CHAPTER 183: CHAPTER 183: DO YOU NOT LIKE ME?

She suppressed the turmoil in her heart, showing nothing on her face, and reached out to take the envelope, her tone distant.

"Alright, I’ll take the tickets. Please, Lawyer Holden, leave my house now."

She paused, glanced at Jesse who was peeking from the living room, and added, "My daughter is young and doesn’t understand things. She was rude to you before, so I’m apologizing on her behalf."

Justin Holden looked at her business-like demeanor, his eyes swirling with something dark, suppressing an emotion.

He nodded, his voice flat.

"Alright, I really shouldn’t linger here too long. It’s me who should apologize for coming over uninvited."

He said this without any hesitation, turned around, and walked towards the elevator.

Jean Ellison watched his tall yet resolute back disappear behind the elevator doors and slowly closed the door.

Leaning against the cold door panel, she realized her palms were a little sweaty.

She walked to the living room and casually placed those two exquisitely-made musical tickets on the coffee table.

Even though, as she wished, Justin Holden had distanced himself and said they were just friends, she should have felt relieved.

But why did her heart feel blocked by something, heavy and suffocating, making it hard to breathe.

Jesse saw Justin Holden leave, ran over with an unopened toy in her arms, and looked up asking, "Mom, why did Uncle Holden leave? Aren’t you going to invite him to stay for dinner?"

Jean knelt down, tidied her daughter’s collar, and tried to keep her tone calm.

"Uncle Holden is very busy with work. We’ll try not to disturb him in the future, okay?"

Jesse’s small face fell, and she murmured softly, "But he’s Jesse’s dad."

Jean’s face turned serious. She held Jesse’s shoulders, looked into her eyes, and her tone grew stern.

"Didn’t mom tell you not to say that? If others hear it, you might have to leave mom, understand?"

Jesse was frightened by her mother’s serious look, a layer of mist rapidly covering her big eyes, and she nodded aggrievedly.

"I understand, mom. I won’t say that again."

"Not only can’t you say it," Jean added, her eyes sweeping over Jesse’s wrist where her children’s smartwatch was, "you also can’t secretly contact Uncle Holden. No more sending him messages or making calls. Can you do that?"

She knew Jesse kept secretly sending messages to Justin Holden.

She knew all along, but she just couldn’t harden her heart.

Jesse instinctively touched her watch, where Uncle Holden’s phone number was saved, as Uncle Holden had said she could call him anytime.

She looked at her mother’s serious expression, nodded vigorously, and promised with a hint of a sob.

"I can, Jesse can do it. I won’t send Uncle Holden messages anymore; Jesse will be very good. Mom, please don’t leave Jesse."

Seeing her daughter’s fearful yet aggrieved expression, Jean’s heart softened, and she pulled Jesse into her arms, gently patting her back.

"Mom won’t leave Jesse. Mom promises."

After soothing her daughter, Jean let her go and said softly, "Go wash your hands. Mom will make dinner."

But Jesse shook her head, pointing at the KFC bag on the dining table.

"No need to make dinner, mom. Uncle Holden bought a lot of burgers and fries. I can’t finish them, can we eat together?"

Jean glanced at the bag with the red logo.

Besides Jesse’s kids’ meal, there were indeed other burgers and snacks inside.

Her gaze fell on the golden-crisp fries, and suddenly, memories pulled her back to many years ago.

Back then, she and Justin Holden had just started dating. Both were busy with little chance for proper date meals.

The only decent dining out they had was at a KFC.

Justin Holden seemed uninterested in such fast food, barely eating the entire time—only accepting a fry she offered, frowning, probably thinking it wasn’t healthy.

Yet she had enjoyed it because it was their first time eating together at a table.

"Mom?" Jesse’s voice pulled her back from her memories.

Jean regained her senses, suppressing the surge of sourness in her heart, and smiled at Jesse.

"Alright, we won’t make dinner today. Let’s have KFC."

She held Jesse’s hand and walked to the dining table, pausing as her gaze swept over the two musical tickets on the coffee table, then walked over, picked them up, and put them into her purse.

The next day, Jean went to see "Anna Karenina" by herself.

The theater lights dimmed and brightened again, applause swelling and receding like a tide.

She sat amidst the crowd, watching the joys and sorrows on stage, yet her heart seemed shrouded in fog, feeling somewhat numb.

After the performance ended, she followed the flow of people out of the theater.

The night air carried a chill.

Jesse stayed at Isabel Dalton’s house tonight, so she didn’t need to hurry back.

She didn’t call for a car, just aimlessly walked along the street.

Passing by a small bar glowing with warm yellow lights, she hesitated for a moment.

A wave of sadness surged, maybe influenced by the musical she just watched, and she pushed the door open and walked in.

The bar was not crowded, very quiet. She found a spot at the bar and told the bartender, "A whiskey, with ice."

Just as the drink was set down before her, a man slid over next to her.

The man wore a floral shirt, his hair slicked down with oil, sporting a smile he thought charming.

"Miss, alone? Let me buy you this drink."

He placed a bill on the bar, gestured to the bartender, and turned to Jean.

"You don’t look too happy, a little chat might cheer you up."

Jean didn’t even look at him, her voice cold, "Not interested. Please leave."

The man, however, was relentless, moving even closer, his arm almost touching Jean’s shoulder.

"Don’t be so cold, just have a chat and... ouch!"

Jean Ellison suddenly stood up, her chair scraping the floor with a harsh sound.

She forcefully pushed away the man who was almost pressed against her, raising her voice, clearly angry.

"What do you want? Try touching me again and I’ll call the police."

Other patrons in the bar were drawn by the commotion.

The man looked a bit embarrassed, raised his hands, and took two steps back, smiling awkwardly, "Alright, alright, no need to get so worked up, just joking around, why so tense?"

He mumbled as he slinked back to his seat.

Jean sat back down, her chest still heaving slightly.

She picked up her glass of whiskey and took a big gulp.

The cold liquid mixed with the burning alcohol slid down her throat, making her shiver.

After sitting for a while, she felt a dull ache in her lower abdomen, perhaps from drinking something cold tonight.

She got up and headed to the bathroom.

Coming out of the bathroom, she felt a little better.

Returning to the bar, she picked up her unfinished drink and took a couple more sips.

Perhaps she drank too quickly, or perhaps her spirits were already low, but the alcohol hit her fast; she felt her head spinning, her vision slightly blurred.

The man in the floral shirt, like a cat sensing fish, sidled over again, a malicious grin on his face.

"Hey beautiful, drunk? It’s not safe to go home alone, let me take you."

Jean shook her head hard, trying to stay awake, but her tongue was already twisted.

"No need... go away!"

The man reached out to support her, "Don’t be stubborn, looking at you, you probably don’t have a boyfriend, right? Let me be your knight in shining armor."

"Who... who said I don’t have a boyfriend...?"

Jean seemed provoked by his words, sharply shaking off his hand in a drunken rebuttal.

"My boyfriend is... a great lawyer, very powerful."

In her dazed state, she fumbled out her phone, dialing a number she remembered like muscle memory from five years ago.

In her drunken mind, it was still the university days, where Justin Holden was still her boyfriend.

The call rang for a long time before it was answered.

A cold, familiar voice came through.

"Hello?"

Hearing this voice, Jean felt like she found support; all her grievances and drunkenness turned into a coquettish complaint with a sobbing tone.

"When are you coming to pick me up? I’m at... that small tavern on Sycamore Street, can you come take me home?"

"Anyway, you’re heading home too, so... might as well take me with you..."

She was drunk, still thinking they lived close by.

There was a brief silence on the other end.

Justin Holden’s voice was devoid of any warmth, not sounding like a boyfriend’s.

"Miss Ellison, I think our relationship isn’t close enough to speak like this."

"Moreover, my way home doesn’t seem to coincide with yours."

Jean was hurt by his icy tone.

The alcohol magnified her emotions, unleashing the insecurity and self-doubt buried deep inside due to her weight and unrequited love.

With a sobbing voice and slurred words, she accused.

"You don’t like me, do you? Just because... because I’m fat, you hate me, right? All of you hate me..."

Justin Holden fell silent once more.

This time the silence was longer.

He could clearly hear her drunken breathing and sobs, with faint music and chatter in the background.

She was indeed drunk, and badly too, speaking nonsense.

He recalled her cold demeanor in front of him before, how eager she was to get him to leave her home.

He hardened his heart, his voice cold and hard.

"I don’t understand what you’re talking about."

He paused, feeling it pointless to entangle with a drunk, besides she obviously didn’t need his concern.

He spoke formally, "Miss Ellison, if you have nothing else, I’ll hang up now."

Jean opened her mouth to say something, but only a few indistinct syllables came out.

She mumbled a curse for being "heartless," muttering a few more unclear words, her voice too low and indistinct.

Justin Holden had no patience to listen further, his finger moving to the hang-up button.

Just as the call was about to end, he faintly heard a man’s voice on the other end, seemingly talking to Jean in a frivolous tone.

Justin Holden’s finger paused.

He glanced at the time on the bottom right of the computer screen, 11:03 PM.

She was drunk, alone at a bar, with an unsavory stranger nearby.

But wasn’t this her own doing? Going out drinking in the middle of the night, she’s already an adult and should be responsible for her actions.

If she wanted someone to pick her up, it shouldn’t be him.

Didn’t she have a thing for Simon Sterling and Philip Paxton? Then she should wait for them to take her home.