Chapter 85: Kicking So Hard It Pops Your Sneakers Open - Genshin Impact: I Made the Entire Playerbase Cry - NovelsTime

Genshin Impact: I Made the Entire Playerbase Cry

Chapter 85: Kicking So Hard It Pops Your Sneakers Open

Author: Reruo
updatedAt: 2025-08-25

After registering, Lumine returned to Liyue Harbor with Paimon to rest.

The next day, the two arrived on time at the fourth competition zone.

From afar, they spotted a familiar figure.

"Zhongli?"

Zhongli turned around. "You've arrived."

Paimon crossed her arms. "You really do have a lot of free time, Zhongli. Not working again today?"

A mischievous-looking girl popped up from the side.

"This esteemed director specially gave him the day off to come watch your match. Pretty nice of me, huh?"

Lumine asked, "This must be Director Hu, the one Zhongli mentioned before?"

Hu Tao placed her hands on her hips. "That's right! I am the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor—Hu Tao!"

[Let me introduce you, this is my wife Hu Tao.]

[So you've discovered my beloved wife ♪~3,2,1, go!]

[Ah, so you're a cuckold, huh?]

"Miss Hu Tao, are you here to compete too?"

Hu Tao wagged her finger. "Of course not! It's just that... well, blades and swords have no eyes, right?"

Paimon sighed. "Uh... you're not treating everyone here as potential clients for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, are you?"

Zhongli explained, "There's no need to take the director's words too seriously. You should focus on preparing for the match."

Lumine patted her chest confidently. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it easily."

Hu Tao clapped. "Oho, quite the confidence! I like people like you—marked as a high-priority tracking client for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!"

Paimon: "Hey—!"

Despite the banter, Paimon still reminded Lumine to be careful.

Because as the other contestants arrived one after another, they all turned their gazes toward Lumine, their expressions unfriendly.

Lumine noticed and joked, "And here I thought I was pretty well-liked."

Zhongli: "They know they're no match for you in a one-on-one fight, so teaming up to eliminate you first is their best strategy."

Paimon was shocked at first, then stomped her feet in midair. "These guys are just too shameless!"

Zhongli told her, "The condition for advancing is 'to fight until only two contestants remain on the field.' Their approach isn't unreasonable."

Lumine smirked. "Whatever. These guys are definitely all scheming on their own anyway. Nothing to worry about."

"Indeed, in the face of absolute strength, petty tricks are meaningless."

That effeminate voice sent shivers down Lumine's spine.

She turned around and, sure enough, it was the same guy from yesterday.

"Wow, the narcissist is here."

The young man, as usual, began by running his hands through his hair. "Your pet has no manners at all. Has she still not remembered my name?"

"Paimon is NOT a pet!"

Lumine shrugged. "You never even told us your name yesterday."

The young man facepalmed. "It seems even perfection like mine can have minor oversights sometimes. My name is Jinyou."

Paimon clicked her tongue. "And you call that perfection?"

Suddenly, she had an idea. "Oh, Jinyou, didn't you say you had some doubts that needed clarifying?"

"You can ask Mr. Zhongli here. He knows a lot about everything."

Jinyou looked at Zhongli. "Mr. Zhongli of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor—I've heard of you. They say you're the most knowledgeable person in Liyue Harbor. A pleasure to meet you."

Zhongli nodded slightly. "You flatter me. What seems to be troubling you, young man?"

Jinyou repeated the same spiel he had given the day before.

Finally, he added, "Perhaps what my life truly needs is a Vision. Only then would it be perfect."

But Zhongli said what he needed wasn't a Vision—it was a taste of failure.

Jinyou was puzzled, but Zhongli offered no further explanation.

The Qixing's team arrived.

The free-for-all melee did not permit the use of Visions or elemental tools.

This was purely a test of swordsmanship, so they had also brought referees.

The later one-on-one elimination rounds for the top eight would have no such restrictions.

Aside from referees, there was also a medical team on standby. Blades had no eyes, after all, and safety had to be ensured.

——————

The referee called the contestants onto the stage to prepare.

"Good luck."

"Go get 'em, Lumine!"

Lumine gave a firm "Mm," gripping her Dull Blade as she stepped into the arena.

There were about a hundred people here, most of whom were staring straight at Lumine.

Their sinister gazes were completely undisguised—they intended to eliminate the strongest first.

Jinyou asked Lumine, "Want to team up?"

Lumine scoffed. "I don't have time to babysit you."

She had no patience for this narcissist who had only practiced swordsmanship for a few days before coming here to join the fun.

She didn't want to be dragged down.

Besides, what kind of united front could you expect from these martial artists?

Dream on. If anyone actually trusted someone else to watch their back, she'd laugh at them for a year.

As the signal sounded, all four competition zones began simultaneously.

No one stood near Lumine—no one wanted to be the first to make a move.

But if it was a group effort, they had confidence.

Four people leaped out from the crowd and charged at Lumine—they had clearly planned this.

Their four swords nearly sealed off all of Lumine's escape routes.

——————

Guinaifen's livestream.

For players, this segment wasn't too hard to handle.

They just needed to press the prompts that popped up at the right time.

But the noob streamer was already sweating bullets.

[Watching the streamer play is peak immersion.]

[Lumine probably isn't even as nervous as the streamer.]

[As a rhythm game player, this is actually pretty tough. Never played something this slow before.]

——————

Lumine had no intention of retreating. She raised her sword horizontally and directly matched strength against her opponents.

Clearly, these people were no match for her.

Right from the start, she took down four in one go.

Those waiting for an opening gulped, weighing their options.

"See, this is what I mean. Who'd actually want to pave the way for others?"

A few stubborn ones launched another wave of attacks.

Again, Lumine dispatched them effortlessly.

Even without elemental power, her physical strength far surpassed these people's.

Now, things around her had truly quieted down.

After scanning the arena, she realized—Little Que'er was also in the fourth zone!

Lumine immediately locked onto her target.

——————

For players, there were three choices:

Help her—fight alongside Little Que'er, and she'll become an ally.

Help her—leave her with a profound, mysterious figure, but she won't become an ally.

Pretend to help her, then rush over and deliver a mighty flying kick.

Guinaifen declared, "I know exactly which one you guys want to see. Let's go with 3, no hesitation."

[Can't wait for the show.]

[Finally, we get to vent our anger.]

[The devs should make more events like this.]

[When will they add that bastard Viktor from Mondstadt into an event? My hands are itching.]

[Go fill out the feedback survey—stop just writing 'extremely easy' all the time!]

——————

No matter what the players chose, Lumine in Teyvat would stay true to her original intent.

She raised her sword and charged forward. "Junior sister, don't panic! I'll help you!"

Little Que'er, while fending off two attackers, still found time to sneer.

"Don't get in my way! Who do you think you are?"

But Lumine didn't stop because of her words.

Instead, she sped up. The two opponents facing Little Que'er thought she was coming for them and hastily retreated.

Seeing this, Little Que'er snapped, "Are you deaf?! I told you to—"

Before she could finish, Lumine delivered a mighty flying kick straight at her.

Little Que'er was sent flying, crashing straight into the sea—eliminated!

Lumine felt refreshed.

"Whew, I bet what you wanted to say was—'Get lost.'"

"Now that's far enough, right?"

Novel