CHAPTER 127: MAKE HER GIGGLE, MAKE THEM JIGGLE

"Watch where you going, Rae."

"Hmmm... what?"

Thuck.

Rae was too deep in his own head. Like, way too deep.

He was thinking about something—he didn’t even remember what it was now—and because of that, he didn’t hear Melissa’s voice at the right time.

Or maybe he heard it, but his brain was too slow to care. Anyway, the next second, his face went straight into the side of a damn tree.

"Shit!"

Of course, he went down like a sack of potatoes, both hands shooting up to rub his cheeks.

Rae groaned loud enough for a squirrel in the branches above to pause its acorn-eating and look down.

His cheeks were already starting to sting, and the bark had left this scratchy feeling on his skin.

Not to mention, stupid Melissa was laughing her ass off. She was literally leaning forward, clutching her stomach like she was about to collapse from it.

"Ara ara, Rae-kun. I told ya, didn’t I? Ha ha ha, why didn’t ya listen to me?"

Rae groaned, jumped to his feet, and jabbed an accusing finger at the older woman.

She was squatting near the side of the dirt road, fiddling with the reins of her horse like she had all the time in the world.

"You no said earlier. Rae avoid hit."

He made sure to lay on his dumb goblin accent extra thick. This wasn’t Lyra or Alice—this was Melissa. He didn’t know much about her at all, and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

Well... except for the obvious things. The very obvious things. Like how she had some damn fine milkers and plump hips that could put a bakery to shame.

Right now, the way she was squatting made it worse. The bulge of her hips and butt cheeks were pressing against the tight green leather of her armor, looking like they were seconds away from breaking free.

Rae’s eyes lingered for maybe a bit too long, but come on. How was he supposed to ignore that.

"Ha ha. Don’t accuse me, Rae-kun. You did it yourself. What were you thinking walking around without looking?"

Melissa stood up slowly, brushing the dirt off her pants. She adjusted her saddle straps twice, pulling them tighter than needed, then bent down to make sure it was sitting just right.

After that, she picked up her bow, slung it across her back, and tied her quiver to the side, making sure none of the arrows would fall out while she moved. She even gave it a little shake to check.

’Where the hell is she going?’

Rae thought. His eyes followed her the whole time.

He was confused, and honestly, a bit pissed too. Like, come on, all of them together had been thrown around like ragdolls by one goblin.

And now here they were, acting like nothing happened. These fools were really about to march into the forest again. Alone. No backup, no plan. Just vibes.

It wasn’t even like they had learned anything from last time.

Did they think that if they ran into Gear again, somehow the result would be different?

That maybe he would just stand there and let them win out of pity?

’All of you can’t take him down, so why?’

Rae thought, his jaw tightening.

It was the same with Celeste. But Celeste was different. With her, everyone at least believed there was a fighting chance.

It wasn’t just wishful thinking. She had speed, she had technique, and she could think on her feet. If she ran into Gear again, even alone, she would probably come back alive.

Maybe injured, maybe tired, but alive.

’But what about you, Melissa? You’re not Celeste?’

Rae tilted his head when he thought that. He had no idea why, but the words just came out like that, like they were important somehow.

Not to mention, if Melissa was seen by Gear, Rae was sure the stupid guy would try to do something lewd to her.

Gear was exactly that type of moron. Always sniffing around where he shouldn’t be, acting like some kind of hero but really just a walking pile of bad ideas.

Rae didn’t even want to imagine that scene because it made his chest feel heavy.

Rae scratched his head slowly, like the motion might help him think. That cannot happen at all. No way. The heroes were his. And his alone.

He didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. Even if it meant being selfish, so what. People already called him selfish anyway.

At least, that’s what he felt from Alice just now.

He can’t just let anyone go out like that. That was basically like sending them into the mouth of a hungry beast and saying good luck.

So he made the decision right there on the spot. No more thinking. No more waiting.

"Rae coming with madame!"

His voice came out stronger than expected, almost proud.

He beamed as he stepped towards her with an innocent smile.

It was the same exact smile he used back when he managed to sneak into her tent that one time, only to end up being scooped into her arms and pressed into her heavenly pillows.

That memory was still fresh in his mind, warm and soft and hard to forget.

"Hmm... you want to come, Rae-kun? But it’s dangerous for a guy like you out there. If it’s just me, I can manage to escape somehow..."

Melissa’s voice was gentle, but there was a pinch of worry in it.

Melissa was, of course, looking out for the guy. How couldn’t she. He was just a dumb little goblin with more guts than brains.

Poor guy probably couldn’t even fully grasp the kind of danger waiting outside the shield. One wrong step and it was all over.

Rae didn’t get that. Or maybe he did but just didn’t care.

Melissa clicked her tongue, a sharp little tsk that carried all the weight of someone who’d already lost count of how many stupid decisions she’d seen today.

She shook her head slowly, as if the sheer density of idiocy in the air was physically trying to knock her over.

She was against Celeste’s idea for the suppression spell—completely against it—but she also knew deep down that it was the only way to keep these dumb, ridiculously cute creatures from getting themselves turned into decorative stains on the forest floor.

The only other option, of course, was the simple, tried-and-tested method of slaughtering every last one of them.

Clean, quick, and without all this emotional nonsense.

She closed her eyes for a second, letting the thought roll around in her head, and then went back to her work on the horse.

Checking straps, brushing down its mane, running her fingers along the leather saddle as if the act itself could keep her from getting sucked into more goblin-related drama.

But still, to think the goblins can’t feel their real emotions, that include fear and all—it almost made her feel sorry for them. Almost.

Like watching a kitten try to fight a snake because it thought the tail was a toy. What if Rae somehow slipped out of here and ran into that young goblin, Gear?

Melissa could already see it—Rae, grinning like an idiot, running toward him with all the misplaced trust of someone who’s never had their face smashed into a tree before, thinking, Oh yay, a friend. And then—wham—getting his rear end handed to him before he even knew which way was up.

Obviously, if she knew the truth, she would know she is the dumb one.

She let out a long, tired breath. Sigh. Another sigh, softer, like she was trying to exhale the stupidity right out of the air.

"But Rae strong. Look madame."

He puffed his chest like he was about to break the world in half, then waddled around to the other side of the horse with tiny, awkward steps, like a duck that had just discovered legs.

He stopped, planted his little green feet, and flexed his nonexistent biceps with the seriousness of a champion showing off Olympic gold.

Seeing this, Melissa just lost it. A snort escaped before she could stop it, and then came the full-on laugh, loud and rich, like she’d just seen the funniest thing in months.

In front of her was a stupid goblin, the most generic kind you could imagine—ugly, misshapen, skin like old leather—wearing nothing but a worn loincloth that had definitely seen better days, striking a pose like some muscle-bound hero.

"Ha ha ha. You’re too funny Rae. What is that?"

She pointed with one elegant finger at the pathetic sack of loose skin that drooped from his arms, hanging sadly where a bicep should’ve been.

It was like his muscles had packed up and moved out years ago.

Rae didn’t flinch. He didn’t sulk. If anything, his grin got wider, as if her laughter was the sweetest music he’d ever heard.

He wasn’t the type to cry over honest comedy. No, he thrived on it. He knew the truth of the world, a truth passed down from the masters of mischief themselves:

If you can make her laugh, you can make them jiggle.

So Rae closed his eyes, soaking in Melissa’s giggles like warm sunlight, storing every sound deep in his greedy little heart while quietly plotting for the day those giggles turned into jiggling.