CHAPTER 92: WHAT DID HE SAY?!

Rae’s eye twitched.

Hard.

But he couldn’t, absolutely couldn’t, waste this golden ticket of an opportunity, even if this goblin was giving off some serious man-crush-on-steroids energy.

’Even if he’s a damn homo... I can endure.’

’I’m not talking about my ass, okay?’

’Just... the creepy stares. That’s all.’

He cleared his throat like a man trying to shake off a very awkward massage and turned toward Celeste.

"Anyway! You might be wondering why I called you here, hero?"

He spun on his heels so fast it was almost dramatic—and instantly felt 100% safer just not facing Gear’s sparkle-eyed worship ’from behind.’

’Wait. From behind? Oh hell no.’

Rae immediately side-stepped with all the grace of a man dodging a ghostly cold finger on his butt.

’Protect the booty. Always protect the booty.’

"Yes... Why?"

Celeste’s internals fried like eggs on a hot skillet.

Ain’t no damn way she could stay normal in a moment like this.

How the fuck was he alive? Walking. Breathing. Smirking.

The goddamn Goblin King.

Healthy. Unscarred. Looking like he just stepped out of a royal spa day.

’Be gentle like a breeze...’

She whispered her mantra, clutching it like a lifeline.

But it was doing jack shit. Her heart was pounding like war drums.

’Dad... lend me your strength...’

She could end this. Right here. Right now.

Nuke the whole fucking place.

Take these two bastards with her in a glorious blaze of righteous justice.

But...

Not yet.

She bit her lip, biting down so hard she nearly drew blood.

She couldn’t afford to go full divine-flame on them—not until she got some answers.

His armies. His base. His numbers. She needed the full picture.

She clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes.

That’s when he dropped the bomb.

"There’s a whole army of my people just waiting outside your tents."

?!!!

"What?!"

Her brain short-circuited.

Her body?

Did a whole damn mental flip. Like a gymnast. On fire.

’What did he just say?!’

An army? Outside their tents?

Her tents?! As in—their safe zone? Their base camp??

’No no no. Don’t tell me...’

Her eyes blew wide open, pupils shaking like an earthquake.

’He lured me here?!’

Of course. Of fucking course.

This wasn’t just some random ambush. This was orchestrated.

This was chess-level villainy.

This was Goblin King bullshit.

And she walked right into it.

Like a dumbass.

She had been blinded. Blinded by her own goddamn power.

Celeste had actually believed that if she walked alone, she could handle any threat the world threw at her. Any villain. Any monster.

But this?

This was on her.

She had forgotten the golden rule of war:

Never split the party.

And now she was out here—alone, out of position—while the injured ones, her comrades, were sitting ducks in their tents.

All because of her ego.

’NO! What a fool I’ve become!!’

Her teeth ground together as fury bubbled up. Not at them. At herself.

Meanwhile, Rae was sweating actual buckets. The kind of sweat that could hydrate a desert.

’Please buy it. Please buy it. PLEASE buy it!!’

He wasn’t even sure if Gear had an army behind him.

Maybe a few drunk goblins doing cardio back at camp? Maybe a rat on a leash?

Fuck if he knew.

All Rae had done was throw out the most confident-sounding lie his little goblin brain could craft on the spot.

He wanted to live. That was all. He had no plans, no army, no backup.

Just vibes and lies.

Meanwhile, Gear... Gear was having a religious experience.

’He has another army besides us?!’

His brain popped like confetti.

’No wonder he didn’t call me earlier! He was busy raising another goddamn army!’

Tears welled up in his eyes.

Tears of pride.

He looked at Rae with stars in his eyes like he’d just seen a prophecy unfold.

’My king... is on another level...’

If Rae had heard even a quarter of the absolutely delusional fanfiction Gear was cooking up in his head, he would’ve exploded.

Blood. Out the ears. Gone.

Instead, Rae stayed calm. Played the role. Mask of confidence plastered on like a pro actor clinging to an Oscar nomination.

He took a slow, ominous step forward.

Voice deep. Poised. Kingly.

"I did warn you, hero... I have long outgrown your kind."

Inside?

’PLEASE LET THAT SOUND COOL. PLEASE.’

"As I was saying, the army is going to slaughter—"

"What the fuck do you want?!"

"..."

"..."

Rae blinked.

Just stood there blinking like his brain had been drop-kicked.

He was about to launch into a monologue.

You know, the monologue—deep, edgy, full of "your world will burn" and "kneel before me" kind of shit. Real final boss vibes.

But no.

She cut him off.

Hard.

And with fuckin’ profanity?

’So she can say bad words... huh.’

’That’s kinda hot.’

’Wait, does she secretly finger herself too?’

’Hehehe... Now that would be a plot twist.’

Rae grinned internally like a filthy little goblin Santa.

Meanwhile, Celeste was clenching her chest so tight her armor whined.

"If you’re planning to kill, just kill me."

"I’m the strongest here—you know that."

"But don’t expect me to spy for you. "

"Or—or be your damn slave. I won’t break under torture, and I sure as hell won’t—"

Rae smirked and cut her off with two words.

"Your panties."

"You can’t have my panties ei—EHHHH?!"

Her ears bled.

Meanwhile Gear choked.

A real krghh! left his throat as if a bone got lodged in it, except the bone was made of secondhand embarrassment and awe.

Celeste’s eyes did a full cartwheel.

Even her magic stopped moving.

Did he just say panties?!

To HER?!

The silence was so heavy it could crush a castle.

And then—snrk—Gear wiped his tears like a proud goblin uncle at a school play.

’My liege... no man—no living organism—could say something so shameless and survive.’

’He’s not just a king. He’s a goddamn force of perversion. My inspiration. My spirit animal.’

Meanwhile Rae stood there, hands behind his back like a diplomatic warlord, pretending like he didn’t just commit verbal war crimes.

He gave Celeste the most serious stare.

"Lace. Black. Preferably worn."

Celeste’s jaw unhinged. Her soul left her body.