CHAPTER 101: CELESTIAL THIRST TRAP

Chapter 101 – Celestial Thirst Trap

He pointed at her. "Okay, maybe a little. But I didn’t ask for an audience!"

"You activated a divine relic," she replied. "The sky split. Realms shook. We had to watch."

He flopped backward dramatically, one arm over his face. "This is a violation of my private life."

"It’s in the terms and conditions."

"No one reads those!"

"I wrote them."

"Exactly!"

They stared at each other.

Then Lux groaned again. "I knew I should’ve absorbed it in the bathtub."

"You would’ve drowned."

"But I would’ve had privacy."

Celestaria shook her head, amusement tugging at her lips. "You’re ridiculous."

"You’re all creeps," he fired back. "Watching me like I’m some celestial thirst trap."

"I mean," she said lightly, "you did gain seventy-two divine admirers. Including three lesser goddesses and one Archon."

He slumped forward and stared into his milk like it was going to save him. "I want to unexist."

Celestaria walked over and patted him on the shoulder. "No refunds."

Lux groaned again and sipped his milk in shame. It was still warm. Still frothy. Somehow even that felt judgy now.

"...So, assistant, huh?"

She nodded. "I’ll assign one of the interns. Light-touch. Low celestial rank. Won’t smother you with questions."

"Just gonna babysit me in the therapy lounge?"

"Or you could go outside," she suggested.

"I just found out I’ve been vlogged by heaven’s creeper council," he said. "I’m not exactly in the sunlight mood."

She smiled. "We’ll add a privacy layer to the chamber. Promise."

"Also please delete the monologue footage."

"Nope."

Lux groaned and dragged both hands down his face. "You people are actual war criminals."

"We prefer the term divinely omniscient public interest committee," Celestaria replied, far too smoothly.

"I’m gonna lawyer up."

"You’ll lose."

Lux flopped back into the therapy couch like a man defeated not by battle, but bureaucracy.

He was halfway through finishing the last of his almond milk—still warm, now emotionally ruined—when another voice cut in from the far side of the chamber.

Smooth. Feminine. Just the faintest echo of starlight.

"Rather than your assistant," the voice said, "what if I accompany him while he’s here?"

Celestaria paused mid-sip.

Lux’s brain short-circuited. He turned slowly, eyes wide.

A soft shimmer bloomed at the doorway. And there she was—Selena.

The Goddess of the Moon.

Pale silver hair cascading like moonbeams down her back, dressed in flowing whites and silvers that shimmered like a living dream. Her presence was cool, but not cold. Refined.

"Selena," Lux said with a slight smile, adjusting his posture. "Nice to see you."

"Lux," she said, stepping further into the chamber. "Nice to see you too... outside the meeting room, for once."

Celestaria raised an eyebrow. "You’re sure you can handle him?"

Selena’s eyes sparkled. "Why not?"

"You know he’s wild."

Lux sat up. "Excuse me? I feel deeply offended by that. I’m calm. I’m composed."

"You’re dramatic," Celestaria said.

"You monologue," Selena added.

"I’m cultured," Lux corrected. "There’s a difference."

Selena smiled sweetly. "Not with what I saw."

Lux blinked. "Wait. What you saw?"

"The sex scenes," she said bluntly, like she was reading off a divine weather report. "They were wild."

Celestaria choked on her tea.

Lux froze like someone hit his system with a Stun.

"...You watched that?"

Selena looked unbothered. "Of course."

Lux’s entire face turned into a frozen wince. "Oh Holy Hell."

"Don’t worry," Selena said, waving a hand. "Only me and my sister saw it."

His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. "Both of you?"

She tilted her head. "It was in the middle of your power surge. Celestial monitoring flagged it as a ’Peak Disruption Event.’"

"Nice lies," Lux said, voice going dangerously high. "I was naked. And doing things. Naked things."

"Yes," Selena said calmly. "Quite enthusiastically."

Lux almost buried his face in a pillow and screamed into it. Almost.

"You guys seriously don’t have jobs?" he mumbled.

"Details," Selena replied smoothly, floating toward the couch beside him. "Let’s skip it. I came to volunteer."

"Volunteer?"

"To be your escort," she clarified. "While you’re still here."

Lux peeked out from behind the pillow. "Escort... or handler?"

"Both," Celestaria muttered into her tea.

Selena ignored that. "Think of it as divine hospitality. You’re a very important guest."

"I’m a threat."

"Exactly. That makes you important."

He sighed and sat upright again, tugging the pillow into his lap protectively like it might shield him from more celestial embarrassment. "Fine. But only if you don’t bully me about the whole... you know."

Selena smiled, crossing one leg over the other. "Which part?"

Lux narrowed his eyes. "Any of the parts."

"No promises."

"And I want compensation," he added, wagging a finger. "For the invasion of privacy. Emotional damage. Possibly moral corruption on your part."

"Oh please," Selena said, rolling her eyes. "You corrupted yourself."

Celestaria stood and began collecting her scrolls. "You two have fun. Try not to destroy anything."

"Don’t worry. I’m not a kid," Lux muttered, reaching lazily for his half-empty milk glass like a prince slumming it in someone else’s therapy session.

Behind him, Selena giggled. Actually giggled. The sound was light, sharp, and shockingly pure for someone who usually looked like she personally audited fallen angels for amusement. The moment it escaped her, the nearby potted plants—gilded blossoms and holy flora—bloomed slightly. As if the room itself leaned in, startled and pleased by the rare noise.

Celestaria paused and gave her assistant a very pointed side-eye, her lips twitching with poorly concealed suspicion.

"Selena," she said slowly. "You’re blushing."

"I am not," Selena replied immediately, hands folded behind her back like a schoolgirl caught passing notes to the most dangerous boy in the divine classroom.

Celestaria squinted. Then looked at Lux. Then back at Selena.

Lux just lifted his glass and gave her a slow, lazy wink.

Celestaria sighed with the exhaustion of a goddess who had lived long enough to predict the incoming chaos and still chose to walk into it with eyeliner on.

"Alright," she said, adjusting her robes. "I’m going back to the review halls. I have six unresolved guardian petitions and a planetary birth ceremony in two hours."

"Have fun with that," Lux said with a grin, kicking his feet up on the low crystal table.