CHAPTER 131: WHAT AM I SCARED OF?

Have you ever had a nightmare so vivid that when you woke up, you swore you could still feel it in your chest the next morning?

The kind where your chest is heaving, your throat is raw, and your body keeps trembling as if the dream followed you back into the real world?

Well, that was me.

Even the next morning, I could still feel it. I could feel my hands shaking, the fear.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but the images didn’t fade. They never do, not right away.

Nightmares stick. They crawl under your skin.

It’s worse when the nightmare wears the face of someone you love.

You tell yourself it wasn’t real, that dreams don’t mean anything... but you can’t shake the way it felt.

And the worst part? Lying back down beside them anyway, pretending the fear isn’t there. Because being with them, even if they might break you, it feels less terrifying than being without them.

His face was buried into the pillow. He looked so... soft like this. His lips were parted slightly.

Not like the version of him from my nightmare, with blood dripping from his hands and a knife in his grip.

I stared at him, my chest kept tightening. Which one are you really?

I swallowed, forcing my eyes around the room just to be sure.

The sheets were clean, fresh. No emblem glowing on the wall. Just sunlight cutting through the blinds.

I checked the clock. My stomach dropped. "Shit! It’s already eight."

"Dom," I whispered, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up, we’ve got class today."

He groaned, buried his face deeper into the pillow. "Mmm... five more minutes..."

"Dominic," I pushed again, firmer this time. "It’s eight already."

His lashes fluttered, finally opening those blue eyes that still looked half-asleep.

But instead of panicking, he just smiled. Sleepy, crooked, unfairly gorgeous smile. "I don’t."

I froze. "You don’t what?"

He rolled onto his back, stretching his arms above his head. God, his stomach was showing...lean muscle, the kind that made my face flushed. He caught my stare and grinned wider.

"Good morning, babe."

"What do you mean you don’t?" I muttered, standing up quick, grabbing yesterday’s shirt from the floor and a towel from the chair.

He sat up slowly, running his hands through his hair. "I don’t have class today. I’ve got practice. The big game’s tomorrow." His grin turned cocky. "The Falcons are going up against Estrella High."

I froze at the bathroom door, with the towel clutched in my hands.

He smirked. "You’re coming to watch, right?"

"Uh..." I scratched the back of my neck, avoiding his stare. "Maybe I’ll try."

"Maybe?" He raised a brow, pretending to look offended. "Rivera, that’s not good enough."

I laughed softly, shaking my head as I opened the bathroom door.

Just picturing it made my skin crawl....hundreds of eyes, girls screaming his name, guys clapping him on the back.

Dominic Vale, captain of the Falcons, hottest boy in Blackwell High. And me? Just... me.

The idea of standing in that crowd while everyone drooled over him made my stomach twist. It was stupid, I knew.

He’d made it clear I was his, that none of the noise mattered. But sometimes it didn’t feel real. Sometimes it felt like I’d wake up and all of this...him choosing me, would vanish.

And yet, the way he was looking at me now, like a no would break him... God, how was I supposed to resist that?

"Please," he whispered. "Come watch me. As the captain of the Falcons... and your soon-to-be boyfriend... it’s an order."

That made me stop in the doorway. My lips twitched before I could stop them. Like he already knew I was gonna say yes.

"Captain’s orders, huh?" I said, glancing back at him. "Fine, I’ll come." I laughed, trying to sound casual, but inside... a small, selfish part of me hated the idea of sharing him.

His smile widened. "Guess I’ll have to practice a little harder... wouldn’t want to mess up with you watching."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out as I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

The water hit the tiles first, echoing in the

bathroom before streaming down my face.

It was hot, but not hot enough to burn away the way my chest felt. I leaned into the spray, my hair was plastered to my forehead.

I tilted my face up, letting it drown me for a second.

My body still ached. Last night kept flashing in broken pieces. The sex and the sweetness that came after.

When I finally blinked the water away, I caught my reflection in the fogged-up mirror across the bathroom.

My neck bore faint marks where his mouth had been. I had hickeys all over my neck.

I’d really done it. I’d really lost my virginity last night.

I thought I’d feel... different this morning.

I don’t know. Like I’d feel older or changed.

Like something in me would click and suddenly I’d know who I was.

Like how people say they want to find themselves in movies, then meet someone they love, and have sex.

But all I felt was... me. I was still the same person. Nothing new, nothing different.

But then I remembered last night....how he carried me to the bath, waited while I caught my breath, kissed my tears, held me like I mattered more than anything.

"So, what exactly am I scared of?" I whispered to the glass.

Dominic leaving me? The way I’d fall apart if he did?

Dominic being... a monster, like Blake warned? That shadow from my nightmare still clawing at the back of my head?

Or is it me? My own insecurities clawing in, reminding me that I don’t deserve someone like him. That no matter how many times he calls me his, I’ll always feel like I’m waiting for the moment he changes his mind. Or a third party coming between us, then he realizes I’m just the boy from the swamp.

My reflection didn’t answer. It just stared back, vulnerable, the same way I’d looked when Dominic had kissed the tears off my cheeks last night.

Why am I feeling this way? Why can’t I just let myself be happy?

I dragged a hand down my wet face, groaning softly.

My chest tightened. I didn’t know if I was drowning in love or fear. Maybe both.

I closed my eyes and let the water wash over me again, wishing it could scrub away the insecurities too.