thing, Ezra, but I always looked at you as... as a stepson I raised." Her voice cracked. "Then, two weeks ago, you telling me you love me... it’s a whole lot to take in. I’m trying, but it’s overwhelming."

Her words hit like a punch, each one sinking deeper, my breath catching as I processed what she meant.

I stepped back, my hands sliding into my pants pockets, my jaw tight, my hair falling further over my eyes, shielding the tears threatening to spill.

"And what about us fucking each other?" I asked, my voice low and serious, the words raw and blunt. "What about the blowjob you gave me at the Ferris wheel?" I tilted my head, my gaze piercing through my hair, locking onto her, the memories of our passion now tinged with doubt.

Aeri swallowed hard, her eyes flickering with guilt, her hands twisting together in front of her.

"As I said," she started, her voice quieter now, almost a whisper, "if that’s what makes you even the slightest bit happy, if it makes you feel... accepted, then I’ll let you do it." Her words were earnest, her eyes searching mine, pleading for understanding, but they cut deeper, twisting the knife in my chest.

"Ohh, is that so?" I said, my voice cold, my hands clenching in my pockets, my hair fully covering my eyes now, hiding the hurt, the anger, the heartbreak. I could feel the sweat on my brow, the ache in my chest, the weight of her words making it hard to breathe.

"So all this... it was just you pitying me? Letting me have you because you felt sorry for me?"

"No, Ezra, that’s not—" Aeri started, her voice desperate, her hands reaching out, but I didn’t let her finish, my gaze snapping up to meet hers, my eyes red and teary, burning with pain.

"Then what, Aeri?" I said, my voice rising, raw and unsteady. "You’re telling me you don’t feel this? That everything we did was just... what? Charity?" My hands pulled out of my pockets, one gesturing wildly, the other pointing at my chest, my heart pounding so hard it hurt.

Aeri’s eyes glistened, her lips trembling, her hands dropping to her sides. "I do feel something, Ezra," she said, her voice breaking, a tear slipping down her cheek. "But it’s complicated. I care about you, so much, but I don’t know if I can be what you want... not yet. I need time to figure it out."

Tap Tap

The sound of my fingers brushing the door knob cut through the silence, my hand moving almost on instinct.

Clack I turned it, opening the door, the cool air from the hallway rushing in, a stark contrast to the warmth of the suite.

"We should leave now," I said, my voice flat, my eyes avoiding hers as I stepped through the doorway, my heart heavy, the hurt swallowing me whole.

I walked out, my footsteps muffled on the plush carpet, not looking back.

Aeri stood frozen in the room, her eyes dropping to the floor, her shoulders slumping, sadness etched into her face. Her hands clenched into fists, her lips parting in a silent breath, knowing how much her words must have broken my heart.