CHAPTER 314: TIRED (3)

"Well, thanks for making me sound like a horrible person," Ari grumbled as he glared at Chloé, who looked like she couldn’t care less.

"It seems that your ears are simply there for decoration? I told you I don’t have a problem with how you act. I don’t even think your behavior is as bad as it could be, and if I were in your position and going through what you did at your age, I would have done worse, and I’ve certainly done worse in the past. However, actions have consequences, and even if you mean well, if you’re in a group, everyone must bear the burden of your actions. And no matter how well-intentioned you may be, however justified you think you are, sometimes people don’t want to deal with the consequences of someone else’s actions. When they feel like they’re getting punished for something they didn’t do, it breeds resentment, which turns into anger, and little things like that can make or break a group."

Chloé paused as the waiter knocked on the partition to deliver the food.

Once it was all on the table and she saw Ari take his first bite, she continued the impromptu lecture.

"They say people are like eggs or rocks, and life is a battle of bashing against things and figuring out which one you are. It goes without saying that you are like a rock. This show and the people running it are a bigger rock you keep bashing against, which is why I said you look tired. And unfortunately, it will only get worse as you try to adapt to the industry. You have a personality that doesn’t mesh with this system, and to be frank, doesn’t really fit in a group. If you want to be in entertainment, that’s fine, but why not consider an alternative avenue that will be less stressful and toxic? I don’t want to watch Ariella’s son become a shell of himself while chasing a dream; I don’t want you to have to change your personality and lose that rebellious charm that makes people like you just to accommodate others, and I don’t want you to have to swallow things when you’re wronged. It may not be my field of expertise, but I have a few contacts here or there, and I think you’ve gained enough popularity here to give you a good start elsewhere, no? Why don’t you quit this show?"

At Chloé’s blunt statement, Ari could only laugh because her words were as cruel and pointed as ever.

"Well, you’ve raised several good points. And you’re not the only one who’s told me that. This past week, I’ve had conversations and really considered quitting."

Due to one of the tasks of the surprise mission, which would bring an end to Pop Star Academy as a whole, Ari had talked candidly to the five people he was closest to.

Jamie, Benjamin, Carlos, Mathew, and Vishal, whom he hadn’t talked to in a while due to their last discussion.

Since he had never considered becoming an idol before gaining NOVA and had no attachment to Pop Star Academy, Ari wanted to understand their mindsets, what motivated them to get on an idol survival show, and what they planned to do if they couldn’t debut or if things fell through.

"And?"

"I’ve thought about it, and you’re right. This show is really tiring for me. If the industry is like this, I’ll probably be really tired later, too. But, even though I hate a lot of things about the show... I like it more than I hate it. I like the people I’ve met here a lot. I like the challenges. I like some trainers. I don’t mind the group aspect. I like performing on stage and seeing people be happy when I do well. I like learning how to make music both alone and with friends. It’s hard and it’s different, but it’s also fun and therapeutic. There’s a lot that’s not shown because of the drama the PDs like to show, but it’s not all bad. It’s just a completely different world, and I’m learning a lot. I don’t think I could get this much training and exposure to various things if I tried to become an idol on my own. I wouldn’t even know where to start."

[That’s where I come in.]

Even with you here, the experience on the show has been invaluable.

"So? You’re also good at other things and are still young enough to pivot. Statistically, most groups disband, so is it even worth the effort to join one? Especially this one that looks like a ticking time bomb from top to bottom? Just go solo."

"I don’t want to do that. At least not anytime soon. I want to try to debut here with the group. The company has money and is willing to spend it, and has experience in creating BTZ, the current biggest boy group in the world. People like Jamie, Ben, Carlos, and Levi are rare talents that I might not have met elsewhere, and they are genuinely good people to have on your team. Of all the people, I think those 4 would make it. If I make the debut team, there should be no foolishness on the management side because that will affect their pockets. Even if the person managing the debut team doesn’t like me, the creative director does, which balances it out. I think it would work out."

"And that personality of yours? There’s a reason you preferred playing individual sports."

"Honestly, it’s a work in progress. One of the contestants actually spoke to me about always having to get my way and...I am trying. It’s not an excuse, but people keep messing with me, and it’s just hard not to snap back. But, I don’t want people to have to bear consequences for my actions, and I don’t want to be the reason the group I join disbands, so I’ll try a bit harder. My goal is to become the biggest global idol superstar that the world has ever seen, but I don’t want that to happen in a way that ruins the group, ends friendships, or alienates others." Ari replied stubbornly.

"Even if it ends badly? The greatest idol superstar. That’s a bold claim. Your personality aside, having a goal like that frequently causes groups to break up because one person ends up being the breakout star while the other falls behind."

"I don’t know the future obviously, but I don’t think my dream differs from anyone else’s on the program, and I don’t believe that being the biggest superstar is mutually exclusive from being part of a group. We’re in a competitive situation, and apart from Le Blonde, right now, nobody among the remaining people has done anything shady. Perhaps it’s because the production team created a common enemy, but it’s very different from what it was in the beginning; everyone is working hard to deliver the best performance and let that speak for them rather than trying to stand out at all costs. And I believe that as long as everyone continually strives to improve themselves and remembers the journey, for those who make the debut team, it should be possible to stay together for a long time. Also, for someone who says they don’t care, you’re asking a lot of questions."

Chloé just stared at Ariel, wondering if she should pop the bubble of naïveté that seemed to still remain.

Everybody might be working hard on the surface, but she could guarantee that there were undercurrents that Ariel was probably oblivious to because he was so wrapped up in his own troubles, simply didn’t care enough to pay attention, or were never brought up because people didn’t want to argue with him.

After all, people were selfish.

There’s no way everyone was trying to peacefully get along in a survival show that could help them achieve their dreams.

The contestants absolutely wanted to stand out, get more screen time, more parts, more votes, and would do anything to get it.

It was probably just more subtle than it was in the beginning.

When they debuted and became stars, those wants would only increase, especially when money, power, and fame were involved.

When people were thrown into a world of fame, their true colors often came out, and that’s when things would fall apart.

There was no guarantee that this company, which cheerfully pitted contestants who were supposed to end up on one team against each other, would handle it well.

And there was no guarantee that these contestants, who were used to fighting against each other, would be able to transition into perfect teammates that could support each other without jealousy.

Especially if one of them wanted to grow and become the biggest in the world.

Chloé worried quite a bit, especially with the brief report Sabine had given her.

She worried for Ari, who was currently rising to an unprecedented level of popularity but was also gaining as many anti-fans due to various scandals, and this company was not ideal.

She worried about his relationship with other contestants.

And she worried that if he debuted here, while it might be true that the company wouldn’t openly sabotage him, there were plenty of other ways to use an individual and block their future path to success.

If it were her, she would leave and find another avenue, but judging by the stubborn position of his mouth, it seemed Ari had no such plans, unfortunately.

"Let’s just say I’m curious and want to make sure you’re thinking. You really don’t plan on quitting? Think it through properly, chou chou."

"I’ve thought about it. Quitting...I don’t want to do that. It somehow feels like losing, and so many people have spent money, time, and energy to support me. Not just in voting or buying things, but in defending me online. In cheering me on, even when it seemed like everything was against me. In posting things about me because I brought them joy by existing. It sounds a bit egotistical, especially after you called me selfish, but it feels selfish to quit just because I’m having a hard time. Also...I don’t want him to win."

"Le blonde?"

"Ouais. I will do my best to debut, of course, but I also want to try to ensure he doesn’t debut. It’s been foiled before, but this time, because of this incident and the performance we just had, there’s a good chance he’ll drop down the ranks. If everyone keeps working hard, once the public turns on him and his votes decrease, he might not make it."

"Not worried about manipulation? After all, the PD support is there. Plus, his uncle."

"I assume the PD is getting whacked right now? Can they still manipulate things? Especially with his real character exposed? Shouldn’t they be careful?"

"You’d think so, but who knows. As I said, I’m not your parent. I just wanted you to think a little about what this all means, what your next steps are, and how it will affect you in the future. If you’re certain of your path, proceed. Now then, Mr. future global idol superstar, what do you need from me apart from childhood photos? Don’t say ’nothing’, otherwise, I will ask Sabine to post on my account and say those photos were fabricated with AI."

"You’re wicked."

"Thank you. What can I do for you?"

Ari thought about it for a second before coming up with a quick list.

"Firstly, do you know of any internship positions open next summer? There’s a girl I know who’s trying to be an entertainment journalist, pr owner, something something something." Ari couldn’t remember all the things Grace listed as her future career, but he knew Chloé would get the gist, "Anything internship role journalism. Paid."

"Girlfriend? Is she French? That’s quite irresponsible of you, especially at this moment in your career." Chloé gave him a knowing look, and Ari just snorted.

"Hell no, no, and please give me some credit. I just owe her and her family a lot. I’ll tell you about it later."

"Don’t curse. I’ll have Sabine take a look. What else?"

"Ah, a friend’s birthday is coming up. He likes music, so can you get two passes to the Paris Symphony when I ask? He mentioned that he wanted to go, but he’s never been to France, and any time he checked, he could never get tickets, so I figured I’d give them to him to use whenever we come to France. I’ll send you the money. Well...I’ll send you an IOU. Money is tight right now."

"...you’re coming back to France?"

At Chloé’s surprised expression, Ari shrugged awkwardly.

"Well, I got gifted plane tickets to go, and it’s not like I can avoid it forever, right? I’m thinking about it."

"Okay. What else?"

"...do you want to come to my high school graduation?"

"What?"

"Or not. I don’t particularly care. It’s not like you came to any of the other ones either."

"Because that son-obsessed mother of yours banned me because of ’privacy’! As if I don’t know how to go undercover."

....do you though?

I don’t think you own casual clothes, have ever had a different haircut, or worn red lipstick in all the years I’ve known you.

Not wanting to rile her up, Ari just shrugged.

"Well....that’s kind of out of the window now, so do you want to come? If not, it’s fine. I still don’t really want to attend, but I figure I should. Maybe."

"Send me the date. I’ll check my schedule."

"Okay. That’s really all I need right now."

"Are you sure? You don’t need a single thing else from me."

Suddenly at a loss for words, Ari opened and closed his mouth before looking away.

"Yeah. That’s it."

Rather than say anything, Chloé dug into the bag she had on the floor, taking out a black binder and sliding it across the table.

"You asked me for photos of your childhood, so I figured something might have happened to Ariella’s collection. While I don’t have a lot due to that obsessively protective mother of yours, these are the copies of some of the ones I could find on short notice. Sabine is in the process of digitizing the rest. When you come to France again, I’ll give you the originals, so make do with this. Even if you mess it up, it can be printed again."

Ari just stared at the simple black binder before lifting the cover slowly.

On the first page, inside a plastic sleeve was a large photo, the size of a sheet of paper.

It was a photo of him wearing an obnoxious-looking gold crown that said 12 on it while sandwiched between two people.

Hugging him and stretching one of his cheeks was a woman with sandy blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and a very mischievous smile on her beautiful face.

Stretching out his other cheek was a man with wavy brown hair with grey streaks, dark brown eyes, a gentle smile, and a slightly tanned complexion dotted with freckles.

Ari just stared at the photo for a while before flipping it over.

On the back of the was a short, photocopied note with a message written in an almost illegible cursive scrawl.

Happiest 12th birthday to my chou chou, my bijou, my little prince, the cutest son in the world. May your dreams always come true, may you always have a reason to smile, and may you always be surrounded and uplifted by those who love you to infinity and back.

- Love Ariella and Henri 3

Tracing the letters with his fingers, Ari let out a little chuckle.

For a woman who used to say that only doctors were allowed to have messy handwriting and nag until his handwriting became neat, his mother had terrible handwriting.

Truly horrible and very ugly.

It was worse than chicken scrawl and barely legible.

Closing the binder, Ari just put his head down on the table and cried to the sound of Chloé tapping away on her keyboard.

******

"Finished?"

"You’re supposed to comfort me," Ari grumbled with a stuffy nose.

His head was pounding, and his eyes and neck ached from crying for who knows how long.

"Blow your nose off to the side, please. You’re lucky that I thought to put them in a waterproof sleeve. Now that you’re done, let’s move on. I contacted your PD’s boss and took tomorrow off for you. Here’s the hotel key card; it’s booked with massage and spa services. Use it, don’t use it. I don’t care. When Sabine comes back, I’ll have him take your measurements for clothes. I assume that you’re trying to add weight?"

"I could be trying to lose weight."

"From where? That mouth of yours? I can only hope."

Ari: ಠ_ಠ

Chloé looked him up and down before clicking her tongue.

"Don’t waste my time. At your height, you probably want to gain what, 4-10 kg?"

"About 6 kg. Hopefully."

"Noted. Give me your address, and I’ll have clothes regularly sent to you, Mr. Global Idol Superstar. That ghastly mud colored tracksuit with that strange animal face should be disposed of immediately. It’s an affront to fashion as a whole. And I suppose when this show is finished, I’ll have to occasionally send things to your group mates as well. How bothersome. As for fashion shows, you missed spring, but fall is coming up, so I’ll see about invitations. I suppose your individual activities will depend on your contract. Make sure you don’t sign it willy-nilly, send it to Sabine. Once your group begins releasing music, we’ll see about performing at shows. Hmm..."

As Chloé began muttering to herself while tapping away, Ari just stared before interrupting.

"Uhh, I know I sounded really confident a while ago, but I don’t actually know if I can actually make the debut team. The hate online was pretty bad, and even if things get corrected, I don’t know if I’ll have enough votes to make it to the end."

"Why wouldn’t you?"

"Pardon?"

"I said, why wouldn’t you?" Chloé looked at him as if he were stupid.

"What do you mean?" Ari asked curiously.

He didn’t have his phone, so he had no idea what was going on right now and what exactly had been released and how people were reacting.

"I don’t think those show producers realized what they’ve done. Everyone loves to root for the underdog. They want to see the weakling slay the giant. In being so biased against you while protecting the Forbes kid, and failing to cover their tracks properly, they’ve incited something that’s blown up beyond the scope of what they can manage. I’m sure they’re wishing that they just let things be instead of trying to forcibly paint you in a bad light."

"Huh?"

"Chou chou, I’ll admit that I don’t understand the appeal of survival shows to make an idol group. Personally, I think it’s stupid because it often devolves into a popularity contest rather than choosing the most skilled person, and the people who run it prefer to cause drama rather than give a straightforward portrayal of the contestant’s skill level. It also causes other problems down the line, which is what I think is going to happen to you. I gave you a lot of reasons why I don’t think that you will work well in a group, but perhaps the most important one is that even if you want to blend in and be less selfish and polarizing, it’s a bit too late, because your fans..." Chloé paused while staring over the water, her red lips pursed in the semblance of a smile, "Your fans have turned rabid."