CHAPTER 82: CHAPTER 82: NO, SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME

It was before dawn when he drove away.

At 4:30 AM again, Laura Shaw was once more awakened by the ringing phone. She was about to lose her temper when she saw it was Justin Holden and gave her head a light tap.

Oh well, the consultation fee he’s giving is enough to keep her on call 24 hours a day.

This guy, could he be suffering from insomnia again?

Didn’t he find a roommate to share with? Seems like it’s not helping.

The spacious psychological consultation room had a faint scent of sandalwood, with soft lighting.

Justin Holden sat on a comfortable sofa, his body slightly leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, fingers rubbing unconsciously.

He told Laura Shaw about what happened last night, he mistook Jean Ellison for Claire Caldwell.

Worse yet, he almost didn’t control himself, the urge to touch her body was strong.

Laura knew he was having an episode again, no longer yearning for a ghostly romance, but directly seeking similar people as substitutes to relieve long-blocked emotions.

She wore a white coat, her voice gentle.

"In your heart, what kind of person is Claire Caldwell?"

Justin Holden was silent for a moment, his gaze falling on a certain point in empty space.

When he spoke again, his voice was deep and soft.

"She... isn’t like what many people think." He said slowly, "Her family raised her like a princess, but she doesn’t have even a bit of a princess syndrome."

A slight upward twitch at the corner of his mouth seemed like an unformed smile, with a hint of helpless indulgence.

"Once, I said the gifts she gave were all bought with her family’s card and therefore didn’t count as her own intention."

He paused, his Adam’s apple rolling slightly.

"She didn’t argue, nor did she get angry."

"Later, I found out she went to get a part-time job, in the summer, during the thirty-eight degree heat."

His voice carried a hint of bitterness.

"She stood in front of a fast-food restaurant, wearing a stifling mascot costume, and handed out flyers for ten hours."

He looked up at Laura Shaw, a fleeting emotion passing through his eyes.

"Earned a hundred dollars, bought me a tie clip."

Justin Holden paused for a moment, then continued, "She also loved picking up stray cats, once, she found one badly injured, and frantically took it to a pet hospital. The unscrupulous hospital saw she was young and overcharged her, swindling her out of thousands."

"I later helped her recover the money." He said this in a flat tone. "When she got the money back, she wasn’t at all upset about being cheated. She just looked at me, her eyes bright, and said to me..."

He drew a shallow breath before repeating her words, his voice so light it was almost inaudible.

"She said, ’Justin Holden, you’re amazing.’

"And then, she said," he smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, his voice turning hoarse, "’I got cheated so you’d come to find me, I wouldn’t mind getting cheated a few more times for that.’

After saying the last line, he fell silent.

Justin Holden lowered his head, his thick eyelashes fluttering once, as he looked at his hands clasped over his chest, his knuckles slightly whitened.

Laura Shaw didn’t speak immediately; she hadn’t expected such a response.

He remembered everything about Claire Caldwell so clearly, yet he refused to subjectively describe what kind of person she was, deeply afraid to reveal something in his heart.

"Do you love her?"

Justin Holden furrowed his brow slightly, lifting his gaze to glance at her.

"Ask a different question."

Laura remained silent, then asked, "Do you like Jean Ellison, or are you just using her as a substitute?"

"I’m not using her as a substitute."

Justin Holden answered her clearly; even when clear-headed, his desire for her remained, even stronger.

"So, do you like her?"

"No."

Justin Holden denied it quickly, as if without thinking at all.

How could he like a single mother with a child? With so many women around him, which one of them wasn’t better than Jean Ellison?

"..."

Laura didn’t know what to say, suddenly recalling some literature she had read recently.

"Affection deficit disorder."

Justin Holden’s eyelashes fluttered once, his gaze deepened, a sharp look passing over her, chilling.

"This is caused by a lack of parental love during infancy, resulting in developing affection deficit disorder in adulthood."

"So, you don’t like Jean Ellison, yet you crave physical contact with her."

Laura earnestly continued.

"With this condition, you increasingly shun contact with women, mentally restraining yourself from touching others. You’ve been controlling it for five years."

"Jean Ellison is quite like your girlfriend, her appearance triggered your affection deficit disorder again."

"If I’m not mistaken, you and Claire Caldwell should have maintained a very good relationship in bed, allowing you not to conceal your condition before her."

Justin Holden dropped his gaze, staring at a cup of black coffee on the table.

He silently acknowledged it.

Indeed, he and Claire Caldwell got along very well in that aspect, causing her to once think he was only with her for that reason.

She never asked, but he could see what was on her mind.

He didn’t care if she didn’t want to.

"Lawyer Holden, you’ve got quite a few conditions."

This time, Laura didn’t prescribe any medication, just said it lightly.

This condition isn’t as simple as insomnia; without medication, he would naturally "medicate" himself if he couldn’t control it.

Probably no one would reject Lawyer Holden as a bed partner, right?

She did think about it, purely for his face and physique, but Justin Holden wasn’t interested in her, and she wasn’t going to pursue it, leaving it at that.

"This condition, I have no solution; your urge to touch someone else grows stronger, you can only suppress it yourself."

Justin Holden watched the white steam rise from the coffee cup, his gaze involuntarily dimming.

"Specifically, it’s the urge to touch a certain person."

Laura puffed up her cheeks, speaking slowly, "If it were love, it would be much easier; unfortunately, you don’t like her, and can’t forcibly act on it either."

Justin Holden was at a loss for words, taking a sip of black coffee.

"I’ve already touched her."

Laura grew more astonished, "What? How far did it go, last night, or a few days ago?"

He hadn’t touched a woman for five years, not even brushing an arm, yet surrendered so soon to a woman he’d known for only a few days.

"She wasn’t willing, I forced her."

Laura nearly mistook "forced" for "assault," covering her mouth with her hand, her lips forming an ’o’.

"You’re such a..."

For high-paying clients, she needed to maintain basic professionalism.

Thank goodness he didn’t commit any legal violations.

Justin Holden clenched his jaw, a deeper shade in his eyes.

He looked at Laura Shaw; he was there for treatment, not to be judged.

"I am your patient."

"Yes, you are my patient." Laura flipped her hair behind her ear, observing Justin Holden’s expression, smiling as she said, "Why not try to like her, she might like you too."

"No, she doesn’t like me." Justin Holden’s lips pressed into a thin line, long legs crossed, his hand resting on his knee clenched into a fist, "Her heart is with her ex-husband."

On the night they moved in together, he received a message from Jean Ellison in the study.

"Lawyer Holden, what a coincidence, didn’t expect to live together with you."

"I’ve stocked the fridge with vegetables and fruit, help yourself."

"Furthermore, about the second trial..."

A bunch of vegetables and fruit as lawyer’s fees, she was the first to do so.